monkeymaid Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 txxxx, i ****ing hate you! this whole time our relationshiup, all of those years, our so called connection its a ****ing sham! my feelings were real. ...i felt them through to the depths of my soul. you dont even know how to feel! you felt for about 3 seconds that one time and it hurt you so bad that you cried out loud for about an hour! you fought the feeling of love!! who does that? are you ****ing stupid and insane or just that emotionally ****ed up? now i have to live with the idea that i helped you out so the next guy will reap the rewards. ...i cant even enjoy my own efforts. ...you egomaniacal frigid gold digging bitch. i have made your family millions, i have supported you through everything you have gone through and have been there when your aunt,, uncle, and sabba died. i learned the hebrew language, ive immersed myself in a culture i had no clue about and i did it all with strength and with my head held so tall that ive grown 3 inches. you flaunt your smoking hot ass around just for atention and are oblivious to the people around you. you are selfish and a little ****ing princess that deserves everything in life she will get which is nothing! you will make money and find a nice rich man becasue for now you are hot, but hes going to hate you becasue you are too strong and hard headed, and he will want everything his way. i hate you to the core of my being and i hope to god you fail at life. i want you to crash your car on the way to work, i want you to get fat, and unhealthy, and i hope you get more than the herpes you have already. ...aids comes to mind. im so pissed offand all i want is for you to make it better. ..i know your not, and i thought this was over. ...why do i feel all of this and you feel nothing? **** you
dreamer0123 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 What happened?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why the sudden anger?!?!
cmichael16 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Sleep on it for a minimum of a week, then fold it up and put it away somewhere. Dont send that, unless you are wanting an emotional response and not a good one. I did everything for my ex including paying her bills, gas, food, everything, and she walked away from me, dont harbor hostility, just leave it at NC and move on
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 No please don't send it. In moments of extreme emotion you do really want them to know how you feel and I think we have all been there, but we can all in hindsight tell you its a bad idea. Even if you send the letter, the anger does not leave room for communication. He will either not respond and simply enjoy the attention you have given him OR he will reply and just further the argument. You will not feel any better, only worse and more confused. Put the letter away, write more letters, but do not let him see them.
carhill Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 OP, print it out and delete it off your computer. Set it by your bed and read it every night for a month. At the end of the month, make note of changes in your thought and sleep patterns, as applicable. Let us know what you observe. I've found (and I've done this) that repetition removes the emotional component and what remains is your truth. Accept it. I'm impressed that you've made her family millions. Now you can do it for yourself
Author monkeymaid Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 i just reread that letter about 4 times....i laughed so hard becasue it is mostly true. ....except the part where i wish her ill will. ...i dont really want her to crash or get aids. i guess this is the anger stage. deep down, i was hoping for a phone call, email or something from her for my bday and i got nothing. ...i got a call from her dad, singing me happy birthday, a present from her mom and dad with my exes name on it(writtein by them) but nothing from her. and that was secretlymy bday wish. ...dont tell anyone though. i was sad when i wokeup,then the realization of this ... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=224418&page=7 last post on this page^^^^ i realized something new from thelast breakup. im still infuriated that i let myself be so blind. i wanted what i wanted and to hell with everything else. ...i am learning book loads now though. metal that **** made me laugh. ...i know what you are thinking. nothing else needed yes, i have made her family millions and given them countless deals with people through the years. (theyve founded a kids gym years ago and i seem to have become their pr face. apparently when im not grieving a breakup i am pretty personable) i never intended to send it, i just needed to get that out, and it seemed best in letter form. then i posted it on here in a rather blind rage. its gym time. ...i hear the sound of clanging metal calling my name. thanks for the uplift shackpeople!! you all sobered my emotions yet again!
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