Stephie Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My ex left a little over a month ago because he couldn't deal with my insecurities anymore. I had become unhappy, blaming him of cheating, and a constant worrier. I was mad all the time and found comfort getting involved with drama. I loved him with everything still do I just pushed him and I don't know why? We still talk almost everyday just stupid little stuff I can't stand the fact of not having him to talk too. If he texts I reply if I text he replies. He sent me a happy birthday text 2 days ago then my Mom left the country for a month so my emotions got the best of me. I replied and told him I missed him and he replied he hates sleeping alone at night he never meant to hurt me but he will get better. I then said well he hurt me more than anyone ever has or will and that I was sorry I took our relationship for granted and pushed him away. He responded see it took me leaving for you to realize just how bad you hurt me f that I can't live like that I may be needy but I will get better. I of course said how sorry I was blah blah. I know he's still hurting I know he still loves me he has cryed and told me that. He said he can't see us together for the next 50 yrs as unhappy as we were. That it was easier now then down the road. Why? I realized the person I had become and what to do to fix this there was a time we were so in love and still are, I explain till I'm blue in the face and he wont budge, theres times when I feel he is then he stops the convo and we don't talk till the next day and its a different subject. I know hes not happier that its killing him but why wont he let whats so meant to be happen. Reading the first paragraph most of you might think wow I would leave too but trust me I am the sweetest person I just got really insecure. Help I need some feedback why wont he budge he loves me?
georgia girl Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 PLEASE go hard no contact. I mean, have absolutely no contact. If he texts, ignore. If he calls, don't answer. If he shows up where you are, walk away. You don't see it now because you love this boy and will do anything to get him back, but he's manipulating you and it's mean. He's making the breakup your fault and in the process, making you believe you are a bad, needy, insecure person. Honey, we are all needy and insecure at times. Each and every one of us has a good side and a bad side. Relationships themselves wax and wane. But, it is unfair of someone who supposedly still loves you to contact you as his personal emotional "safety net" while still tearing you down at the same time. Stay away from him and get some clarity. You are in the height of the emotions right now. With a little time and distance, you will come to have judgment. That judgment will let you see what you did do wrong, what you did well, what he did wrong, what he did well and how your relationship got horribly off-track. At that time, you can also make healthy judgments about what you want. If you want to return to the relationship, what parameters do you require to make sure your person is respected and well-treated? What parameters does you partner want? How will you each pledge to grow and change to be good partners to each other? You can't do that now - even though you desperately want to. If you have any chance of getting back together at all, you need to stay away from him. Only with clarity can you begin to make good, healthy, relationship-sustaining judgments. Good luck. It will get better. Loneliness is not terminal and heartbreaks heal - slowly, but they heal. The other bit of good news? Heartaches heal so much faster without any contact. Take care!
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