fiat500 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 All right, I feel ashamed posting this because I might be crazy. It's been a little over two years since my ex broke up with me and since late 2008 I have not felt the need to really give him much thought. He broke up with me late 2007. But just when I begin to forget about him, he'll pop up in a dumb dream with some arm candy. It doesn't happen a lot, but often enough so that I won't forget about him. It annoys the crap out of me. What's the deal? I don't want or need him anymore. I really don't care about him. Why would this a**hole reoccur? Then it hit me. When my ex let me go it was already when he had graduated college, gained enough confidence so that he wasn't the fat nerdy kid that couldn't get a girl anymore (in fact he had gotten in good shape), and landed an accounting job that would give him 50k a year. Over the year and a half I spent being depressed about him leaving I heard stories from friends of sightings of him with his dodge challenger and new arm candy. He had used me as a stepping stone to get to where he wanted. And where was i? I was finishing community college stuck majoring in something I never believed in. When I was still going out with my ex he had convinced me that a certain major would be more rewarding for me instead of the passion I originally wanted to go after. And like a young naive girl in love, I had listened to him. So i finished community with a major i hated and went on to work for the next year and a half feeling miserable and unhealthy in an inexorable rut. So within this past week of being back here (i had an old account which i lost the password to) another dream with his stupid face in it appeared this morning and the epiphany finally hit. His unpleasant partying visage with his faggy dodge challenger in my dreams represented what i was jealous of and what i hadn't gone after (no, not partying). I had given up my passion for him and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. a comment made to me yesterday by a stranger further drives home my conclusions. "you have something and you shouldn't let it go to waste." i guess the whole point of this post is that after a break up you have to focus on yourself and take care of your needs and not waste time thinking about someone who doesn't love or care about you anymore. I read it a lot but never really practiced it. I just went through the motions of getting on with my life.
paleblue Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 don’t feel bad it can take time for it to really sink in. im about two years post-break up as well. my deceiver ditched me and went running around, still is. the twist is I work with mine. it was extra hell-ish for awhile. but I let things go, and like yours, I would hear from her (still do) here and there. she also told me she “would really like it if we could be friends” yeah.. ok..surrrrre. we are not really friends. we can not just talk about whatever and feel good about it. she keeps secrets and still lies to me. tries to use me as a doormat in case something goes wrong. I have got to the point where i am disgusted with her. i wont even contact her anymore. I used to love her, now I am disgusted with her. I wish her the best of luck and hope she finds someone more like herself. I agree you are correct, after a break up the best thing you can do is focus on yourself, and take care of your needs and not waste time thinking about someone who doesn’t give a f if you are alive, or laying dead in a ditch somewhere.
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