bolase Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I just want to let it out here, had lunch with my ex today at his suggestion, as he emailed saying his parents are separating and he realises that what i said to him about relationships being all we have when other stuff falls away, was true. He has a girlfriend but wanted to talk about things with me. We live in the same town, been broken up about 9 months after 1.5yrs together. He got together with a girl friend of mine 3 weeks after we broke up, which shattered me. Theyre still together. I was overseas at the time. I've met some special guys who have affected me since him, am now starting to date someone, and just had a messy thing with my flatmate end. some bad experiences, some great. I have respected his new relationship enough not to be in contact with him, i figure id only hurt both of us and dont want to push into his life as much as I want him to stay out of mine which has allowed me to heal properly. Today, he said he doesnt feel like he deserves to be my friend, and wishes he could talk to me, but treated me terribly and still doesn't know why we broke up, it was such a haze, etc. I told him he can't carry his guilt or it will affect his current relaty. We didnt talk about her. It wasn't sad, was kind of great, polite but honest, though we both shed tears there in the cafe. I cried on the way home just feeling emotions rising to the surface, and even though I'm over it and am not attracted to him, I feel SO EMOTIONAL. just had to shout that. Similar meetings anyone..?
EthanH Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 what is it today? some kind of emo-gas in the air? I started crying on reading this. I think it is because I know, I KNOW, if i meet my ex in the future, we will both be like this. She IS (still I wish she wasn't) my best friend (a best friend who gives up on your relationship is the worst thing in the world ever.)... and there is so much emotion there... I was her first love, and I truly believe she loved me, probably still does... but the break-up just avalanched, I don't think when it happened, either of us wanted it to end for good, but things just happened from both sides that has led to this ending. I miss her every day. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think your feelings are normal... i mean, the last time you saw him, the last time you were with him, you were still wanting to be with him... you cannot be with someone you had such feelings for and still not have the link to him, even though you are over him. The emotion is still there, the pain etc etc, I know I'm always going to wish that I could have spent some time with her on a deserted beach somewhere... I will always wish that... it was the dream I always wanted, (I had the dream in reality more than a few times)... and I don't think I will ever get over that...
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