Ihavenoidea Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Simple question I guess but what are some of the common reasons a woman will lose interest if she has already shown that she is interested? I understand meeting for a first date and not hitting it off and moving on but what if it progresses into a second and third. I just want some opinions and thoughts on why women lose interest in a man. I am sure there are many different reasons but there must be some common ones or examples people can share.
USMCHokie Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Some possibilities off the top of my head include, but are not limited to: 1) She met someone new that she's interested in. 2) During the first encounter, the interest was primarily alcohol-fueled. Then she realizes she's not so interested anymore. 3) At some point she sees something she considers a dealbreaker. 4) Refer to number 1.
butterflysil Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 it could be the same reason men loose interest in women.
Eeyore79 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Some possibilities off the top of my head include, but are not limited to: 1) She met someone new that she's interested in. 2) During the first encounter, the interest was primarily alcohol-fueled. Then she realizes she's not so interested anymore. 3) At some point she sees something she considers a dealbreaker. 4) Refer to number 1. These sound pretty accurate to me. Usually it's #3: a dealbreaker arises, or she decides she can't deal with something despite having tried. If there wasn't some kind of dealbreaker in your relationship, she wouldn't be interested in someone else!
sagetalk Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 If there wasn't some kind of dealbreaker in your relationship, she wouldn't be interested in someone else! The more attractive a girl is, the more options she has. A hot girl will drop you in a nano second if a guy better/more entertaining comes along. When you're dealing with girls who have 4 or more guys chasing after them, you can get dropped easily with no deal breaker involved, especially in the first few dates.
spiderowl Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 (edited) Some reasons: He was too controlling and I didn't realise at first. He wanted to know everything about what I was doing and what I was thinking. He was critical and I couldn't relax with him though he seemed great at first. He made snide comments about my housekeeping. Having got closer, I found I wasn't keen on his natural scent. I thought I'd get used to it but got more turned off. He was too babyish and demanding, not the grown man I thought he was. The sex was awful. I caught him apparently removing a condom in the act without my agreement! He denied it but I didn't trust him from then on. He said and did things that turned me off, e.g. left the bath dirty, used my toothbrush(!), was slow to get his wallet out despite me sharing all costs. He was putting emotional pressure on me by making me feel guilty for having any sort of life without him. He complained about the waitress to the manager when she was clearly rushed off her feet. He thought it was funny driving too fast when I was scared. He suffered from road rage and was temperamental when in the car. Thankfully this wasn't the same guy! Edited April 29, 2010 by spiderowl
Eeyore79 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Yeah, sometimes specific actions betray a lot about someone's personality. My ex told me my house stinks and it isn't clean enough; not only was it incredibly rude, but I asked other people and they said it doesn't. I can't afford to redecorate, I know my place is shabby and a little damp, but what did he really hope to achieve by bringing it up? It just made me see him as impolite and critical. Like spiderowl, I have been put off guys after they were rude to waitresses or other people, or because they started being too controlling. One ex actually slept in his car because my cousin stayed over and he refused to be in the house with him, and then he accused me of having an affair with him - he was jealous of my own cousin! Yep, like spiderowl, I have also been put off someone because the sex was awful! One ex used to say stuff like "You couldn't afford that", or "I'll pay for this because you don't have the money". He was wealthier than me, but his "I'm richer than you" attitude really put me off him. If guys make promises and don't keep them, it puts me off. One ex was losing weight and I was happy to date him in the meantime, but he never actually lost the weight and I got tired of dating a fatty who was never going to slim despite his promises. I guess I saw him as weak and lacking in willpower. If a guy starts taking me for granted, I lose interest. Maybe he's just getting comfortable in the relationship, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't value me. All of these things (and more) were stuff I didn't see in the beginning of the relationship, but which emerged over time. I guess you could say I had an idea in my head of who a guy was, so I was interested, and when he diverged from that ideal (e.g. by being rude to waitresses) I lost interest.
norajane Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I'll add a few more: Talked too much about his money and other people's money Too attached to his cell phone/blackberry Was always late Spoke disparagingly of gay people Turned out to be a depressing person, a downer Had too many short relationships, one after another, because he really was only interested in moving from woman to woman, and not a real relationship Talked too much about his mother Didn't read anything, ever, and didn't understand how I could consider reading an actual activity Didn't like pets of any kind at all I didn't like him when he was sober - he was a fun drunk, and mean sober person Workaholic Had a "visa marriage" Talked about how none of the men in his family had married women with large breasts, like this was some kind of family curse Terrible sex
Eeyore79 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Talked too much about his mother Aaahh, I HATE that! Especially if he still calls her "Mommy" Didn't like pets of any kind at all My ex used to complain about getting "sloppy seconds" because my dog had licked me, and he wanted me to lock her out in the kitchen. Nope - HE was the one who got dumped, not my pooch. Love me, love my dog! Talked about how none of the men in his family had married women with large breasts, like this was some kind of family curse I rolled on the floor laughing at this one! Was he including himself in the curse? (i.e. complaining indirectly about you having small breasts)
norajane Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 (edited) I rolled on the floor laughing at this one! Was he including himself in the curse? (i.e. complaining indirectly about you having small breasts) No, because my breasts actually aren't small. I think it was an indirect compliment, or maybe he was just excited thinking he might be the one to break the family curse and couldn't contain himself. Aaahh, I HATE that! Especially if he still calls her "Mommy" It's great when they're close to their family, and if they appreciate mom and help her out, especially if she's on her own. But, there is a line, and some guys do cross it, and that's just weird. Edited April 29, 2010 by norajane
norajane Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 What makes for an awful sex? That would be a whole other thread!
123BeachFan Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 No, because my breasts actually aren't small. I think it was an indirect compliment, or maybe he was just excited thinking he might be the one to break the family curse and couldn't contain himself. Well, hey, you would have been a hit at family reunions! Some more: Talked too much about his exTalked too much about hating his ex's attorneyHogs the conversation, or cuts me off without letting me get back to what I was saying Overly critical, negative, opinionated, prejudiced, holy-roller, cocky, or otherwise rudeCancels a date last minute without rescheduling, repeatedly doesn't call when he says he will, or shows up late for a date (without good excuse)He picks the bar or restaurant and then complains incessantly about their high prices, slow service, or bad food.There really wasnt any chemistry on Date #1, but I otherwise liked himThere was too much chemistry on Date #1, but on Date #2 it became obvious that there's no common interests
Kamille Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I have a few too: - talked about women as if we were all the same (think of any sentence that starts with: "You Women...") - another, really nice really hot guy, clearly stated he wants a wife who would be a STHM. (In spite of the fact he knew I was doing a PhD). - as mentioned previously: talked about and actually compared me to his ex on date 2. - Flaked. Would miss out on a date and then would just randomly show up at my place (think Justin Bobby from the Hills. Run Audrina Run!). - was too keen too soon: would tell me on date 2 that I was the girl of his dreams and that he knew we would be together forever. (Hu? Do I get a say in this?)
Jersey Shortie Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 There are a million reasons. And many reasons I agree with on this thread. I know one reason I lost interest is that I wasn't super into the guy to begin with but decided to give him a shot because A) you never know and B) that's what dating is about. There wasn't anything particularly wrong with the guy, just a lack of attraction. And I am not just talking about physical.
EasyHeart Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I don't think you can categorize something like this. Nor can you 'change' in order to prevent it. If someone is not interested in date 2-4, then it's just never going to happen. I'm a firm believer in being yourself, especially in the first few dates. If you pretend to be someone you're not just in order to get a few more dates, what is that going to give you in the long-term? Nothing.
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