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"It's not you -- It's me"

shadowplay

By shadowplay
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shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

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Here's a vent.

 

I can't believe there are people who actually use this line and expect the person they're dumping to accept it.

 

The guy who recently dumped me fed me this line, along with saying he's still in love with me and thinks I'm perfect for him but wants to be with other people. :laugh::lmao:

 

Does anyone else find this kind of shiat infuriating? :mad:

 

There's one thing I hate, and it's being BSed. I know most people would prefer honesty over empty lines when their heart is being broken. Yeah, it hurts to be told you're not what they want, but it hurts more to be told it's nothing about you and then watch them date other people.

 

Have some balls.

espec10001 Established Member

espec10001

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I don't think it's a bad line. Maybe it really is just him. Maybe you are a good person and he needs to work out his own issues.

northstar1 Established Member

northstar1

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Here's a vent.

 

I can't believe there are people who actually use this line and expect the person they're dumping to accept it.

 

The guy who recently dumped me fed me this line, along with saying he's still in love with me and thinks I'm perfect for him but wants to be with other people. :laugh::lmao:

 

Does anyone else find this kind of shiat infuriating? :mad:

 

There's one thing I hate, and it's being BSed. I know most people would prefer honesty over empty lines when their heart is being broken. Yeah, it hurts to be told you're not what they want, but it hurts more to be told it's nothing about you and then watch them date other people.

 

Have some balls.

 

yes, it's a pansy assed way of trying to get out easily. if someone told me that i'd definitely have a problem keeping a straight faced.

 

it didn't work for constanza did it.

janie423 Established Member

janie423

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I got that line in ninth grade and I found it to be BS even back then. Thinking back on all my breakups, the men I have the most respect for were the ones who came out with their true feelings about why the relationship was over. To me, that is very liberating and allows a person to move forward. I think people who give wishy washy excuses for the breakup really have no guts and are not helping the dumpee move forward. It really is a selfish move on their part not to disclose their true feelings. Most people can handle the truth, and it is arrogant to assume that someone needs BS because they will be so heartbroken. This type of dumper needs to get over himself/herself . . .

123BeachFan Established Member

123BeachFan

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It's not you, it's me = It's not you, it's me not being into you.

 

Let's still be friends = I want an open door, so I can walk back into your life if I change my mind later

 

I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now = I don't want a serious relationship with YOU.

 

We can still see each other = I'm happy to downgrade you to a FWB if you're willing.

 

You're too good for me = I don't want to feel like the scumbag I really am, when I've been stringing you on all along

northstar1 Established Member

northstar1

Posted
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It's not you, it's me = It's not you, it's me not being into you.

 

Let's still be friends = I want an open door, so I can walk back into your life if I change my mind later

 

I'm just not ready for a serious relationship right now = I don't want a serious relationship with YOU.

 

We can still see each other = I'm happy to downgrade you to a FWB if you're willing.

 

You're too good for me = I don't want to feel like the scumbag I really am, when I've been stringing you on all along

 

Maybe we should take a break = I'm pretty much done with this relationship, but am not quite ready to end it for good, but soon!

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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I'll always love you = from afar, as I sleep with other people.

phineas Established Member

phineas

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I need space = if it doesn't work out with the other person i'll give you a call.

pandagirl Established Member

pandagirl

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This is a stupid line, and so cliched, that it's painful that someone would actually use it in breaking up with someone.

 

But, honestly, all of our actions? It's always about us, and not the other person, so there is truth in the statement -- as lame as it may be.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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At the point where someone clearly states their incompatibility, regardless of the 'true' reasons, what a refreshing breath of fresh air it is to not wonder about it. It is them, and they're incompatible. Next :)

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shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

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Can we stay friends? = I don't want to have to go through the discomfort of facing the consequences of my decision and losing you completely. I'm lonely, and I'd like your company and the possibility of screwing you when I feel like it until something better comes along. K?

 

This is hard for me too = I've felt just enough mild discomfort so I can delude you and me into believing I'm not a heartless SOB.

Edited by shadowplay
carhill Established Member

carhill

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'No'

 

'I don't care'

 

Lovin' your vent, SP :)

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shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

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'No'

 

'I don't care'

 

Lovin' your vent, SP :)

 

Ha, thanks. :)

ImaManDammit Established Member

ImaManDammit

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Hey!

 

Some of us actually use that line and mean it.:o

 

I mean, I broke up with a woman because she was Bi and was totally into the Gay and Lesbian scene.

 

There's nothing wrong with that, at all. *I* was just uncomfortable and couldn't get a sense of security from the relationship, and without security I couldn't build trust and without trust, there is no relationship.

 

This was my issue 100%, so in this case it was a legimate "it's not you, its me."

ReadyforLove Established Member

ReadyforLove

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At the point where someone clearly states their incompatibility, regardless of the 'true' reasons, what a refreshing breath of fresh air it is to not wonder about it. It is them, and they're incompatible. Next :)

 

 

I completely agree with you, Carhill!!! Good post :)

Stockalone Established Member

Stockalone

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"It's not you -- It's me"

 

I do believe that it is possible to say that and actually mean it.

 

However, I'd never expect anyone to believe that it isn't just utter BS.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I think your ex did mean it, Shadow.

 

It's nothing inherently about you necessarily, it's just that HE doesn't want to be with you.

SadandConfusedWA Established Member

SadandConfusedWA

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I used this line and meant it. I have issues with being unable to build intimacy and putting walls up so that I am not able to connect with anyone. So a year or so ago, I went on 5 dates with a guy, haven't been able to open up at all and ended it with "It's not you, it's me". And it was the truth.

 

But in about 99% of the cases I think it is BS.

Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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I think he's onto something! It isn't you, it is him: he's still young and immature and can't live up to what you two were building, so he's out!

 

I know it sounds like bs, but in this case, I understand what he's trying to say. Either way though, he's a coward. I understand him to be saying that a real, serious relationship was just too much for him.

 

Your job is to run full speed ahead in the other direction.

SomewhatExperienced Established Member

SomewhatExperienced

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Yeah, I think a lot of the time people do mean it. Relationships often come to an end because one of the members simply has to move on, although still cares for the other. In this case it really is them.

 

 

Hey, you can't always expect that you're going to be the be all and end all for every boyfriend/girlfriend you have.

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shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

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I think your ex did mean it, Shadow.

 

It's nothing inherently about you necessarily, it's just that HE doesn't want to be with you.

 

Isn't that the same thing?

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Isn't that the same thing?

 

It's a matter of perspective.

 

Tell yourself you're a round peg, and that he's decided he wants a square peg. Is there anything wrong with being a round peg? No. So who's "fault" is it that he wants a square peg? His.

 

:)

 

You can easily tell yourself, "So he doesn't want a beautiful, sweet, senstive, incredibly intelligent, devoted girlfriend? Okay, well that's all on him then."

 

Because you know what? It's true.

 

Much different than, "So he doesnt want me as his girlfriend."

 

Technically, they may mean the same thing... BUT it's all a matter of perspective.

 

You just gotta change yours, Shadow.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Yeah, it hurts to be told you're not what they want, but it hurts more to be told it's nothing about you and then watch them date other people.

i usually don't tell them anything, i just split. its easier for everyone

123BeachFan Established Member

123BeachFan

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i usually don't tell them anything, i just split. its easier for everyone

 

Splitting is easier for YOU. It's not easier for the other person.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Posted
Splitting is easier for YOU. It's not easier for the other person.

well yea thats what i meant

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