Living the lie at Work....(To be/Not to be)

[BlueHarvest]

Hey LS'ers...I'd like to preface this with that I'm usually open and honest about myself with people. I hope this doesn't put anyone off

 

I just started at a new job recently...and most of the "kids" there are straight out of college. I'm not stating I'm not a kid, just turned 26 so I'm still very much young myself. But for a lot of them this is their first "real" job out of college.

 

Unfortunately I dropped out of college mid way through due to lack of focus, lack of understanding of what I wanted to study, and having a wee bit too much "fun". (A culmination of the three).

 

It wasn't the smartest decision I did, and I'm trying to get back there but it still bugs me every day that essentially I'm a college drop-out, even though I have extensive knowledge in my chosen career path, I just don't have a degree.

 

Anyways I digress. I don't make a lot of friends, outside of school (high school/college) a lot of people agree that it's somewhat harder to get new "true" friends. Aside from a few co-workers I used to work with who I still stay in contact with and hang out with I don't get a lot of friends. I try, I put myself out there, but a lot of the relationships either end up not working out (lack of mutual interests) or not a mutual friendship (emotional vampires and such).

 

Continuing on...I just started the job and like I said, alot of the kids are younger then me. During a few after-work happy hour sessions and a few in-work breaks I've gotten questioned where I went to school. I replied that I went to the college I went to. That much is true. But last 2 times I've hung out with the other trainees I've gotten asked when I graduated, and I stated '06 (The year I WOULD have graduated had I finished college). I lied. Part of me just wanted to fit in, since everyone else there was a college grad. Hell, some are working on their MBAs.

 

My dilemma now is (well I guess I do have a slight relationship issue) that there is a girl there that I want to strike a friendship up with (and maybe go further if possible )...but I don't want her knowing I didn't graduate college yet....or that I lied.

 

I don't wanna keep lieing, but I want to fit in. Problem is I already lied, if they ask me again when I graduated I don't wanna lie, but I don't wanna be ostricized for lieing either. It'll be quite awkward for me to say, "You know, I lied...I never graduated before...I dropped out."

 

One of my good friends from my previous job is going to a community college to be a RN. And she agrees that so many people treat her differently when they find out she doesnt' have a college degree. Even though she is very intelligent. The problem with alot of the younger kids today is they think that if you don't have a degree your an idiot. And yet I know I'm smarter then them in some aspect. I started talking to them about setting up SQL servers and how I was setting them up (over lunch friday at work) and they just got this glazed look in their eyes...

 

Sorry I know I'm rambling at this point, but I hope y'all get the gist of what I'm telling you.

 

I want to fit in, I want to get new friends because my previous friends circle is slowly shrinking. I realize I spend way too much time inside on my computer hehe....but at this point I feel like I'm screwed at work. The girl that I want to build up a rapport with doesn't hang out with the drinking group after work so thankfully she's not privvy to the misinformation I've been spewing. But I don't want to lie to the other co-workers either. Granted I wont' work that closely with them, they are all on different teams, but regardless I enjoy talking to them and hanging out with them...but now that I've started a lie I either have to come clean and get ostriziced. Or continue "living the lie".

 

 

Oh the tangled web we weave...

[dennisflorida]

just come clean when asked again. The truth shall set you Free!

No but seriously, just play it off when asked again but with confidence.

"O.k., truth be told, i actually dropped out my graduation year, had to

do what i had to do, i know it's sorta looked down on, but i had to

do what i had to do..." the end, Done. OR, just say you were messin around

when asked. They probably won't even care depending on how much you've

spread this around or talked it up.

[green_tea]

Yeah if it ever comes up again, just say you went there but didn't graduate. Maybe they won't even remember if the subject comes up again, or if someone does say, oh but I thought you said such and such, just say nope, you must have misunderstood what I said, because I really didn't graduate so I couldn't have said that.. (lie to cover up your first lie :-)

 

Also wouldn't your manager/boss know that you never graduated from having seen your resume?

 

Good luck, and don't worry too much :-)

[spookie]

Does your employer know you never graduated?

 

I am actually in the same situation (through the end of the month).

 

I don't let on that I don't have a degree, but then, I don't think anyone's ever posed the question as "where did you graduate?"

 

Most people just ask, "where did you go to school," for which I have a good answer.

 

Personally, I think you are insecure about your lack of degree. You shouldn't be. If you're making it without it, more power to ya.

 

I "came clean" to my bf a couple of weeks after meeting him. Frankly I don't think of it as something about which to be judged, but something related to the acquisition of said degree (2 years after I was supposed to receive it) had come up in my life, so I shared the story.

 

He thinks it's hilarious.

[Cinnamon2000]

Are you going back to school to finish your degree? How many semesters do you have left?

[jnel921]

What you are saying, except I am 42. I am a manager where I work and to work anywhere else I'd probably be required to have a degree. I have always sold myself on the strength of my experience. There are just some things that textbooks cannot teach. Once a headhunter told me that a degree older than ten years was a dead degree and suggested I go back. Seriouly at 42? To pay the state back for stealing the knowledge.

 

If I ever did choose to go to school I would want to study something that makes me happy. My job really doesn't but pays well. You don't have to explain yourself. Many people take their time paying their way through school.

I get sick and tired of these youngn's asking me that question, so when they ask me whatschool I went to. I say old school.

Edited May 18, 2010 by jnel921

[FitChick]

Once a headhunter told me that a degree older than ten years was a dead degree and suggested I go back.

 

Interesting. That explains the state of the economy today if people base their business decisions on what it says in a book instead of real world experience.

 

Would you prefer being thrown in the ocean after having learned to swim from a book or after you learned to swim in a pool?

[jnel921]

I'm sure on paper the numbers looked good and wallstreet thought they could make big money off of bad debt. Too bad no one showed those papers to their investors.

Meanwhile common sense tells you if a mortgage is approved for folks who can barely make ends meet then those bills wont get paid.

[Disillusioned]

Hmm, don't you think college degrees can be a bit...overrated?

 

I mean, anyone who knows college students, has seen the way some of them act once they get that degree. It's like they've achieved nirvana. Then they get cold feet when they start going around to job interviews, and the bosses tell them, "well, your education level is impressive, but what can you do? My best buddy is going for his DVM, not because he has that mission-accomplished mentality, but because he's a computer programmer whose friend is a vet, and he's pretty sure he can write better software than what's available to vet clinics... but he needs that DVM as a stepping stone, to give him credibility. He already has a thriving computer repair business and a music publishing company, so he doesn't think of that DVM degree as the end of the line, if that makes any sense to you.

 

I too have run three businesses, two of which failed. It's true, you're not going to get rich working for someone else... but I can tell you one thing I've learned: there are no self-employed jerks. Any time working for the boss gets to be too much of a hassle, tell him to hang it and start working for yourself. I have only a high school diploma, but nobody told me I'm not allowed to write and publish science fiction.