Are men good at reading signs?

April 28, 2010

So my girl friend and I were discussing this today - how oblivious many guys are to hints that we like them. I wanted to ask LS for your opinions. Are men really that oblivious? Obviously this is a generalization, and some men will be more sensitive to these hints than others, but how much more so? What generally lets you know that a woman likes you, aside from her actually telling you?

I myself tend to be subtle with guys. Only recently have I started becoming more forward (well, forward for me anyway, haha), but I wonder if I still need to be less subtle.

April 28, 2010

I stick with the general assumption that no girl likes me. It's my way of avoiding potential rejection. It's safe.

April 28, 2010

Not really. It is better to be direct and to the point.

April 28, 2010

I once had a girl tease me and shake her hips at me from a foot or so away from me. I thought she was just teasing. Didn't realize it was flirting until someone told me.

I'm a bit less oblivious now I think, but still. It happened.

April 28, 2010

I can't read signs at all, positive or negative. If a girl seems like she's being nice to me and likes my company I'll assume she has some interest.

If she accepts my invitation to do something that will involve us getting together, eating lunch, going to a park etc, I'll assume she likes me. If she just wants to be friends, I'll think she's a liar for not being honest with me from the beginning.

April 28, 2010

For me to know that a girl is attracted to me/likes me, she has to show that she's somehow going out of her way to interact with me. It could be that she seems to engage me in conversation on multiple occasions, laughs with the things I say, and doesn't mind standing closer to me than usual when this happens. If a girl smiles at me repeatedly from a distance more than once, I take that as an invitation to go over there and talk to her.

Anything that doesn't involve at least this level of interaction is probably going to be ignored by me and most guys as well. Women are fooling themselves if they think that anything less will actually get 99% of guys' attention.

April 28, 2010

Well it depends what kind of signs are thrown out there. One thing I really can't stand from girls is "playing games". If a girl acts cold and not social, I'm not going to take that as a sign that she is into me. What person in their right mind would want to be around someone like that anyways? But if I'm into a girl for example, and she wants to hang out when I ask her...or we have good conversations (not like a job interview where one person is asking all the questions and another is replying "yes" or "no") then I'll take that as a sign that she has some interest in me. Likewise, if a girl asks me to hang out or goes out of her way to start a conversation with me than vice versa, I'll assume she has some interest in me and likes talking to me. Drop hints that can easily be picked up.

April 28, 2010

I think it's fairly obvious when a woman is expressing interest. Sometimes it's really difficult to determine what this interest is. I have encountered a great number of women that I knew were interested. But if they weren't interested in what I was interested in then I ignore their signs of interest.

As far as sex is concerned, I am terrible at determining when women want it. I feel most of the time that woman act too coy and would prefer me to be more aggressive than I am normally comfortable with. I've fail at bedding with women on numerous occasions because I failed to aggressively initiate a sexual encounter. I hear stories of men that pester women to no end because they are more assertive. Their risk taking game nets them more "scores" then my non-risk taking methods, but they also look like douche bags when the woman was really just being friendly.

If women just presented their asses like chimps, things would be much easier.

April 28, 2010

If women just presented their asses like chimps, things would be much easier.

:lmao: Bottoms up!!

OP, men are terrible at reading emotional & social cues, as a general rule (yes, there are of course exceptions). I learned this the hard way, and I still sometimes find it rather amazing, the glaringly obvious neon billboards that my husband just does. not. see. Psychologically it's pretty interesting, though. And certainly there are connections he sees readily that I do not, usually on more tangible subjects.

April 28, 2010

I always know that a girl likes me, even if she doesn't! Seriously though, I have absolutely no ability to read signs. I don't even try to figure them out because I know I'll never be able to. Like that marine guy above, I think it's best to just assume they don't like me.

April 28, 2010

So my girl friend and I were discussing this today - how oblivious many guys are to hints that we like them. I wanted to ask LS for your opinions. Are men really that oblivious? Obviously this is a generalization, and some men will be more sensitive to these hints than others, but how much more so? What generally lets you know that a woman likes you, aside from her actually telling you?

I myself tend to be subtle with guys. Only recently have I started becoming more forward (well, forward for me anyway, haha), but I wonder if I still need to be less subtle.

No, were not good at reading signs because you make it very ambiguous.

April 28, 2010

Now don't all jump on me, ladies, but I think this has a whole lot to do with emancipation, and the parallelism we've insisted upon socially as well as in the professional field.

There was a thread running some time ago wherein I wrote that with regard to the professional working sphere, women and men should be treated - and treat each other equally.

When it comes to emotional/social interaction, we need different things. But the edges have become hopelessly blurred.

Time was when a lady would wear a bustle (to accentuate her rump and sexuality, and ability to bear and raise children {I'm serious!}) A corset to nip in her waist and thrust her bosom up and forward (same reasons) and flutter her fan in a way as to communicate her moods, emotions and intentions.

Signals were clear then. Roles were clear then.

We've moved way on from then, and happily so, because some things were verily utter crappola for women.

But we've gotten to the state where men have been mentally castrated.

We are stronger, more forward, and equal in so many social ways, the poor guys don't know quite how to handle us any more.

That's a shame, isn't it?

I think we owe it to guys to re-instate some of the signals we used to use, to illustrate our attraction - or otherwise - in order to leave them in no doubt whatsoever, what our messages mean.

Bring back the fan, that's what I say....

April 28, 2010

For me it varied. Some females have made it pretty obvious and some I never knew or still don't know about.

I had a few laugh at just about everything I have said:rolleyes: which from what I have learned (not always the case) over the years is a strong indicator of one individual liking another.

April 28, 2010

For me it varied. Some females have made it pretty obvious and some I never knew or still don't know about.

I had a few laugh at just about everything I have said:rolleyes: which from what I have learned (not always the case) over the years is a strong indicator of one individual liking another.

What if it's the other way around, if a guy laughs at everything I say? Is it still an indicator of interest? Or does he just me very funny

April 28, 2010

I'm completely oblivious, I believe this is because I don't consider myself anybody who would attract a woman's attention so even if I did find somebody flirting with me I'd probably misinterpret it as something else. I'm hoping when I become a little more comfortable with myself I might notice more often.

April 28, 2010

Consider the fact that many women have a problem with men failing to notice them, while other women find men mistaking general politeness as flirting. Men typically just guess as to the feelings of women one way or the other.

Some men tend to guess more one way, "no one likes me". Other men seem to guess that most women can't stop flirting with them.

April 28, 2010

I'm terrible at reading signs, my wife will walk across the room, stop, give me the evil eye, not say a word, then stomp away.

My first thought is always "hmm, I wonder if she's mad about something, na, probably not, if she was she would tell me"....

After she does that a few times or gives me the silent treatment (I wonder if she'll ever figure out that's not punishing me) she will finally tell me, lol. I think it makes her even madder that she has to tell me because "if I really loved her" I would have figured it out.

April 28, 2010

I'm pretty good at reading people, but women make it intentionally difficult to pick up on those signs. I mean eye contact from a woman you've never talked to is obvious, but then there's confusing situations which make flirting nebulous.

I'm terrible at reading signs, my wife will walk across the room, stop, give me the evil eye, not say a word, then stomp away.

My first thought is always "hmm, I wonder if she's mad about something, na, probably not, if she was she would tell me"....

After she does that a few times or gives me the silent treatment (I wonder if she'll ever figure out that's not punishing me) she will finally tell me, lol. I think it makes her even madder that she has to tell me because "if I really loved her" I would have figured it out.

Or when "I'm fine" always means "Something is really wrong and you need to figure it out without me telling you"

Women are more emotionally attenuated to other people and they automatically think all guys are like them, and then get mad when you don't read their minds.

Edited April 28, 2010 by Engadget

April 28, 2010

What if it's the other way around, if a guy laughs at everything I say? Is it still an indicator of interest? Or does he just me very funny

Depends on what you are saying. I think you can tell what is legitimately funny and when they are trying too hard by laughing at every little bit of what you are saying.

April 28, 2010

I don't respond much to flirting.

Too many damn teases out there looking for an ego boost.

April 28, 2010

NO ONE, male or female, can read another person's mind. This fact seems to come as quite a surprise to many women, who are convinced that they can "read" people and that people should be able to "take a hint". It's this kind of game-playing (and that's exactly what it is, whether you mean it to or not) that leads to so much of the confusion in dating that keeps places like Loveshack so busy.

That doesn't mean that you have to go up to men and say "I like you. Ask me out." (although there's absolutely noting wrong with that), but you have to make your interest in a guy clear and unequivocal so that he know he's not wasting his time or harassing you.

Another common theme I see on these boards are women saying "Why are all the guys I meet 'players'. Well, think it through: 'players' are narcissists who think every woman is crazy about them, so they pursue without ever considering she may not be interested. Good guys are looking for signs of interest, and if you don't give them any, they will assume you're not interested and look for someone who is.

April 28, 2010

That doesn't mean that you have to go up to men and say "I like you. Ask me out." (although there's absolutely noting wrong with that), but you have to make your interest in a guy clear and unequivocal so that he know he's not wasting his time or harassing you.

Good guys are looking for signs of interest, and if you don't give them any, they will assume you're not interested and look for someone who is.

So what are these clear and unequivocal signs of interest that a good guy will understand?

April 28, 2010

NO ONE, male or female, can read another person's mind. This fact seems to come as quite a surprise to many women, who are convinced that they can "read" people and that people should be able to "take a hint". It's this kind of game-playing (and that's exactly what it is, whether you mean it to or not) that leads to so much of the confusion in dating that keeps places like Loveshack so busy.

That doesn't mean that you have to go up to men and say "I like you. Ask me out." (although there's absolutely noting wrong with that), but you have to make your interest in a guy clear and unequivocal so that he know he's not wasting his time or harassing you.

Another common theme I see on these boards are women saying "Why are all the guys I meet 'players'. Well, think it through: 'players' are narcissists who think every woman is crazy about them, so they pursue without ever considering she may not be interested. Good guys are looking for signs of interest, and if you don't give them any, they will assume you're not interested and look for someone who is.

I nominate this for post of the century. You're 100% right.

April 28, 2010

So what are these clear and unequivocal signs of interest that a good guy will understand?

It's called 'flirting'. Buy a book and read about it, or just watch the women who are constantly surrounded my men -- most of them are masters (mistresses?) of it.