LDR broke up but I still want to move

[luxx]

Hi. The end of our relationship happened two weeks ago but I have a unique issue or so I think. See... I was planning on moving over to his country to be with him for the last eight months or so and had even visited numerous amounts of time and during this time... I discovered that I REALLY LIKED it. Now that the relationship is over I am still left with this lingering thought of moving there but I am unsure now. No it's not that I am unsure if I still want to be there, I do, but I am unsure how it would look or how others would think I guess.

 

The thing is... our breakup was semi-bad, I found out he had been starting up with a new girl the last month and when I called him on it... instead of admitting to things, he decided to tell me that he loved me but it wasn't the same love that equated a forever type of thing (marriage, etc). I suppose that has something to do with him getting his emotional needs fufilled by this other woman. It perplexes me that he's never met her but has chosen to jump into something with her right away. Our relationship didn't begin long distance but had been that way for the last eight months. He's doing everything he did with her that he did with me, so it screams rebound still... he broke up with me once everything was out in the open. Wished me luck in my future and that was that. After the drama of THAT was over, lasted about a month, I sent him a email letting him know I supported his decision and if he didn't feel I was the one for him... he should just follow his heart. We both are 29/33 btw.

 

So... fast forward to now. I am STILL feeling the desire to move to his country, his city. There are things there that I found I really liked and I have a few good friends there as well. I had grown tired of my own city and was looking forward to just living out of the country for awhile but now I'm not sure.

 

Would it be weird if I still moved there? I am not looking to follow him or hang out with him while there (I am unsure I want him back because as he did say he had no in love feelings for me after two years, Id be wasting my time) , though I think at some point I should tell him that I either have moved to his city or am planning on moving to it.

 

What do you think? Should I take the plunge and continue with my plan or should I evacuate the whole thing and think of a plan b?

 

I really did fall in love with the city and the people AND the beaches... but then there's that whole relationship breakup thing that's gotten in the way.

[CodenameD]

When you really want to move on nothing can stop you. Not broken relationships, not ex-boyfriends. It's your desire to do so and that's what will lead you through.

 

You going there has nothing to do with your relationship with your ex guy. You are going there because you fell in love with the place. There is nothing to complain against that. And even if he DOES say anything like you are trying to get back to him, it's not true anyways so you don't need to care.

 

Only thing that might stand as an obstacle is that memories of you and him shared together there. It might remind you of it which you might want to escape from. But then again, new things happen in our lives everyday don't they? You can expect a whole new story to unfold from the point you move there, meet new people and give a fresh start. It's like a new episode in your life which will definitely help you forget the past someday.

 

When you really want to do something, you just gotta do it. That's what I believe. I wish you good luck in moving on!

[luxx]

Wow thanks for that!

 

You know it's strange, I've been back in my city for three months now and I just grown tired of it and when I'm in that city I feel fresh, new, alive. There are things that I'd like to do there - a few courses I'd like to take that would keep me busy and offer me a social life as well. I've a few months to actually really get things together but two of my girlfriends who are from there/live there are eager to have me and very encouraging.

 

I guess the only other question I have is... should I mention it to him? And if so... should I wait until I'm settled OR do it before? Or say nothing, it's none of his business. I don't want him to think I'm stalking him though so that's why I wanted to mention it though I guess it could be seen that way anyways. hmmm.

[lizziem]

Hey luxx,

 

As long as you can remain independent there, there's nothing stopping you from moving =). It's not about anyone else, but just ensure that you will be alright with this.

 

I am having the same situation with you, I just broke up with my ex but had already made plans to be there (there being the best place for my career), so I'm going ahead with the plan =).

 

Overall, you can do it, but just ensure that first and foremost you need to take care of your heart =). That being said, enjoy your move, and feel free to PM me. =) It'll be nice to have someone to talk to once we move so that we can relate to each other our experiences! =)

 

Edit: You have prerogative to tell him or not to tell him. Just follow your guts. If he is the type to blow up a small thing like you moving there, perhaps it would be better for him to be given a heads up. But it is not his right so it is entirely up to you. =)

Edited April 28, 2010 by lizziem

[Deeblondie82]

Well adleast you found Love.. For a city that caught your attention... I would go and be where you love being. I mean why live in a place you feel "blah" in. Go make more friendships and meet a new love of your own. Its a great experence for you...