It's over now.

[Leia]

It was over a couple of weeks ago.

 

It came to a point where he hit me, called me names and put me down endlessly.

 

And then, had the ****ing balls to call me up and asked how I was doing.

 

A couple of days before we broke up, he pushed me cos I didn't want to have sex and then accused me of having sex with someone else

 

That would be the last time I will date a man from that part of the world! As much as this is hard for me to say, I should have listened to my sister!

[Pyro]

Are you serious? What a lowlife POS

 

He never deserved to even talk to you.

 

So glad that you are OK.

[D-Lish]

Hi L.

 

Sorry you are going through this... Good for you for ending it. Pyro is right, he doesn't deserve to do your dishes.

 

What part of the world is he from? I assume from a culture where women aren't considered worthy of equality.

 

What a douche. Hope you're doing okay.

[Leia]

Yea. I put up with him for a month or so. The putting down part. He didn't hit me then.

 

He loved to raise his voice and I kept telling him, I'm not a child for him to raise his voice at. He asked if I'd rather have him hit me or raise his voice at me.

 

I should have taken that as a huge red flag.

 

Thanks, P. I'm glad I didn't let it go any further.

[D-Lish]

Yea. I put up with him for a month or so. The putting down part. He didn't hit me then.

 

He loved to raise his voice and I kept telling him, I'm not a child for him to raise his voice at. He asked if I'd rather have him hit me or raise his voice at me.

 

I should have taken that as a huge red flag.

 

Thanks, P. I'm glad I didn't let it go any further.

 

Me too, as I said- he's a douche-bag and you deserve better, way better.

[Pyro]

You deserve so much better than that and if that is how he is then I hope he ends up alone and miserable.

 

I'm not a violent person but someone like that deserves to have his arse handed to him.

[sweetjasmine]

Yea. I put up with him for a month or so. The putting down part. He didn't hit me then.

 

He loved to raise his voice and I kept telling him, I'm not a child for him to raise his voice at. He asked if I'd rather have him hit me or raise his voice at me.

 

I should have taken that as a huge red flag.

 

Thanks, P. I'm glad I didn't let it go any further.

 

Wow. And he hit you?

 

I'm so sorry, Leia. You deserve so much better. What a piece of crap that guy is.

[Leia]

Hi L.

 

Sorry you are going through this... Good for you for ending it. Pyro is right, he doesn't deserve to do your dishes.

 

What part of the world is he from? I assume from a culture where women aren't considered worthy of equality.

 

What a douche. Hope you're doing okay.

 

Hi D.

 

He didn't even deserve to do me!

 

Middle East. I picked up a book by Jean Sasson, Princess. Aren't I glad I dodged this bullet! I would have gone to hell way before the world actually ended.

 

I feel so stupid. I know I got out of it early but I actually loved this guy. I gave my all, more than I thought I could.

 

He lost his grandfather recently due to an explosion back in his country, I felt sorry for him cos he was having a hard time. He couldn't be there for his mother bla bla bla. Fine. Then a couple of days later, he called me to say that he felt that all these bad things happening to him is cos of me . It's so much easier to put the blame of someone else, I guess.

[Pyro]

He lost his grandfather recently due to an explosion back in his country, I felt sorry for him cos he was having a hard time. He couldn't be there for his mother bla bla bla. Fine. Then a couple of days later, he called me to say that he felt that all these bad things happening to him is cos of me . It's so much easier to put the blame of someone else, I guess.

 

wow you dated a 12 year old?

[D-Lish]

Like he thought that bombs in his home country were the result of him dating you??? Like it had some sort of religious implications? OMG, you've dodged a bullet. Eff him, he's worthless for the way he treated you L.

[Leia]

You deserve so much better than that and if that is how he is then I hope he ends up alone and miserable.

 

I'm not a violent person but someone like that deserves to have his arse handed to him.

 

You know what, I feel the same way too. He deserved to have his ass kicked hard! He had the nerve to tell me that my bro should get his ass kicked for telling his friends off. If they didn't make such a racket at 2 in the bloody morning, my bro wouldn't have told them off! He said my bro was lucky he [ex] was not there .

 

Wow. And he hit you?

 

I'm so sorry, Leia. You deserve so much better. What a piece of crap that guy is.

 

Slapped me across my face 3 times. Grabbed my wrist so hard, it went blue black for days. That was when I said no to sex with him.

 

Thanks, sweetjasmine. I deserve better but I am really putting dating on the hold for now.

 

wow you dated a 12 year old?

 

I might as well ...

[D-Lish]

Slapped me across my face 3 times. Grabbed my wrist so hard, it went blue black for days. That was when I said no to sex with him.

 

 

Wow L....Just wow. I am really truly sorry this has been going on.

 

Put me in a room alone with him for 15min, with a baseball bat.

[USMCHokie]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear this Leia...but it seems like it's for the best...because you deserve the best...

 

I will join D-Lish in assembling this baseball bat task force...

[Hot Carl]

I understand you're disappointed, Leia, but I doubt you'll be down for long. There are total jerks everywhere. It's not just where he's from. But there are also really good guys in the world. With all you have going for you, you have a great chance of finding one.

 

Try not to let this one affect you too much. It's a good sign that you stood your ground with him and now he's history. A lot of women can't do that.

[Leia]

I know, guys. He's an ass.

 

From the day it ended, I buried myself with work and studies. I blocked him out completely. But yesterday, everything came back to me in a rush. Call it an emotional breakdown or whatever.

 

It's hard for him to accept people's opinion especially mine. Whenever I gave him one, he dismissed it. The only time I 'won' an argument was when his best friend was around cos his best friend saw my point [anyone in their right mind would!]. He's a typical Middle Eastern man. Sorry if I offended anyone with that comment but really, he thinks women are stupid ... oh wait, unless those women are from his country then no, they are not stupid

 

I don't speak Arabic and once, he said that by the time I speak the language, he would be six feet underground. When I told him I have started reading Quran, he asked me "why? you're going to hell anyway for having pre-marital sex" Oh so only the saint can read the Quran? Really???

 

After every verbal abuse, he would apologize. It came to a point where his apologies meant NIL to me.

 

Every bit he hurt me is coming back to me. I hate myself for letting him do what he did. God, was I that weak?! What the **** happened to me to have made me become so bloody weak??

 

Thanks D and Hokie. You guys can join in the fun with my friends to bash him up.

 

I understand you're disappointed, Leia, but I doubt you'll be down for long. There are total jerks everywhere. It's not just where he's from. But there are also really good guys in the world. With all you have going for you, you have a great chance of finding one.

 

Try not to let this one affect you too much. It's a good sign that you stood your ground with him and now he's history. A lot of women can't do that.

 

Thanks, Hot Carl. I'm not going to be bothered for the time being. Dating, that is.

[just1guy]

Wow, verbal or physical abuse is such f'n ahole thing to do, regardless of the situation. It's good to see that you're out of that before it got any worse.

[Green]

Maybe a robot you build in the future is traveling back in time to get him...

[sweetjasmine]

Slapped me across my face 3 times. Grabbed my wrist so hard, it went blue black for days. That was when I said no to sex with him.

 

Ugh! That's infuriating.

 

It's hard for him to accept people's opinion especially mine. Whenever I gave him one, he dismissed it. The only time I 'won' an argument was when his best friend was around cos his best friend saw my point [anyone in their right mind would!]. He's a typical Middle Eastern man. Sorry if I offended anyone with that comment but really, he thinks women are stupid ... oh wait, unless those women are from his country then no, they are not stupid

 

I don't speak Arabic and once, he said that by the time I speak the language, he would be six feet underground. When I told him I have started reading Quran, he asked me "why? you're going to hell anyway for having pre-marital sex" Oh so only the saint can read the Quran? Really???

 

Wow. You're absolutely right that it's verbally abusive. And extremely disrespectful, condescending, and degrading. Not to mention the double standards: it's okay for him to have pre-marital sex and then go study the Quran, but you're going to hell, you harlot.

 

Every bit he hurt me is coming back to me. I hate myself for letting him do what he did. God, was I that weak?! What the **** happened to me to have made me become so bloody weak?

 

Don't beat yourself up over that. Sometimes we're blinded by the good things and work hard to rationalize and dismiss the bad things. If he had never apologized for anything, maybe you would've felt differently and ended it sooner. But it's not exactly difficult to be pulled back in by someone who sounds genuinely remorseful.

 

It's a good thing you ended it. I'm sure he would've gotten worse over time, and he really showed you his true colors.

[JustJoe]

Leia, only a coward hits a woman. I'm so sorry that you have had to endure such vile behavior. I have seen this type of thing too often in Iraq and Afghanistan, where women are treated like brood cattle, instead of intelligent human beings. You deserve a man who realizes your quality and character. I have known and have great respect for several Muslim Imams, and they almost universally, deplore disrespect to women. It's not an Islamic problem, it's a middle

eastern cultural problem.

[Citizen Erased]

I'm so sorry sweetie. You mentioned he wasn't speaking to you respectfully but never imagined he'd so this.

 

here for you as always.

[SadKitty78]

As someone in the legal field, I feel the need to make aware to you, legal protections that are in place should you need it. If he harasses you or threatens you in any matter, do not hesitate to file a restraining order. A man who is physically (and verbally/emotionally) abusive towards a woman is also probably not easy to get away from. He will plead and beg for you to get back with him, and when you refuse, he may get angry. So know that the law is there to protect you.

 

I'm not sure where you're located, but there are many non profit organizations that work primarily with battered women that you can contact for resources, from shelters to counseling and therapy to legal issues, etc.

 

Stay strong! And commend yourself for getting out of it. Many women don't have the strength to do so, at least not the first time. Whatever you do, know that you did NOTHING to deserve it, and please don't communicate with him further and please DON'T get back with him no matter how hard and convincingly he apologizes and pleads for you to get back with him. It's a vicious cycle and most abusers do this.

[Leia]

Ugh! That's infuriating.

 

Wow. You're absolutely right that it's verbally abusive. And extremely disrespectful, condescending, and degrading. Not to mention the double standards: it's okay for him to have pre-marital sex and then go study the Quran, but you're going to hell, you harlot.

 

Oh that was not all. He called me stupid a lot of times. Usually AFTER I have helped him with his work. I showed it to my supervisor cos he really did it in me. Made me think that I was really stupid cos what I did made sense to me and what do ya know? It made sense to my supervisor too! I guess he just wanted to make himself feel better and more superior to me.

 

There was one time I can't remember how this subject came up but he said I had inferiority complex. ****. I can't remember what it was

 

Don't beat yourself up over that. Sometimes we're blinded by the good things and work hard to rationalize and dismiss the bad things. If he had never apologized for anything, maybe you would've felt differently and ended it sooner. But it's not exactly difficult to be pulled back in by someone who sounds genuinely remorseful.

 

It's a good thing you ended it. I'm sure he would've gotten worse over time, and he really showed you his true colors.

You're right, sweetjasmine. But I wish his true colors came out way earlier or that my instincts worked much better. I can't believe this happened when I really gave my all and actually LOVED this dude. Such a shame.

 

Leia, only a coward hits a woman. I'm so sorry that you have had to endure such vile behavior. I have seen this type of thing too often in Iraq and Afghanistan, where women are treated like brood cattle, instead of intelligent human beings. You deserve a man who realizes your quality and character. I have known and have great respect for several Muslim Imams, and they almost universally, deplore disrespect to women. It's not an Islamic problem, it's a middle

eastern cultural problem.

 

See you get it. Some people think it's an Islamic problem but it's the cultural side of it. It pisses me off how Middle Eastern people twist what's in the Quran, twist it in such a way that suits them, ya know?

 

One more incident ~ we were having coffee at Austin Chase [the Caramel frap was really good!] and we started talking about the noise his friends made. So I said that the problem with you guys is that you don't listen to people. The thing is, his friends came over to my bro's place and apologized for the racket they made but ex claimed they did not [just cos he wanted to prove a point]. I knew they apologized cos I was there when they came over . So after I said that they didn't listen to people [i actually meant him], he then raised his voice and said "You know what? Your PEOPLE [as in Malaysians] are bunch of f***ers!!"

 

I said if so, why the f*** are you going out with me then? He told me to not utter the four letter word to him. Whatever. Then he went on to say that "Don't forget that MY people teach you Islam and you guys take our culture and religion!! Get that in your head! Be grateful of that!"

 

Seriously? Are you ****ing serious?!?! YOUR PEOPLE TEACH US ISLAM?!?!

 

The only reason why Allah sent Prophet Muhammad to Saudi Arabia in the first place is becos of how bloody IGNORANT you guys were and still are! Wow. It took all in my entire body to stop me from punching him in the face. I wanted to tell him to get the **** out of MY country since we are all a bunch of ****ers!

 

After that I told him that his people are ignorant, he threatened to make a scene in Austin Chase. Oh wow.

 

I'm so sorry sweetie. You mentioned he wasn't speaking to you respectfully but never imagined he'd so this.

 

here for you as always.

 

It's ok. I didn't know he would pull all this on me too.

 

Thanks CE

 

And sorry guys, it's been weeks and I really needed to let this all out.

[Citizen Erased]

No need to be sorry, what he did is disgraceful.

[Els]

I

I don't speak Arabic and once, he said that by the time I speak the language, he would be six feet underground. When I told him I have started reading Quran, he asked me "why? you're going to hell anyway for having pre-marital sex" Oh so only the saint can read the Quran? Really???

 

Interesting. First time I've heard that only the woman goes to hell for having pre-marital sex.

 

Leia, I'm so so glad for you that you got out. I honestly don't think that ALL middle eastern men are like that, but he's certainly a prime example of extremist Taliban. The saddest thing is that quite a significant number of Malaysian men are this way as well.

 

Keep strong, I'm sure your life will be better without this jackass in it.

[Leia]

Interesting. First time I've heard that only the woman goes to hell for having pre-marital sex.

 

Leia, I'm so so glad for you that you got out. I honestly don't think that ALL middle eastern men are like that, but he's certainly a prime example of extremist Taliban. The saddest thing is that quite a significant number of Malaysian men are this way as well.

 

Keep strong, I'm sure your life will be better without this jackass in it.

 

Not really. He said in such a way that since we both did it, we are going to hell so what's the point of praying and reading the Quran. Like I said, ignorant. One of the ways of repenting [if that's what you want to do] is to pray and ask for forgiveness. Then followed by reading the Quran. I started reading cos I want a better understanding of it, which he fails to see. Reason being cos he has read it several times and pretty much knows it by heart.