guccichick Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I met this guy , we hit it off right away.. hes simply the best ever.. we been dating for 3 weeks, and like eachother very much. He is all for me and it shows. When we dont see eachother, we are talking. There is one issue..his best friend.. who happens to be a female and sometimes it seems he likes her in that special way even though he says its not like that..but when i asked if he had feelings for her he blushed and smiled but said no. do i have a right to worry or should i just trust him?
D-Lish Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 How long have they been friends? It's possible she friend-zoned him a long time ago and he still holds a torch. If your gut tells you he might have a crush, trust it. It's also possible as that things develop between you two, if he does have a crush on this girl, it will dissipate once things get intense between you guys.
Romance Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I could never date a guy with a girl best friend. Im much too jealous. best of luck.
In-The-Wheat Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Seriously don't worry about it right now. Two of my close friends here in college are girls & I wouldn't do anything with them. They just give me great advice and are fun to party/chill with. Then again, they are not my BEST friends here - mine are both guys. When I was dating my ex, I did make it a point though to explain they were like sisters to me. I think it helped ease her mind.
D-Lish Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I think he is giving you a lot of assurance that he's into you. They would have already hooked up if they were both into it. I don't have an issue with my guy having female friends. I have male friends- and if I wanted to be with them, I would be. My closest friend for a few years was my male neighbour. We did everything together- and I adored him as a friend. He eventually met a girl that refused to accept him having female friends, and she forbade him from remaining friends with me. It's sad, because I wasn't a threat to her- but he loved her, so he made the choice to do as she wanted and cut off all his female friendships.
ADF Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Here's something that every man knows but many women don't: men, especially younger men, almost NEVER go out of their way to befriend a woman unless they have the hots for her. Almost never. If a man puts any real effort into befriending a woman, 99 out of 100 times, he hopes it will grow into something more.
spookie Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 i've got a lot of close straight male friends, and my best friend is a gay guy. some have gf's, some are married, but none of them pose any kind of threat to my relationship... or vice versa... even in the cases where traces of mutual attraction are present (which i think is normal). i think when people are mature enough to understand what they want, healthy boundaries are not hard to maintain.
pandagirl Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Also, I think it's a little different when opposite sex friendship are formed in school or college. Things are different in that environment, because you're always around the same people. You're friends with people because of proximity. Outside of school, when you don't have that built-in social network, you have to make an effort to meet new people, which is why a lot of guys befriend girls they are attracted to, because -- and I'm not saying in all instances -- that's what motivated them to go out of their way to get to know them in the first place.
mortensorchid Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I am a 35 year old woman, my bff is a 53 year old man, and I am his as well. Needless to say, we keep people guessing as to the nature of the relationship when we meet new people. He and I have always had a thing for each other, but it just didn't happen when we met 13 years ago. Odd? Sure it is. But I understand that the world's full of lonely people too. Jealousy has and will come into the picture on both our parts, but those people come and go and he and I are forever. That's what it's like on my end. Hope this works for you. Don't stop seeing him just because of the situation.
Green Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I am a 35 year old woman, my bff is a 53 year old man, and I am his as well. Needless to say, we keep people guessing as to the nature of the relationship when we meet new people. He and I have always had a thing for each other, but it just didn't happen when we met 13 years ago. Odd? Sure it is. But I understand that the world's full of lonely people too. Jealousy has and will come into the picture on both our parts, but those people come and go and he and I are forever. That's what it's like on my end. Hope this works for you. Don't stop seeing him just because of the situation. I would never date some one in your situation.
txsilkysmoothe Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 You shouldn't interrogate him but over time ask some specific questions - Does she have a boyfriend? Has she ever expressed feelings for him? Have they ever kissed? Have they ever had sex? Did they ever date? If yes - how long? Who broke it off? How serious was it? If no - why not, since they get along so well? I think in many cases, one of the "friends" has a crush on the other.
TheBigQuestion Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Here's something that every man knows but many women don't: men, especially younger men, almost NEVER go out of their way to befriend a woman unless they have the hots for her. Almost never. If a man puts any real effort into befriending a woman, 99 out of 100 times, he hopes it will grow into something more. I may be one of the exceptions. I have a female best friend (not THE best friend, but one of maybe 2 or 3, the others of which are male) where we did sleep together numerous times during the early course of our friendship. From the very beginning, I had made it abundantly clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship. Our friendship grew because we realized that we actually worked very well as friends, even though there was still sex on rarer occasions. We've had enough of a connection to actually be in a relationship, but there is one big issue: despite the fact that we've had sex and that she has openly found me extremely sexually attractive, the feeling isn't mutual. It's strange to say that I had sex with her but don't find her sexually attractive, I know. But at that point I was willing to sacrifice looks just to avoid getting into a dry spell. The fact that she was very good at sex didn't hurt either I do wonder how a future girlfriend would react to this, but I'd say that I most likely would not be willing to sacrifice my friendship with this girl, and that it would be extremely paranoid and possessive for a woman to want to forbid me from remaining friends with her.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 The trick is to not be insecure when this chic is around you. Do not fear her. If she's in the past she's in the past. remember he's with you now, if he isnt dealing with her romantically or emotionally, then give him a chance to prove himself. It's not his fault she's a girl, why dont you ask him if they messed around with each other back in the day?
Sivok Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I'm a young guy (23) and my best friend is also a young attractive woman. However, I have no desire whatsoever to go further than that. Just because we get along really well doesn't mean anything else really. I view her like a sister and nothing more. My ex had the same issue with her. She got very jealous; especially when she saw how much social chemistry we had. She said she trusted me, but she'd get extremely uncomfortable and mad when I'd talk to my friend. It's a very hard thing to get over if you're feeling that jealous. Words wont really do anything.
Author guccichick Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Thanks! I asked about her and he said she's like his sister that she is extremely important in his life but they've never done anything. She knows about me and has told him he deserves me. I just have to shake off the jealousy
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