bunnixkisses Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 (edited) SO I've been dating my bf for about 10 months now, on and off. We haven't had the "best" relationship as we are both very stubborn and hard headed. We have broken up a few times, or taken a break, however you want to word it. We always end up back together. The past few months have gotten better, in my opinion. However..things are just getting..boring. stale. repetitive. I am pretty sure I know the reasons why, just not sure how to cope with them. First, we work together...the same shift. We ride together, eat lunch together, and ride home together. Than I go to his house..and hope he sweeps me off my feet with romance and love. It never happens. We don't really DO anything together, we just kinda sit around at his house and sometimes watch movies. He has his own life, he has hobbies, works out and what not, but while at his house... I just watch him go about his life and sit there. Now, I am not a complete and udder moron, I stay at his week nights because it saves gas as I live further away from work and we car pool. When I do choose to go home..THAT is when he misses me and actually wants to do something. In a nut shell...here is the deal. I make him miss me, make him jealous, or ignore him...and he showers me with attention. When I dont play his games..it gets deeper and deeper into that boring, unfufilling comfort stage. I start to feel ****ty about myself..and than...start bitching and complaining. I am aware of how to get what I want..and I do it for a bit..but it seems childish to me. I don't want to play games. (I am 22 and he is 29!) How can we make things more fufilling and not feel liken a married couple? Other than playing this stupid game; how can I make him want me more..or whatever it is he is feeling. What are things that we can do together besides movies? I need something..I'm going to start pulling hair out!!! Edited April 28, 2010 by bunnixkisses
Sivok Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 As a guy, the best advice I have for you is fairly blunt: stop carpooling and living with him during the week. It's more than obvious he's taking that for granted and he doesn't feel he has to 'work for it'. Also, some guys just aren't romantics. It sounds like he's one of them
123BeachFan Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 It's inevitable -- two people who live together will eventually find routine patterns in their lives. You can't help it when you are sharing domestic space. If you want less of that sense, you can try reducing the # of nights/week you stay at his place by half (with the other days at your house), and then insist on going out on a Date Night at least once a week. I'd recommend that you be straightforward in proposing this schedule adjustment to him, instead of going the route of playing games (disappearing so he gets jealous, etc). That will only cause you two to fight.
Author bunnixkisses Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 Thanks guys. I've tried the space stuff...and it makes things better temporarily. He always wants me around when I'm not here... but when I do start coming over again, it goes back to normal. UGH
Sivok Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 See that's healthy though . It's not like you're cutting him out of your life completely. I would definitely not agree to live with him on current terms until you get a solid idea of where the relationship is going too. As the old saying goes, why should he buy the cow if the milk is free? Trust me on this!
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