TLH Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Got a text from my ex this morning- "Happy 22nd Birthday TLH, you're so growed up. Try to have a little bday smile for me today." Why can't he just leave me alone? He ended things with me, WHY WON'T HE JUST LET ME BE?? I was planning on having a good day today, but now all I can think about is this text. He is such a worthless piece of ****. I called him in tears Sunday night because my brother is dying and I had just gotten back to my apartment from a weekend with my family. My roommate wasn't home and I was having a serious meltdown. So I called him because there was nobody else. He didn't answer. I left him a voicemail asking him to please call me back because I didn't know what to do with myself and I just needed to hear a familiar voice. Not only did he not return my call or text me, he didn't even try to contact my roommate. And he told me he would always be there if I needed him. LIAR!!! WHERE THE HELL WAS HE!!?? And now he has the guts to text me on my birthday? He doesn't deserve to have my number anymore! He doesn't deserve to think my name anymore! Hell, he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as me!! And for him to assume that I don't smile without him around....**** OFF YOU A**HOLE!! I will never be smiling for you again. EVER AGAIN!! But of course, my response to him will simply be silence. Nothing. He isn't worth it. He has become a stranger.
yume Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Sigh...they never learn do they? I'm sorry to hear about your brother, first of all....now you have more to deal with than just a breakup, which must be really hard on you right now... Secondly, he shouldn't have texted you. As much as he thought it was in the good nature of being friendly it still didn't help you. And sometimes we think that they'll be there for us because they said so, but something will happen and you will need them, and they won't come through...it's a terrible way to feel. However, if I were to be brutally honest I would say that you did bring more pain upon yourself by calling him and expecting him to answer/call back. Don't expect ANYTHING from him or any ex. It won't help you in the long run. I can see you're working on some anger and frustration so embrace it for a while...then let it go. Anger isn't the best way to deal. Feel better.
skydiveaddict Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 TLH; I'm very sorry for your brother. You certainly dont need your ex texting you to make matters worse. Can you block his number? that's what I would do. . I feel the same way about my ex; why wont she just stay the hell out of my life? I truly hope you will be feeling better soon sky
RobM Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I'm so sorry about your brother, that's something so hard to go thru. I got the impression from your other thread that it was a mutual breakup? He could have been just being nice.
Author TLH Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Yes you guys are absolutely right. I take full responsibility for calling him that night. I should have never done it. But you have to understand that the place I was in was the darkest place I have ever been in my whole life. As I was driving back, there was a point where I just wanted to drive my car off the road because I couldn't handle my life. I seriously just wanted to die (I'm okay now, I promise). So looking back, I shouldn't have called him. But at the time, I felt like it was my only choice. I know that I shouldn't have expected anything from him. I tried not to. And I was okay with the outcome until I got the text message today. If he's not going to respond to me when I am on the verge of suicide, then please never talk to me again. It just infuriates me that he had the balls to text me on my birthday and completely ignore me during my darkest moment. I don't care how "nice" he was trying to be. It's just ****ed up. As for the breakup, yes it was mutual. Mutual to the extent that I knew there were issues and neither one of us wanted to compromise. However, I was willing to TRY to talk through it and explore all of our options where as he just wanted out. And I respect that. I really do. That's why I went NC instantly. I had accepted his decision. It's just learning how to live without him that's giving me some difficulties. The thing that really just shocks me is his actions after the breakup. He was never one to go out and facebook was his worst enemy. The day after we broke up, he started "friending" everyone under the sun on facebook and he started going on a daily basis. I have since deactivated my facebook so I don't know what he's up to now, but I do know that he is going out a lot. And he's been drinking and doing drugs excessively. Whereas before, this was never the case. I know that I shouldn't care, and I'm really working on that. I truly am. But it just makes me realize that the guy I fell in love with is GONE. I don't know this "new" person anymore. And I have accepted that the relationship is over and it will NEVER be the same. And I really want to move on. It's just so hard LEARNING how to live without this person. I guess that just takes time :-(
RobM Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 It will take time. You need to find some new friends to talk to when you need to talk. As for actions after the breakup, don't most people change some and guys tend to fill the empty space by going out and doing things and meeting new people. The sucky part is that in a lot of cases, guys will change in ways and go and do things that you wanted from them in the first place, like if they had done that for you maybe the breakup wouldn't have had to happen.
Art_Critic Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 "Happy 22nd Birthday TLH, you're so growed up. How demeaning.. what is he think he is ? your Dad
Author TLH Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Wow Rob. You are so right! Do you have any insight as to WHY guys make the changes post breakup that you would have wanted them to make for the relationship to survive?
RobM Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 (edited) Well, I can't speak for all guys but I know I don't like to be pushed into doing things even if I know it's for the good, it kind of has to feel like it was my idea to do it, or I'm doing it because I want to. You spent a lot of years with him, he must have been pretty ok at some point. He probably did some post breakup soul searching and maybe realized you were right about some things and now is the best time to try things or change things. Edited April 28, 2010 by RobM
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