tiwani Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 K so here's the latest of what's been happening with me and..we'll just call him D. It's been a month and 3 days now since we broke up, and about 5 days ago, D's girlfriend of almost a month dumped him. He called and told me about it and was pretty upset, so I tried to cheer him up and be empathetic(all the while doing the YES!! fist to knee thing from the 90's in between can-can's) about it. We talked for a while but both had a pretty busy day ahead of us. He called me the next day and told me that he had been missing me a lot so he was actually glad that they had ended. We decided to take it kinda slow, play it by ear, yada yada and see if we could work things out and get back together. I was so happy! He called me back that evening, and said that she had called and wanted to work things out-she wanted him back and it took all he had, but he said no, but he was starting to wonder if he should have. He told me that I'm the only person he would trust on this because I'm his best friend and he knew even with how much I love and want to be with him, that I would be honest in what I thought he should do. He then asked me if I think he made a mistake and if he should call her back. 'I wont do it if you tell me not to. we don't have to talk about her again. I trust your judgment.' That's what he said to me. I wanted to yell NO, PLEASE STAY WITH ME! but being the big dumb dummy that is me, I once again put my heart and feelings at the bottom of the food chain. I told him that even though I love him with all my heart and then some, and want to be with him more than anything in the world, I want him to be happy even more than any of that. I wish with all my being it could be me that could make him happy, but if he thought she would make him happy then he needed to call her back. All he said to that was that he had to go so he could call her back, and that he hoped it wasn't too late. They are back together, posting how much they love each other and everything on their facebook's and he's back to basically ignoring me other than to tell me he loves me. now I feel even more lost and hurt and heartbroken than before. I just want him back so bad!!! When will it be my turn to have what I want?
EthanH Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 you did an amazing thing. You know that bs cliche about love being like a butterfly (I can almost feel myself gagging as i type this)...if you crush it, it will die, if you let it go and it flies away and the comes back to you, then you know it is real. Um, so you did that, the problem is, you have a very confused butterfly. The sad truth is, he still loves you, but he has moved on, he came back to you when he was at his weakest, and when you helped him up, he fluttered off again. He sounded like he was really confused when he was in limbo with you and his current gf...he wanted you to show him you wanted him, and not surprisingly, you weren't sure either. One thing though, from now on, say and do exactly what you think, don't regret the past, but make sure that you learn the lesson, don't play games, tell people what you think, as if you don't you regret it as you do now.
northstar1 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 You didn't screw this up. However, you did allow him to walk in and out of your life, despite the fact he came running back to you 3 days after he broke up with the girl he left you for. He's a selfish guy. Yes, he is confused, and that's understandable, but he's also not being very considerate of your emotions. You need to set boundaries and stop talking to him. He's getting the best of both worlds. He's flipping back and forth between girls, but still talking to both and declaring his love to you. That's not fair to you or the other girl. Cut him off, cut off FB and walk away. He's made his choice to be with her, let him have it. Don't allow him to keep you hanging while he figures out what he wants. Otherwise, he will have your self esteem on a string.
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