thisgrrlhere Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I have been with my boyfriend for three years well over three years now… we have shared a lot together, been through so much together and been faced with lots of problems or brick walls per say… We traveled Europe together and when we returned things were fine but then I started to get paranoid, I couldn’t trust women, I was terrified he would find someone else better than me and I got crazy, I suppose I pushed him away with my behavior, eventually just before Christmas 2009 we broke up for about three months. I learnt a lot in those three months and I feel like I have changed for the better… I loved this guy so much I sold my car to be with him in Europe even after I went into his facebook account and saw a msg from a girl I thought was my friend her name was “Nancy” we shall say… she sent him a msg the day before he left ( as he was leaving before me) saying she loves him and she will always no matter what, how she wants him and no one will love him like she does… I had fought with him the night before because he had almost gotten into a fight over me with some guy and she said omg I will go see if he’s ok… even tho it was my job to check on him she was hanging on him the whole night and I asked him what the deal was between them and he said nothing… after that I said he can’t see her or talk to her anymore… ok so we broke up and we got back together, he acts so different now days before he would lie and go out without me he hid his relationship status on face book and acted like I wasn’t even alive half the time… this was at the end of our relationship… now days he can’t be more loving, he wants me around, he will do anything for me… things are good… this was until I went thru his phone… I’m a snoopy person it’s a bad habit but if I hadn’t I would never have known what I do now…[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I came across a msg from a girl call ”nan” now I know he knows a lot of girls by this name and I saw it was a picture msg from October 2009 next to it was msgs from me saying I love you baby etc… in this msg was naked pictures of her… her tits her vagina and a ****ing dildo a red disgusting dildo going into her vagina! Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against them but when a skanky hoe sends my man pictures of herself with a dildo up her vag it disgusts me… I was in shock the msgs said I hope these ones are good enough… there was another one as well I couldn’t believe it and he had asked me the day after to send naked pics of myself to him and to be creative… I feel disgusted. I thought we were better than this I love him and he always said If I cheat on him he will leave me and prob kill the guy… now what must I do? So I went on his mobile chat thing that we use to talk to each other during the day… nancy was still on his contacts along with a bunch of other girls I asked him to delete of facebook… along with a load of other girls some with names like miss nasty and miss naughty… I went to his sved msgs and wat do u know? He was having phone/text sex with miss nasty and a girl called amy… I couldn’t get there numbers off the mobile chat thing as they were hidden but it hurts cuz I always thought I gave him everything I could I gave him so much I was losing sight of myself… I thought I fulfilled him sexually I gave him everything :’( and this is my payment? I feel so dirty so disgusted… he won’t even have phone/text sex with me if I try he changes the subject…[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I confronted him and he got angry cuz I was snooping thru his phone and yes I know it was wrong but I don’t want secrets I have nothing to hide and neither should he says nan is not nancy it’s a girl he met while out with his buddy luke, luke who likes to cheat on his girlfriends yeah… so I have her number I need to know who she is I feel confused I feel hurt I don’t feel angry really but I do feel confused as hell. I feel like he isn’t that guy but how can I trust him how can I give him all of me again? I don’t want to be controlling but I can’t trust him I asked him for a while till I can get to gips with this can he delete all the women off the mobile chat thing and can he clean out his facebook friends getting rid of any girls he’s touched, dated kissed had thoughts about and can he not go out without me especially with luke… just for a while… so I’m writing this because I’m confused I don’t know if I shud leave or stay what I should do about the woman, I feel like from October till decemeber they were standing there laughing at me going ha ha ha she thinks she’s all that hey she’s dating him but im having sex with him on the side… he says he hasn’t touched or slept with anyone else but how do I know?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I feel humiliated and ashamed like its my fault, like he should be punished but how? I can’t look at him for to long cuz I see her breasts and her red didlo in my mind… does he think about that while we make love… while we made love was he thinking about miss nasty and nan and amy? All these thoughts cross my mind but I feel like this time round he’s trying and he wants to saty with me and treat me write… I want to give him that chance but how? I couldn’t leave him I felt awfull I felt like if I left I would die and I feel stupid for not leaving him and punishing him a little but at the same time why play games? I stayed with him from Saturday till today and we had sex and it wasn’t like making love cuz I was angry cuz I was fulled with these thoughts it was like just ****ing excuse my language and I dunno if it will go ack to normal… I need help cuz im confused and upset what do I do? Can anyone help me?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Ps. I also feel like I’m not pretty enough for him cuz of it like my body isn’t good enough she had huge breasts and I have really small ones and I just felt like what does this girl have that I don’t? why and who could he do this? I feel low and down and insignificant he keeps saying I’m gorgeous and I plaster on a fake smile and say thanks but I feel like he doesn’t mean it, I talk a lot and he says I’ve been really quite cuz I feel like the trust is gone how can I just babble on? I don’t want to play the victim, I don’t want to be the punisher and I don’t want to hurt or be hurt again my ex xheated it ****ed me up and even played a part in me being so paro in this relationship… once we got back together this time I rusted him completely I felt like I was the only girl for him I don’t want to go back to how I was when we broke up but I don’t know what to do :’([/sIZE][/FONT]
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I waited for a while before replying in the hope that you'd come in and edit the post (can't be done once somebody has replied....) What with the formatting, (you've copied and pasted this, I guess....) big thick paragraphs and txt-spk - this is completely illegible and unintelligible. You need to try to keep it brief, succinct and to the point. break up the paragraphs and use correct English. It's a forum, not a phone so there's plenty of time, and space.... From what I gather you don't trust him, and you have low self-esteem. So split, and work on yourself. If that's too simple, I'm sorry. But really, that post is a load of hard work.
norajane Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 how can I trust him how can I give him all of me again? You can't and you shouldn't. It's time to break up with him. He's a sleazy ho and staying with him will just mean more of the same behind your back.
Author thisgrrlhere Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 I wrote that post while i was extremly upset it's long because i need you to know all the facts in order to help me. i'm hurt and upset and of course i'm feeling down about myslef right now i just discovered something so shocking! i'm not normally like this this guy has changed me completly. i'm not a forum connnoissseur and i don't care how the post looks i'm just looking for answers there is no reason to be so mean about it. i just need someone who hasn't met him or me to give me unbiased advice it doesn't mean i will take it i already kno i'm going to stay with him for now... i need to try wrap my head around this and i'd like someone who has been thru this to help me out if they can or a guy who has done it to tell me what goes thru your head when u cheat on someone u love. ps. i'm complety happy with who i am, i'm not one of those people that can't make up there own minds and follows people like sheep. yes i don't trust him but how can u after that? i can try and i plan to and maybe one day i will but when someone messes with your heart you can't help but feel a bit vunrable. i opened up my heart in that post in the hopes i could justg get some good advice, maybe you've never been in this situation but then you shouldn't judge what u can't understand... heck i don't even get it yet my mind is still confused as hell...
norajane Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 i already kno i'm going to stay with him for now...Why would you do that? Guys who do this sort of thing with women, chat sex and sex pics and skank girls always clinging around him, are not the kinds of guys who can ever be good boyfriends. They never stop doing that crap behind your back or even in front of you, they always defend their behavior, and they always end up making you feel like sh*t. It's inherently disrespectful behavior toward you, which means he doesn't give a crap how he makes you feel. So, what is the point? Why on earth would you stay around for more of this? Because more of this is all you will ever get from him. He's not the only guy out there. Really he isn't. There are far better men. Kick his ass to the curb and go find someone else.
EmperorR Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Why would you stay with him, he is not going to change. I gurantee you he will continue doing this. But sigh some people never learn until it's to late.
heartmonster Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I have been in this position MANY times before and i am sorry this happened to you. I know that you really love him and you dont want to end things although you are hurt... you are probably making a million excuses.. just like i did thinking " oh everyone makes mistakes" " maybe he can change"... and you know what,. you are right,. MAYBE he can change ,,. and MAYBE he was just being an idiot and got carried away to the point where it got completely out of hand. It is your choice wether you want to stay with him or not,. I am not one to judge you. but the right thing to do at the moment is to break up with him. If you dont feel that you can break up with him .. i think u should stay with him for now.. and see what happens,. dont expect him to change because the chances of that are slim to none,... but use him to get back up on your feet from this hole he threw you in,,. slowly get used to the idea of being without him..., ease yourself out of the relationship at your own pase... think about getting back into the dating game slowly,. focus more on yourself.,. try to slowly cut the connection that you feel u have with him. just because he is an a-hole ...dont feel like you arent good enough,. he is the one that isnt good enough to appreciate and recognize a woman that loves him and is doing all she can to please him. he is a loser., dont let that affect your self esteem.
Recommended Posts