Should i wish My Ex???

[sanjaynp]

I was in a relationship from past 4.5 years..We were goin 2 marry..But dont knw y she suddenly left me and dont want 2 marry me.I constantly cried and pleaded her for many days 2 not leave me but she cumpletely ignores me..She had gave me all the trust that she will marry only me and i trusted her a lot..She was the only thing in my life which i hoped on.But now everything is finished..i dont feel like living..after reading the forums I started NC wid her..only 2 weeks have passes and its very hard for me not to contact her..I always keep checking my cell that she might call and msg me but stiil she haven't..After some day its her birthday.Should I wish her and break tha NC.???

 

I dont knw what made her change so suddenly..I fought againt my parents just for her and today she is breaking all d promises that she made 2 me..I dont knw what to do now..I have lost all hope in life..Dint knw what m living for now..I cant live widout her and I cant see her wid any1else.M totaly confused wid my life.Should i still wait for her..And Shud i wish her??

[TaraMaiden]

Contact her for ANY reason....? No.

Read this.

[sanjaynp]

I know she will not contact me in future..but i just want her back..I cant live widout her..What If she calls or msg someday..Shud I reply to her??

Please help me..I did so much for her.I cancelled my further studies after being giving exams n getting good marks..my parents booked a house for me n her..and now she dont want 2 marry me..Am very broken..Dont know what 2 do..which way to head in my life..Everything is shattered..I cant even think of someone else in my life..And I cant see her wid any1else..

 

Shud I reply to her if in future she contact me or msgs me to knw how I am?

[Tsm]

im sorry you hurting right now. if it doesnt work out between you two, it will get better with time, and yes you can live without her

[TaraMaiden]

I know she will not contact me in future..but i just want her back..I cant live widout her..

Er... I think you'll find that you are managing to do that quite nicely. so that's not true.

 

What If she calls or msg someday..Shud I reply to her??

no.

No, and no.

Oh, and.... No.

NO. Never. not ever.

I hope that's clear enough for you.

 

Please help me..I did so much for her.I cancelled my further studies after being giving exams n getting good marks

That was really, really idiotic, wasn't it?

I mean, fancy giving up your whole potentially successful academic career for a flight of fancy. ..

my parents booked a house for me n her..and now she dont want 2 marry me.

That's for your parents to sort out. I'm sure if they had a well-planned financial agreement, they've managed to salvage something..

 

Am very broken..Dont know what 2 do..which way to head in my life..

Take one step at a time. go back to your studies. and pick up where you left off. You're young. The world has not stopped turning, flowers still bloom, trees still bear leaves.....

 

Everything is shattered..I cant even think of someone else in my life

yup. Fra too early. Wait a month or two. providing you actively try to focus on your life, things will begin to clear. ..

 

And I cant see her wid any1else..

well, unfortunately, that's not your call. If it happens, it happens.

You don't own her, she doesn't own you. Life goes on, buddy. I'm sorry, but it does. And you're living proof.

 

Shud I reply to her if in future she contact me or msgs me to knw how I am?

 

See response #2.

 

She won't contact you unless it's just to throw you breadcrumbs and keep you dangling.

The only thing you should ever respond to is a genuine and heartfelt apology and a plea to start over. Everything else is just grit in your eye.

 

And could I advise you to not use text-speak on a forum? It's not a phone, there's plenty of room, and you're an educated young man. Write in English because it's far easier to understand, and text-speak does you no credit.

[sanjaynp]

Thanks for the advise..But If I get a call from her,how would i know That what she's calling for unless I pick up the phone..

 

I miss her a lot..I need her..She loved me truly,dont knoe what happened suddenly..The day she talked to her mom about our relationship since then she dont want me..I think her mom has told her something, But I asked her that whether she dont want or her mom..She's like that we both dont want this relation to happen..i cant beleive how can she does this to me after4.5 years..I never did anything wrong in my life.I gave her all the happiness,did everything that she wanted me to do..i was so honest to our relationship..then why she did this..

[ALombard]

Hey Sanjay I know EXACTLY how you feel. I just got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years about 2 weeks ago. Same thing as well we talked about marriage constantly,and kids also. Of course towards the end the relationshi was really dying so it might be a little easier for me. But I know how you feel man, she's wish a new guy now (dumb bitch) and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

I did the whole situation where I called her a bunch and texted her just to get no response in the end. I was miserable, I still am a little sad about whats going on. But I keep telling myself that things will get better eventually. Take the advice you see on these forums because it does help. You need to first break off all contact, delete her number, get rid of any and all items that remind you of her, delete her facebook or myspace or whatever. You're not strong enough to be looking at any of that. Second, hang out with friends, family, go do something during the day to get your mind off her and if you're having trouble sleeping buy some melatonin to help you pass out. One thing I started realizing is that you can't talk about her or the break up too much because as long as you're talking about her you're thinking about her. Don't talk about her at all and if you do don't use her name just call her your "ex" because that's what she is. And finally work on yourself take what happened as a good thing. There is always someone else out there who will treat you better. Like they say when one door closes another opens.

 

Talk to me anytime.

[Livelovelearn]

sadly i agree with ALombard..she did meet someone else, unfortunately i learn the hard way as well. My ex boyfried of 3 years has been acting weird and i come to find out he was seeing a girl for 4 months behind my back, see my post for details. He too has no said anything to me since 3 weeks ago when i brought her up, no apology no nothing. He just said that he is cutting contact off with me and hung up. I am left with nothing feeling like i am worthless, its sad because ive given him alot too and we did talk about marriage before and having his kids. People change, life changes ..and im learning its him who has the problems. So in your case its your ex who has the problem not you, they have something good but they cant see it so they go on to the next thrill for the time being. But we only get older and maybe in time she will look back and regret what she has done especially leaving you alone with no answers. I say move on, try to atleast, in couple months you will be better go to bars clubs anything do stuff to make yourself feel better and get your mind off her. go out with friends and do things you used to do before you met her. I am trying this as well, it gets better but it still is hard and i miss him but since he doesnt respond to my text or emails its clear he does not miss me.

[sanjaynp]

Thanks for your reply..I tried all the things..went out with my friends..kept busy myself.but at end of the day when i go home I always cry because all these years whenever i left for home we used to talk and today i feel all alone, lonely..I keep checking her facebook profile though my friend as she had deleted me from her list..I constantly keep worrying whether any new guy has come in her life or not..All negative things keep running in my mind and even in my dreams all this happens.I cant see her with anyone else..She loved me so much.She was so possesive for me.I never talked to any girl because she wanted that and even i loved it. I love her a lot..Would she come back to me??..She was very shy and sweet girl..never talked to guys but since she changed her college this has happened..But she was with me the whole one year while she was in this college..

Her decision changed suddenly only after talking to her mom.Will she contact me If i maintain the NC..I need her badly.She's my life..I cant think of anyone else and i don't need anyone else..Everyday i keep hoping that she might call or message..But she ignored me a lot..I kept calling her 50 60 times a day,messaged her a lot but no reply from her..I miss her a lot.

 

Whenever I go through the forums i feel good,I feel that you all are there with me with whom i can share the feelings..and its only you all who can understand that feeling because we all have gone through it..

[sphx26]

Have you checked the morgue? lol.. Sorry man, I know how it feels. Well the thing is, if you have been contacting her and still got no response, then it means she does not care for you, if she does then she would have at least tell you why she suddenly vanished.

 

It's a sad thing but like someone said, people, things, etc. change. There is no guarantee in life. The best you can do right now is focus on yourself and do No Contact. I do understand that you want some closure, but clearly, this girl is not willing to give you one, otherwise she would've talked to you already, if you matter enough to her. Sadly,this is not the case, so you must try to move on...We all go through it. You are not alone.

[blahh]

san,

 

me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months now. like your ex, she was also very possessive and in love with me. she broke up with me with no clear explanation and deleted me from facebook and all chances of connecting.

 

we have to realize this:

 

1) if they love us, they would give us an explanation for the break up and a chance for us to speak our hearts out to them. but they didn't.

 

2) if being in their lives means anything to them, they would have us at least as friends. but we're not.

 

3) maybe they have a reason to break up but don't want to tell it to our face b/c they would feel guilty for whatever reason they had for the break up and wouldnt want to hurt us anymore so they protect us from the truth.

 

4) if you REALLY love her, and i mean REALLY her...then you have to let her go...if being w/o you makes her happy; let her go because you love her enough to put her before yourself.

 

i'm sorry dude.....

[sanjaynp]

Its her b'day today...M feeling so odd..today everyone can wish her..but me with whom she was so close to cant even wish her..I feel like calling and wishing her but i know she will not pick up my call..and i dont want to break the NC..Yesterday my close friend messaged her a forwaded message by mistake.then my friend received blank message from her.And then they started conversation about hows life and all.That's it..I knw she must be thinking that I may have told him to do so.If my friend contact her than is it same as breaking the NC??

 

I miss her a lot..I still have the gift that i brought for her some months back..whenever i see all the gifts given by her to me i feel like crying..there is one moment everyone when i cry a lot and miss her..I need her badly..she's my life and she will be whatever she does with me, I can't stop loving her..I can still anything for her and even in future..Am very messed with my life..She may not even be thinking about me and here i cry everytime just for her..

[amz]

I feel for you, it is the worst feeling when the person you love just walks away, you ring text email a million times but they don't reply and it feels like they don't care - WORST FEELING....but!

 

You must have no contact, the more you try to contact her the more you will push her away. Soon enough if you do keep your no contact she will start to think "hey" i wonder what he is up to? he doesnt ring me or text me like he used to maybe he has moved on? remember this.

 

"How can they miss you when you won't leave them alone"

 

You need to look after yourself eat sleep go out and have fun, do not look at her Facebook i know it is very tempting but you have to force yourself not to.

 

The only thing that is important is YOU, i know you love her and you miss her but there is nothing you can do you must let her go and walk away.

 

Keep up with the no contact don't show her that you are weak show her you are strong and you don't need her. End of the day it is her loss.

 

The pain will go away, just remember NO CONTACT.

 

Out of sight out of mind.

 

It has been 3 weeks for me with no contact, and i feel great.

 

Sometimes yes it is hard and you want to text but you will feel like **** if they don't reply and you will be so dissapointed with yourself.

 

BE STRONG DON'T BREAK.

 

Everything happens for a reason. Let her go....

 

If it is meant to be she will come back.

[cp3_panda]

I agree with everything everyone has said so far. Trust sanjay that your body and mind have the capabilities to heal you with due time.

 

And through my experiences in my 4 year relationship that I thought was a loving and caring one, I realized, a month and a half removed and much more emotionally stable, that there were many things about her that I really could not stand. Perhaps the reason I decided to stand it is because it was my first REAL relationship.. or perhaps I was just the type of person to see her in an infallible light.

 

Now being removed from it, I am much more objective and can see things much more clearly. I cannot say that you will go through the same epiphany but I can definitely say that YOU WILL COME OUT OF THIS a stronger and more independent person... But thats ONLY IF YOU LET YOURSELF do that.

[sanjaynp]

Thanks Amz and cp3 for your kind reply..I will not contact her..I hope that if she had truly loved me and had the feeling for me then she will come back to me,but i know at that time her ego will come in between even if she felt to contact me..And you said right that she will miss me only when i dont contact her..I love her a lot.what she had done with me that will remain in my mind the whole life but i can forgive her if she would come back..

[sanjaynp]

its over a month now..I m still at the same feeling,there's no moment when she's not in my head..I always keep a look in her fb and see whether she's online on yahoo messenger..And i found one..The guy who was after her when we were in relation both cum online and go offline at the same time and being invisible..(I know the site where we can find the person who's invisible)..She never wished to talk her because he was after her and even i hated it..But now she chat wid her.She know that guy is after her and she talks wid her at night..She lied me so much..I cant take all this.I feel like calling that guy and giving **** to him but i cant because i dont want her to know all this..

I cant see her with anyone else..She changed so much.I never thought she would do this 2 me..She wanted 2 marry me,have kids and at the end she dont even care that what m upto and what m goin through..She know my parents are after my marraige and they would force me to marry soon with someone else,but she doesnt care.

 

I cant settle my life with anyone else..Its 2 months she broke up..But every single day i think of her and cry..M stiil waiting for her 2 call me,come back 2 me..And m living only in that hope that NC will bring her back 2 me.But somewhere i fear that with NC she would forget me completely..M very confused what 2 do.M just living in hope that she will come in life,if she dont then I cant live my life..Its finished then..