Esotlam Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 is this platonic or more? I have a huge crush on this girl at work. She used to work for me (and some other folks) so I couldn't act on it (company rules) but she doesn't anymore (but she's still at the compnay) so we could theoretically date without getting in trouble. The wrinkle here is that she has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for at least a year, so I've never held out hope on anything happening. Here are the facts: 1. We chat over instant messenger a lot. It started off small but has grown into a daily addictive habit. We now chat every day (I really need to cut it down because I don't want to get in trouble). The chemistry we have is pretty amazing. Sometimes I initiate chat, sometimes she does. It's quite reciprocal. 2. She sits very close to me where we work (I can hear her when she's on the phone) but we don't really talk much in person. Most of our serious conversation is over IM. It's almost as with we have this secret connection that we tacitly know not to acknowledge publicly at work. 3. She's confided several things in me that she said she hasn't told anyone else at work. She's very explicit that she's doing this when she tells me these things. It would be bad for her if I ever disclosed what she told me. 4. She never talks about her boyfriend, ever. 5. We've never hung out 1x1 outside of work (we have in group situations). 6. Hard to describe her body language toward me but it's generally very friendly. Not sure if I would say flirty, but then again, she isn't flirty at the office at all. She will occasionally play with her hair when we talk and smile but nothing else I can point to. I know second hand that she's in a serious relationship with her boyfriend. They've been going out for a long time, go on vacations together, live together, etc. I have no idea what's going on with that because we never talk about it. Up until recently I didn't think there was anything more than friendship here, but now I'm not sure. I think its basically impossible to figure this situation out from what I've written, but any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated.
somedude81 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 If you were a female. Would anything you said that she does be different?
Author Esotlam Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 If you were a female. Would anything you said that she does be different? not sure what you are asking
Green Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 You are not in a romantic relationship... that would involve kissing and touching at a minimum
Yamaha Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Platonic all the way. Find a girl without a bf. She is using you for emotional support.
somedude81 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 not sure what you are asking Imagine two girls together doing everything you said you do with her. If you could be replaced by a girl then that means she thinks you're her (non-sexual) girlfriend.
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 She's behaving with you in exactly the same way I did with my neighbour. We went to school together for a while (until I moved schools) and then we hung out everywhere together, went shopping, and basically lived in each other's houses throughout our formative years. He was - and still is - one of the nicest, kindest, generous and most loving people I have ever met. He is also gay. You may well not be. She may think you are. Either way, this isn't going anywhere except to best-opposite sex-friend-land.
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