spike7165 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Hi, Following on from earlier posts, I didn't put my foot in it by asking about staying over on the first night and have seen her every night since then after work. Thing is, I'm thinking when do I mention it again if at all or do I wait for her. I spent all last night in a bar then the morning on the beach which was nice, but not sure whether it's a good idea to do that all night again. It's nice but should I bring it up again or maybe wait til the weekend? Considering her job, she's really quite shy and I have the feeling she'll say yes regardless which is fine if she really wants to now but not if she doesn't Thoughts?? Thanks
bananalaffytaffy Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Ok, now you really are starting to sound like you just want into her panties. If that's the case, just ask anytime.
Author spike7165 Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 No not at all, well ok yes, but not the main thing on my mind It's just that we're spending all night making out in bars! It's kind of feeling a little bit like school chilldren when we're both 35! I'll just wait til the weekend I think and see if she brings it up or an opportunity presents itself.... I really like her so don't want to screw it up, just feels a bit weird spending all night in a bar making out!
Mr White Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Hi, Following on from earlier posts, I didn't put my foot in it by asking about staying over on the first night and have seen her every night since then after work. Thing is, I'm thinking when do I mention it again if at all or do I wait for her. I spent all last night in a bar then the morning on the beach which was nice, but not sure whether it's a good idea to do that all night again. It's nice but should I bring it up again or maybe wait til the weekend? Considering her job, she's really quite shy and I have the feeling she'll say yes regardless which is fine if she really wants to now but not if she doesn't Thoughts?? Thanks The list: - lube - handcuffs - gag ball - condoms - toothbrush - marinated steak - wine
Author spike7165 Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 The list: - lube - handcuffs - gag ball - condoms - toothbrush - marinated steak - wine You forgot the rope :-)
bananalaffytaffy Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 The list: - lube - handcuffs - gag ball - condoms - toothbrush - marinated steak - wineThis was meant to be funny, but the steak and wine gave me an idea... Why not ask her to have dinner at your place? If she feels free to make out in public, maybe she'll feel even better about it in private. If not, you will have had a nice dinner, and a cold shower to go to.
Romance Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Considering your age, just ask her if you can stay over but id wait until fri or saturday.
phineas Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Normally, the overnight stay thing is figured out AFTER you've just had lots & lots of sex. Before makes it seem like your planing to have sex & that's the only reason you want to stay the night. It's true. but women want to know you want to stay the night AFTER sex because you want to be with them. Not as a way to get sex.
123BeachFan Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Doesn't she have kids? That's going to rule out going to her place, and might limit her in terms of her curfew. And I'll pipe in with other posts, a spend-the-night should be suggested after you guys are already having sex.
Author spike7165 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 (edited) Yeah it's a bit of a weird one.. She has kids and is sharing at the moment so her place is out. We have a small circle of mutual friends and this will kick off gossip big time so another reason for avoiding her place. Mine is a bit small but it's that I am seeing her mostly after she finishes work at 1am, so it's not like we can have dinner then build up to something! We end up in a bar til late, making out but getting tired. Anyway, so I jokingly mentioned I wanted to stay with her last night, just because I wanted to stay with her and not go home yet, which was true. She was pretty shy but said she wanted to but would probably fall asleep then get back home to the kids too late. So we had a bit of an awkward silence, then I came up with an idea and said basically, that I wanted her to know I just wanted to spend more time with her in private, not in a bar with everyone watching and that I wasn't trying to pressure her. So I said why don't we take the pressure off and wait until next week when she has a day off. We can go somewhere, get some wine and relax, so she said it was a good idea and suggested Tuesday. That feels good I think for her as well because we can relax and spend time together when we can over the next few days without feeling any pressure at 4-6am. It's weird for me because I have dated a dancer before and she was frankly nuts, but was definitely not shy. This girl, you would never dream thats her job, I seriously don't know how she does it. Nice, talkative girl, but quite shy about expressing herself. She doesn't say much how she feels, just wants to kiss and cuddle a lot! Which is nice because as they say actions speak louder than words, but it does make it difficult when I put an idea out there, of lets go somewhere else together and get a smile but silence! Hopefully that was the right thing to do.....what do you guys think? PS Just re-read the comments about spending the night after sex and you're right though I hadn't though of it like that because of the peculiar timing we end up together. I'm going to suggest she come to my place on Tuesday earlier, I'll cook dinner and then she can leave earlier if she wants without in effect spending the night. Though it's quite amusing we end up spending all night together just sitting on a sofa in a bar! Edited April 29, 2010 by spike7165
D-Lish Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 It's weird for me because I have dated a dancer before and she was frankly nuts, but was definitely not shy. Like stripper?
Author spike7165 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 Yep :-) Exactly like a stripper :-)
123BeachFan Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 PS Just re-read the comments about spending the night after sex and you're right though I hadn't though of it like that because of the peculiar timing we end up together. I'm going to suggest she come to my place on Tuesday earlier, I'll cook dinner and then she can leave earlier if she wants without in effect spending the night. Though it's quite amusing we end up spending all night together just sitting on a sofa in a bar! Inviting her over for dinner at your place on Tuesday is a good idea. Just, be sure to clean up before she comes over, ESPECIALLY the toilet and bathroom sink! Is anyone else's red-flag meter going off -- a sweet, virtuous, single mom stripper? Spike...Is this just a FWB type of conquest, or potential relationship material?
spookie Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 i dunno about sweet, but a lot of the strippers i used to work with were actually goos gf's, and very caring moms. if you can wrap your mind over the shift in boundaries, i think it's possible to maintain your ethics in that environment. it doesnt need to be an issue/ red flag for everyone.
Author spike7165 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 Hi I'm under no illusions about some people stripping out there. I have customers who own clubs so know the business very well and I'd say around 50-60% are doing extras on the side. So I am being very careful and luckily I also know a lot of people who work in the same club who will tell me the truth. But she does seem like a generally nice woman with a difficult few years behind her as a single mom, not perfect at all, but no major character flaws so far. Let's say I have an open mind but I am being vigilent at this early stage because I know the business very very well. Let's hope she's in the 40% and not the 60% :-)
You'reasian Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 i dunno about sweet, but a lot of the strippers i used to work with were actually goos gf's, and very caring moms. if you can wrap your mind over the shift in boundaries, i think it's possible to maintain your ethics in that environment. it doesnt need to be an issue/ red flag for everyone. I agree with this! Not that I would know....
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