hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 So as the title says I'd like to say 'THANK YOU' to all that have posted on my threads...good and bad;) Also to the people that have PM'd me:D and defenately to my close friends who stay with me on e mail....you know who you are, love you guys, you have been my rocks:love: Sorry I have not answered some of the posts but TBH sometimes it hurts more coming on here because it brings it all back up to the surface but I think today you guys deserve my thanks:love: So to my update....Well I'm good, still have bad days and yes I'm sorry to say I do still love xMM....but only the man I fell in love with and he is not here anymore... I gave 'myself' a timeline, xMM knows nothing of this as we have been NC 8 wks (had to get calendar out!!) but that time is up in 2 weeks when I go off to Vegas with my 2 best friends (all single!). I'm out of the 'fog' I think....I can see that all he said he 'loved' in me wasn't enough for him to treat me with respect, I have no problem with him making his M work but the way he treated me after his W OD'd(if she did?) has made me see what he is, a spineless coward! Like I said the man I fell in love with has gone.... I have taken 'retail therepy' to its limits, spent sooo much money on my holiday and even went out and got a new car, usually I'm so careful but these last few months have taught me that life is to short to sit and feel sorry for yourself over a 'lost love'.... My Aunty has over come cancer, went through hell for 2 yrs, had 8 months getting over it and has just started getting back to her old self only to be told she has shadows on her lungs and may have lung cancer!! This my friends is heartbreak, not the 'lost love' we all go on about and it has certainly made me sit up, kick myself in the ass and move on!! Don't get me wrong I still think about him 24/7, cry most days and every now and then my mind wonders into 'his' life and I think about what could of been and if he is happy, it still hurts to think about him for to long and I still have to fight back the tears if someone asks me about him but I am getting stronger and stronger every day.... He has stayed away from work unless he really has to come in and most of the time if I know he is coming in I have left early so I don't bump into him so all good on the work front and my boss has been fantastic. A friend said to me he'd seen him downstairs and it took the wind out of me, I was shaking and so tempted to go and see, guess I wanted to see if he looked as sh*t as me....I didn't.. So yeah, I'm doing OK and hopefully I can keep this up and who knows, when I get back from Vegas I may just be myself again.....I know I have a long way to go but I really do feel I'm getting there:)
califnan Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I pray for your Aunt! You are taking on more than you know, with having to consider your good job-livelihood first .. Because in your situation, I know it is a huge burden to have the man in your life on a daily basis - the man who you are trying to avoid - for your Sanity, future - and to Overcome. And you are right, he is a coward.. But you are a Whole, complete woman - and God has great things for you!
Heather1 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Yeah!!!! 8 weeks for me too today, maybe I'll go buy myself something?? Can you believe how hard it is?? I still think about him too, mostly about how he never got ahold of me again. Maybe it was all more one-sided than I thought? I don't want that. It's mostly my crushed ego I guess. I used to think it was hard for him too, now I think he was just relieved (which REALLY means I did the right thing). Still trying to stay busy. I wanna go to Vegas!!! Have a great time!!!
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 I pray for your Aunt! You are taking on more than you know, with having to consider your good job-livelihood first .. Because in your situation, I know it is a huge burden to have the man in your life on a daily basis - the man who you are trying to avoid - for your Sanity, future - and to Overcome. And you are right, he is a coward.. But you are a Whole, complete woman - and God has great things for you! Thank you C for the prayers, she is a wonderful woman and a beautiful person who deserves a better life than she is being given and so, so brave...like I said, it opens eyes to what is real pain.... I really hope god gives my Aunty the great things he has for me, I have my health if not my sanity, right?? xx
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Yeah!!!! 8 weeks for me too today, maybe I'll go buy myself something?? Can you believe how hard it is?? I still think about him too, mostly about how he never got ahold of me again. Maybe it was all more one-sided than I thought? I don't want that. It's mostly my crushed ego I guess. I used to think it was hard for him too, now I think he was just relieved (which REALLY means I did the right thing). Still trying to stay busy. I wanna go to Vegas!!! Have a great time!!! It is so hard Heather but how different I feel now to how I felt when this all 1st started! He used to always get back in touch with me, either by sending me a heart wrenching e mail or by coming into my office. I waited for them both at the beginning but ....neither. I think his W taking the OD has hit him 'full on' but if I'm honest, its for the best. If I'd of seen or heard from him I'd of been sucked straight back in and yeah like you I think if he really loved me as much as I love/loved him he would of been in touch, if I'm honest though, if he turned up with D papers in hand at the moment I'd take him back but that WILL change, I'm getting there!! Yep I think he was relieved too. Ohh girl Vegas is going to be so good....for some reason people keep telling us it's going to be the female version of 'The Hangover'.....haha xxx
MizFit Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Well done H4U...an amazing accomplishment. It was so hard to see you when it all was going on...I'm so proud of how far you've come and you must be confident you can take it the rest of the way to recovery now! Heather...well done to you as well. Just remember something...MMs do grieve for their OW. Just because you hear silence doesn't mean someone isn't crying for you... Both of you take care...xx
Hazyhead Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Woohoo! Here's to the start of this new chapter in your life H4U Stay strong!
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Well done H4U...an amazing accomplishment. It was so hard to see you when it all was going on...I'm so proud of how far you've come and you must be confident you can take it the rest of the way to recovery now! Heather...well done to you as well. Just remember something...MMs do grieve for their OW. Just because you hear silence doesn't mean someone isn't crying for you... Both of you take care...xx YEYYY, GO ME:p Cheers MizFit, I'm proud of me too, I really did think my life had ended when this all kicked off. My Aunty getting ill again has really made me see things differently. I really was going down a slippery slope at one stage!! My family and my friends are whats important now, hell I can share with them what I shared with him, right? My son has had 2 offers to Uni in Sept so very proud of him, good times ahead:) Life is good:cool: xxx
Hazyhead Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Good luck to your son at uni and best wishes to your aunt. I'm sorry you're all going through that.
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Woohoo! Here's to the start of this new chapter in your life H4U Stay strong! Yey Girl:) Feeling very positive....amazing that some of the advice months ago was that i'd wake up one day and feel better...I really didn't believe it but I do:) Still hurts to think of him but I can control it!! Bring on Vegas:cool: Love ya chick:love: xxx
Hazyhead Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Yey Girl:) Feeling very positive....amazing that some of the advice months ago was that i'd wake up one day and feel better...I really didn't believe it but I do:) Still hurts to think of him but I can control it!! Bring on Vegas:cool: Love ya chick:love: xxx Back at ya'! You deserve SUCH a great time in Vegas! xxx
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Back at ya'! You deserve SUCH a great time in Vegas! xxx I'm sure you'll hear all about it;);)xxx
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Well done H4U...an amazing accomplishment. It was so hard to see you when it all was going on...I'm so proud of how far you've come and you must be confident you can take it the rest of the way to recovery now! Heather...well done to you as well. Just remember something...MMs do grieve for their OW. Just because you hear silence doesn't mean someone isn't crying for you... Both of you take care...xx Oh forgot to say Mwhaaaa:love: xxxx
MizFit Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Oh forgot to say Mwhaaaa:love: xxxx Mwaaah right back at you! I say we should all go to Vegas one day! What a riot that would be! Have a great time and remember you so deserve that holiday. Thoughts and prayers for your Aunt and well done to the kiddo! xx
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Mwaaah right back at you! I say we should all go to Vegas one day! What a riot that would be! Have a great time and remember you so deserve that holiday. Thoughts and prayers for your Aunt and well done to the kiddo! xx Yeah lets do it!! I'll check out somewhere to stay lol Got to have shed loads of 'games' out there..... Hah 'the kiddo' is as laid back as always!! Enjoy your 'washing up' with yours! xxx
ladydesigner Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Yay this is such a great thread to read!!! I'm so happy for you!:bunny: I also wanted to send love and light your aunt's direction. So sorry to hear about that. i haven't been on LS in a week or so. It has been helping me not to focus on my A and XOM, but it is so good to hear you are doing waaaaaay better nowadays. Keep it up girl;)
Author hopeless4u Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Yay this is such a great thread to read!!! I'm so happy for you!:bunny: I also wanted to send love and light your aunt's direction. So sorry to hear about that. i haven't been on LS in a week or so. It has been helping me not to focus on my A and XOM, but it is so good to hear you are doing waaaaaay better nowadays. Keep it up girl;) Hey honey, thank you soooo much for your message I'll PM you:) Like you I don't come on to much because it makes me think about stuff but I'm feeling good today so thought I'd blast out LS friends with my sh*t:laugh: That 'wave' thing is soooo true!! Will PM you xxx
Recommended Posts