What's going on in her head?

[shep]

Hi everyone, hopefully someone will read this and give me some feedback this time. anyway i'm in a relationship with a girl and we've been together for almost 6 months now. Now everything has been going good or so i thought.

 

recently we have hit a snag and she want's to take a break she says. she said our relationship is perfect but lately for about a month now she feels like something might be missing in out relationship. She says if she could pick all the qualities in a guy i would be it. so i was surprised when she told me this but i was very understanding and said i would be patient with her

 

But she can't even make it past a few hours without calling me. Then she'll start balling and saying she doesn't want to lose me, but if she doesn't stop feeling this way then we're probably going to break up.

 

Now my girl has had a lot of relationships and she always ends up getting hurt somehow by the guy. so my thoughts on this is she is afraid of getting hurt by me somewhere down the line or the age old thing that maybe i'm really not the right guy for her.

 

Either way, any insight or anyone had a similar situation this a response would be greatly appreciated. Thanx

[In-The-Wheat]

First of all, you should probably talk about what is happening. Get a read on her and her actions to determine what she is really feeling.. The next time she gives you the BS, like "i want a break, space, etc." give it to her and go no contact. Give her absolutely no attention.. It sucks, but I bet she is either interested in someone else right now (possibly grass is greener syndrome) OR is unsure/confused if she wants to carrying on this r/s.... she's currently weighing all the outcomes & that would explain the crying and back & forth BS. So when she says she wants a break, you will let her have a break.

 

She's either:

 

1. Going to start to miss you and return wanting everything to carrying on & live happily ever-after - you really have to test her though when she comes back.

 

OR

 

2. She's going to get with a new guy, see what that is like or even just spilt b/c she's not ready/scared to fully commit to you... both things sucks but it happens.

 

Either way, don't talk to her unless she wants to come back after she leaves/takes a "break".

 

Also as I have read, never really experienced I guess - the "honeymoon" stage is coming to an end it seems... Now the real work begins to fight for the relationship. This is where you find out if she is FOR REAL or not. Sounds like she is trying to figure it out herself, but is not too strong...

Edited April 28, 2010 by In-The-Wheat

[shep]

thanks In-The-Wheat for your input. I was actually thinking the interested in the other guy thing was a possibility and i asked her about that and she said no, that she was just confused and didn't know why.

 

Needless to say the break is over for now and it lasted no longer than 24 hours. She did however say the ball was in my court on what i wanted to do, because i told her maybe we should break up then if you really feel this way but she doesn't want to do that right now. She did say something that i didn't like though and it was " i guess we'll see how it goes right now but in couple of months or so if i still feel this way then we'll probably end it."

 

Now that makes me feel like basically it could end on any given day, or she's just keeping me around because, that way she still has someone...IDK. After I talk to her about this, maybe i should tell her we do need a break and she needs to figure things out, because i don't want to just sit around for 2 months with this girl then she just wants to end it beacuse she feels like somethings missing and she doesn't know what???????????

[refurb]

There is another guy who she is attracted to and is putting doubts in her head.

 

RF