ComeUndone Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 If you find that perfect woman, whatever perfect means to you, is she really going to be enough now and in the future? It's fun and new and exciting in the beginning, but we all know it doesn't stay in this honeymoon stage forever. So is one woman ever going to be enough, or do you guys actually desire that long term relationship even though the excitement has worn off, so to speak. It just seems to me that women evolve out of the honeymoon stage and into that comfortable and love-relationship better than men do. It seems that many men live off that newness and excitement and they often don't appreciate their SO once that is gone. It just seems accurate since men are such sexual beings and driven by their need for variety, but maybe I'm way off base.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I have been wondering the same thing, so I'm glad you asked.
ADF Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I sometimes wonder if men's supposedly innate desire for variety is a bit oversold. Biology may be part of it. But men who try to sleep with lots of different women are often driven as much by ego gratification as sexual lust. They enjoy seducing women, "getting over" their defenses and putting another notch on their belts. This is what affirms them as "real men." Whether the sex was good or bad is almost beside the point. Frankly, I suspect a guy who is having sex with five different women on five different night isn't having much GOOD sex with anybody.
mem11363 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My wife is adventurous so we are always doing new things. She has a killer sense of humor which never gets boring. She has stayed in great shape - we are both 47. She still gives me girlfriend quality sex - hot gf quality sex. GF who wants you to propose to her quality sex. And she is tough - so I am scared of what would happen if I cheated. She has always been complimentary of lorena bobbit If you find that perfect woman, whatever perfect means to you, is she really going to be enough now and in the future? It's fun and new and exciting in the beginning, but we all know it doesn't stay in this honeymoon stage forever. So is one woman ever going to be enough, or do you guys actually desire that long term relationship even though the excitement has worn off, so to speak. It just seems to me that women evolve out of the honeymoon stage and into that comfortable and love-relationship better than men do. It seems that many men live off that newness and excitement and they often don't appreciate their SO once that is gone. It just seems accurate since men are such sexual beings and driven by their need for variety, but maybe I'm way off base.
MrNate Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 If you find that perfect woman, whatever perfect means to you, is she really going to be enough now and in the future? It's fun and new and exciting in the beginning, but we all know it doesn't stay in this honeymoon stage forever. So is one woman ever going to be enough, or do you guys actually desire that long term relationship even though the excitement has worn off, so to speak. It just seems to me that women evolve out of the honeymoon stage and into that comfortable and love-relationship better than men do. It seems that many men live off that newness and excitement and they often don't appreciate their SO once that is gone. It just seems accurate since men are such sexual beings and driven by their need for variety, but maybe I'm way off base. I think you're correct babe. I think that might be based on something very, very primal inside the wiring of a male. I know I think the way you described a lot of times.
Woggle Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 It just seems to me that women evolve out of the honeymoon stage and into that comfortable and love-relationship better than men do. It seems that many men live off that newness and excitement and they often don't appreciate their SO once that is gone. It just seems accurate since men are such sexual beings and driven by their need for variety, but maybe I'm way off base. My one woman is enough for me but this is way off base. Women actually seem to be more addicted to the newness feeling and tend to bolt once that is gone. Just read these boards for proof of that. Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this?
somedude81 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I really don't know. Right now I feel I've been short changed when it comes to sex. I doubt being stuck with one girl would be enough for me. I would need to date and sleep with lots of women before I could even consider sticking with, the one.
Author ComeUndone Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 I sometimes wonder if men's supposedly innate desire for variety is a bit oversold. Biology may be part of it. But men who try to sleep with lots of different women are often driven as much by ego gratification as sexual lust. They enjoy seducing women, "getting over" their defenses and putting another notch on their belts. This is what affirms them as "real men." Whether the sex was good or bad is almost beside the point. Frankly, I suspect a guy who is having sex with five different women on five different night isn't having much GOOD sex with anybody. I agree, but whether men seek out variety to satisfy their ego or their penis, women are still left in this ****ty predicament.
Author ComeUndone Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 My one woman is enough for me but this is way off base. Women actually seem to be more addicted to the newness feeling and tend to bolt once that is gone. Just read these boards for proof of that. Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this? Because men have the primal desire to reproduce I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if men and women are really supposed to be monogamous with each other only. It seems like this goes against biology for men.
Woggle Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Because men have the primal desire to reproduce I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if men and women are really supposed to be monogamous with each other only. It seems like this goes against biology for men. It really doesn't. I know many men who can be faithful but they are the types who women tend to get bored with and cheat on or the type they lose attraction for. I am sorry to the women on here who can appreciate an honest man because I know they exist but time and time again I see that there really is no reward in men being honest and faithful.
USMCHokie Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My one woman is enough for me but this is way off base. Women actually seem to be more addicted to the newness feeling and tend to bolt once that is gone. Just read these boards for proof of that. Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this? I completely agree with this...and when I was with my ex, one woman was all I wanted...
sweetjasmine Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I sometimes wonder if men's supposedly innate desire for variety is a bit oversold. Biology may be part of it. But men who try to sleep with lots of different women are often driven as much by ego gratification as sexual lust. They enjoy seducing women, "getting over" their defenses and putting another notch on their belts. This is what affirms them as "real men." Whether the sex was good or bad is almost beside the point. Frankly, I suspect a guy who is having sex with five different women on five different night isn't having much GOOD sex with anybody. I think you hit the nail on the head. And I think part of it is cultural and that people really over-emphasize the biological aspect (most likely as a justification/rationalization of cultural values that say promiscuity in males is proof of masculinity). Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this? Men get a bad rap because everyone loves passing around the "men wants lots of chicks - it's biology!" argument without questioning it, just because it sounds plausible. I've seen men and women use the "variety" argument to explain certain types of behavior, but it's hard for me to really buy into it. Because men have the primal desire to reproduce I suppose. And people always say this, too. Do women not have the primal desire to reproduce?
Romance Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 As long as you and your girlfriend dont fall into a boring rut--lifestyle and sexual, there's no reason to be bored with each other.
Green Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My one woman is enough for me but this is way off base. Women actually seem to be more addicted to the newness feeling and tend to bolt once that is gone. Just read these boards for proof of that. Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this? Yes Exactly!
Yamaha Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 One (right) women is enough for me. The bs about men needing to spread their seed and following their biological urge is just that, bs. Find the right women and she will end your desire for variety.
Woggle Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 What is this crap about men spreading our seed and where does it come from? I don't want a bunch of kids with different women.
sweetjasmine Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 What is this crap about men spreading our seed and where does it come from? I don't want a bunch of kids with different women. It's pop evolutionary psychology. The fun thing is that you can come up with two contradictory evolutionary explanations for just about any behavior you want. It's post-hoc rationalization pretending to be scientific, but it "sounds right" so people are happy to believe the 'theories' that agree with what they already believe while discarding the ones that don't match up with their preconceived notions.
Yamaha Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 It comes from evolutionary psychologists. Men are wired to spread their seed and women are wired to desire the best mate for their orrspring ( thus an alpha male ).
Woggle Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 It comes from evolutionary psychologists. Men are wired to spread their seed and women are wired to desire the best mate for their orrspring ( thus an alpha male ). I guess people have to justify their job in some way.
Author ComeUndone Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 What is this crap about men spreading our seed and where does it come from? I don't want a bunch of kids with different women. The theory is that men, in order to guarantee their gene pool is carried on, spread their seed around to many women, thus elevating their chances. Logically, NO, men don't want a bunch of kids, this is just the "explanation" for why men have the urge to sleep with a variety of women. I think this is a very dated theory... personally I believe guys just have this raging sex drive and they like the sexual experience with different women.
Engadget Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Men and women get bored in long relationships. Women cheat and divorce just as much now.
EasyHeart Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I sometimes wonder if men's supposedly innate desire for variety is a bit oversold. Biology may be part of it. But men who try to sleep with lots of different women are often driven as much by ego gratification as sexual lust. They enjoy seducing women, "getting over" their defenses and putting another notch on their belts. This is what affirms them as "real men." Whether the sex was good or bad is almost beside the point. Frankly, I suspect a guy who is having sex with five different women on five different night isn't having much GOOD sex with anybody. Naw, it's a nice rationalization to try and embarrass men and make women feel good about themselves, but it's not true. Men are hunters and as soon as they settle down with one woman, they'll get restless and start looking for another. It may be nice to think that men who think this way are all mentally ill, but the reality is they're just following their nature. But the difference between humans and animals is that humans have a brain, and our big head is (or should be) in charge of our little one. What I think is important to remember is that relationships are not as natural to men as they are to women. That's why we see so many threads from women clinging to men who aren't interested and trying to figure out how to change these men into wanting to be in a relationship. Men get into serious relationships when their interest in a particular woman over-rides their natural impulse to hunt, and the security she offers is preferable to the variety available to him. Men who are anxious and eager to get into a relationship with just about any woman are usually men who don't have access to much variety. And men who are screwing you are not thinking "I am in a relationship with the woman of my dreams". Most of the time, he's thinking "She'll do until someone better comes around). And of course, that doesn't mean that men can't or don't want to be in relationships -- most of us are or have been or want to be in relationships. But it's not a default situation for us. And we are perfectly capable of having sex without love; in fact, again, that's a default for men. That doesn't mean we can't fall in love, or don't want to, but (I'll say this for the hundredth time to the women out there) just because a man is screwing you does NOT mean he loves you. Or that he wants a relationship with you.
phineas Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My one woman is enough for me but this is way off base. Women actually seem to be more addicted to the newness feeling and tend to bolt once that is gone. Just read these boards for proof of that. Why do men always get the bad rap when it comes to this? I married my wife because I wasp prepared to spend my life with her. After 7 yrs I still only wanted to sleep with her. She didn't feel the same & started cheating a little over a yr into the marriage.
Author ComeUndone Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Naw, it's a nice rationalization to try and embarrass men and make women feel good about themselves, but it's not true. Men are hunters and as soon as they settle down with one woman, they'll get restless and start looking for another. It may be nice to think that men who think this way are all mentally ill, but the reality is they're just following their nature. But the difference between humans and animals is that humans have a brain, and our big head is (or should be) in charge of our little one. What I think is important to remember is that relationships are not as natural to men as they are to women. That's why we see so many threads from women clinging to men who aren't interested and trying to figure out how to change these men into wanting to be in a relationship. Men get into serious relationships when their interest in a particular woman over-rides their natural impulse to hunt, and the security she offers is preferable to the variety available to him. Men who are anxious and eager to get into a relationship with just about any woman are usually men who don't have access to much variety. And men who are screwing you are not thinking "I am in a relationship with the woman of my dreams". Most of the time, he's thinking "She'll do until someone better comes around). And of course, that doesn't mean that men can't or don't want to be in relationships -- most of us are or have been or want to be in relationships. But it's not a default situation for us. And we are perfectly capable of having sex without love; in fact, again, that's a default for men. That doesn't mean we can't fall in love, or don't want to, but (I'll say this for the hundredth time to the women out there) just because a man is screwing you does NOT mean he loves you. Or that he wants a relationship with you. So you are saying the security she offers outweighs his desire to look for another woman... and when things get routine some years down the road? Is that same woman still going to be preferable to the constant variety of other women? Is that love he feels for her enough? I guess that's where I'm hung up, because all relationships get this way... they get into a natural routine and evolve into something deeper, and this is where men generally get bored. And yes, I am aware both sexes have an issue with this. Like I said before though, it just seems like women adjust better and view their relationship as solid and comforting, whereas a man might feel it's stagnant and boring, especially having sex with the same woman over and over... I can't speak for the women who cheat... they'll say they have their reasons and, like men, maybe some of them do (not that cheating is ever ok). But the women I know just want their men to be happy, and this includes me... sometimes I just feel I'm not capable of that because I'll constantly be up against his biology to look elsewhere.
stillafool Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 If you find that perfect woman, whatever perfect means to you, is she really going to be enough now and in the future? It's fun and new and exciting in the beginning, but we all know it doesn't stay in this honeymoon stage forever. So is one woman ever going to be enough, or do you guys actually desire that long term relationship even though the excitement has worn off, so to speak. It just seems to me that women evolve out of the honeymoon stage and into that comfortable and love-relationship better than men do. It seems that many men live off that newness and excitement and they often don't appreciate their SO once that is gone. It just seems accurate since men are such sexual beings and driven by their need for variety, but maybe I'm way off base. I don't know as you could ask the same question of women. Afterall, when you read about these wives who no longer want sex with their husbands I think a lot of the lost of desire has to do with her being bored with the same sex partner.
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