Green Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 If its only going to be a few days he could come along for moral suport... but unless your family was going to be cool with him being around it could just make things worse. although if you are 18 I could see why your parents would be worried about a 30 year old man who lives at home dating you
Author 18inlove Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 If its only going to be a few days he could come along for moral suport... but unless your family was going to be cool with him being around it could just make things worse. although if you are 18 I could see why your parents would be worried about a 30 year old man who lives at home dating you Yeah they would never disrupt this time of sorrow over my bf. The thing is he and I want to get married and have kids within the next 4 years..maybe too soon to discuss, but we are inlove, i just hope i can get thru this tragedy without losing him too
sally4sara Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 He lives a manner of life that impedes his ability to live up to any wants he might have to go with you. Its like a person who claims they love their kids, but won't provide for them. Intentions are for crap if you cannot live up to them.
Meaplus3 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. As for your bf, I think he should be there for you. If he is not.. honestly.. I'm not sure what I'd make of him. Listen, take care of yourself please. I'm sure this is a tough enough time for you. ((hugs)) Mea:)
Author 18inlove Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. As for your bf, I think he should be there for you. If he is not.. honestly.. I'm not sure what I'd make of him. Listen, take care of yourself please. I'm sure this is a tough enough time for you. ((hugs)) Mea:) thank you sweetie, he is NOT goin I guess I have to accept it and go alone, I have family and friends waiting on me leavin soon
Author 18inlove Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 He lives a manner of life that impedes his ability to live up to any wants he might have to go with you. Its like a person who claims they love their kids, but won't provide for them. Intentions are for crap if you cannot live up to them. He isnt goin sally, hell I been here for 3 months still no apartment still livin at his folks place, he is here for me now but a 1000 mile trip to mourn my sister he cant make, i gotta accept his choice and go alone
sally4sara Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 He isnt goin sally, hell I been here for 3 months still no apartment still livin at his folks place, he is here for me now but a 1000 mile trip to mourn my sister he cant make, i gotta accept his choice and go alone Is that something you feel you should accept? Is it good enough for you indefinitely? If nothing ever changes about him, is he the one for you?
Template Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 thank you sweetie, he is NOT goin I guess I have to accept it and go alone, I have family and friends waiting on me leavin soon First and foremost, I am sorry for your loss. Right now your thoughts and prayers should be about your sister, and your family, not about some guy who's not going to make it there with you. Focus on what's important at hand, and then when you are ready, I think that is the time you should consider opening the conversation surrounding your boyfriend back up. Keep strong, and again, sorry for your loss.
quankanne Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 he and I want to get married and have kids within the next 4 years oh, kiddo – are you sure you want to pledge your troth to a man who can't even bring himself to be with you when you need him most? I totally understand how uncomfortable it can be, going to a funeral even when you ARE related to the deceased, but honestly, your mate goes because he/she wants to be your support. Even when it's killing him/her inside, they go. not sure what's going through his mind, but he should at least talk to you about it and come up with a solution that works for BOTH of you. regardless of all that, know we'll be thinking of you ...
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 he and I want to get married and have kids within the next 4 years He JUST moved out his parents house, right? Or is about to, with you? This guy is trying to quit doing drugs and he's so far from being ready to be a father. He hasn't lived alone in years, and isn't independant. Put that plan on hold and don't even consider children until he's clean and sober, and has been for a long time. You're so young, don't think so far ahead, k. Hang there, and again, sorry for your loss..
Author 18inlove Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 He JUST moved out his parents house, right? Or is about to, with you? This guy is trying to quit doing drugs and he's so far from being ready to be a father. He hasn't lived alone in years, and isn't independant. Put that plan on hold and don't even consider children until he's clean and sober, and has been for a long time. You're so young, don't think so far ahead, k. Hang there, and again, sorry for your loss.. thank you, its awful No he still lives with his parents and has for the past 5 years, So is there something wrong with me for wanting to just be with him and accept a man of his kind? I feel like Im losin it:(
Kamille Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. If it's important to you that he be present, you should make it a point to tell him so. thank you, its awful No he still lives with his parents and has for the past 5 years, So is there something wrong with me for wanting to just be with him and accept a man of his kind? I feel like Im losin it:( While reading this thread, I wondered if you struggle to make your needs a priority in this relationship. If that is the case, then the question is: why?
Author 18inlove Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 thanks for your sympathy..it was a horrible expirience, Its still hard everyday he ended up not going with me but is my shoulder to cry on, all my friends had their bf's or gf's with them but me..felt lonely...but when i returned he had got us our apartment together, so we are moving in this weekend. We are thinking of getting married and having kids within 4 years..just if he would get off the drugs for good. I know he is much older but i do love him and i feel alot more mature for my age then any 19 year old. we will see..any advice on living together will be nice.
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