her_halo_slipped Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 See my thread below ("Never mind...") and the endless threads before it. I'm just looking for a hug or two from my LS friends. Yesterday I was insanely angry with my MM (and I still am!!!!), but I'm starting to feel the sadness set in. Missing him in my life, not missing the way he played me like a yo-yo. I do still love him, trying to be strong. Keeping it fresh in my head what he did to me yet again. Just sad that it had to happen at all. Wondering why he treated me this way. Wondering if he knows what an a$$ he is... SIGH (((hugs))) IMTK...you know very well that wondering will serve no purpose but to keep you in a place of misery. I know how difficult it can be NOT to let your mind wonder and how easily the mind will stray right back to him, the A and all of the things you may never get an answer to. Try to keep focussed on something else...read a book, call a friend, make a cake. Anything but remaining idle with free thinking time. Trust me...eventually you will reach a point like me, when you rarely ever think of him. And when you do, reality kicks in and you see the damn A for what it was not the fairytale we all wish for. Oh....one last thing...it's a bad momment and it will pass. (((more hugs)))
White Flower Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 (((((IMTK))))) Did I miss posts about the weekend? How did it go?
jwi71 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Just because I said I was having a bad day and missing him does not mean I'm letting him back in! No I haven't changed my number but he also hasn't tried to call. I don't think he will. If he does, I will not answer. You know, I gained like 10 pounds in the last 6 months - went from 6 ft 180 to 6ft 190 - went from 34 waist to 36. I couldn't figure it out. So I kept this log of everything I ate and drink. Well, the diet was fine. Except for the 3 or 4 Dr. Peppers I slurped every day. Aha! That's the problem...sodas. I'll cut back. At first, I decided I would still buy 24 packs but only drink one a week. And damnit, that 24 pack didn't make it a week. Clearly I had a control problem here - a weakness I wasn't good at refusing. So I stopped buying them altogether. And lost almost 4 lbs in the following 6 weeks. I learned something...when you're weak to something, deny yourself the OPPORTUNITY to give in to it. Change your number.
RedDevil66 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Back from your forced time out I see? Glad to see that time hasn't faded you heartless b*tchiness. heatless, hardly, Realist, yes! I've supported IMTK for a long time and I'm still supporting her but this time with tough love. No where was I being heartless And my time out was over 2 months ago, but thanks for taking note. And as far as I can tell, you've played heartless b*itch a few times yourself
RedDevil66 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 But RD has a point. You keep inviting it back in. After 1-2 times, you have to take the ownership for it. You knew he couldn't keep his word. You knew he had a history of doing it. When you get to the point of 10 times of him doing this to you....how can you blame him? I am not trying to be mean, but IF you let him back in and WHEN he does it again, is it going to be his fault then too? Until YOU take a stand and say STOP - ENOUGH - NO MORE ---- ONLY then you will start to truly heal. You won't even even change your cell number becuase you want him to be able to get in touch with you. Thank you for being wise enough to notice.
RedDevil66 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 (edited) Thank you! What I was thinking but didn't say... DUH I did this to myself, but someone else had a hand in playing with my heart. Enough said. you know what, I've supported you from the day you arrived here. Now it's coming to the point where there is only so much "I'm so sorry to see you hurt" and time to talk truths. You live in an alternate reality and I think you come here just to hear non truths. I spoke the truth and if you see that as heartless, well maybe take a look at what the love of your life is doing to you and you will see heartless. Your denial is now at the point of becoming a mental illness (not saying that as a shot). You're not well and really, I can't even posts or read your threads anymore. It's just pointless since you seem to love the pain YOU cause YOURSELF! Edited April 29, 2010 by RedDevil66
bananalaffytaffy Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 IMTK- My intent is to offer perspective, so this is not bashing. You've come here looking for support. I'd love to give you that support, but nowhere in your threads have you convinced me that you are truly DONE with this guy. Yes, you've convinced me that you're angry for what he did, but then less than 24 hours later, you come back and say you love him and miss him. That to me doesn't signal being done. You are still giving him the power by saying he won't call, I wonder if she took him back, I wonder if he's miserable. You are still focusing on him, not you. If you were done, these things would not concern you. We all just want you to be DONE.
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 This stuff takes time to sort out and KISS is getting there. If she chooses to let him back in, then she'll own that. I'll feel sad for her for allowing him back, but at the end of the day it's her life and she is the one who has to live with pain and the awful rollercoaster ride she's on. Noone here is going to enable her behaviour, but at the same time I hope noone craps on her if she has a weak moment or two again. Kiss, just tell yourself 100x a day that you don't care about what happens to him anymore. Detach. Thoughts that pop into your head? BE active in pushing them out of your head and distract yourself. Call a friend, get busy, change the scenery so you won't drift "there".. If you want it over, it'll be over. Yes you love and miss him, rightfully so, but what is that you actually miss? DO that pro/con list. All the good and all the bad. I bet you 100 bucks (no not really, lol) the con list will be alot longer than the pro list. FOCUS on that bad stuff. MAKE yourself see him in the crap light he needs to be seen in. He's a liar, manipulator, deceiver, he's selfish and mean. Really mean. Remember how you felt when he had sex with you and then did a 180. That's intentional and CRUEL. HANG onto that anger and work it for you. Somehow you need to shake off the "ooo he makes me knees weak" syndrome.
GaLwAyGiRL Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 " For few love can last a lifetime, but for many not knowing when to let go can hold them back forever. " ((IMTK)) I hope things are getting better for you.
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