red fox Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I just would like some advice on my position. I am 25, male, single and recently moved into a shared house with 3 girls and 2 other guys. I really like the house and my housemates and we all have a good time. I am starting to develop a crush one of the girls. She is an exchange student studying in my city for a few semesters, probably until September. We talk a lot, share many interests, and generally get along well. I think she likes me too; soon after I moved in she dumped her boyfriend and made sure I knew. I'm wondering if it's a good idea to pursue a relationship with her. I'm afraid to ask her out because if she says no, things could get awkward around the house. Also if things get going, would we tell the housemates? I'm also afraid to start anything serious because she will be moving back to her country on the other side of the world sooner or later. Right now I am leaning towards the idea of just manning up and asking her out and letting the details iron themselves out later. But I could use some advice before I do that.
norajane Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 You are so asking for trouble. I wouldn't go there, but I'm sure you will. Don't hide it from the housemates. You won't be able to, anyway, so just be open about it. And when you two get in a fight, or break up, make sure you have somewhere else to stay until September because it will be freaking hell in that house, especially if she starts dating other guys.
starwolf242 Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I once shared a house with 3 gay men and boy did that turn into one crazy love triangle! I was sort of aware of what was going on but was totally staying out of it but it was hell in a teacup when they were all having their domestics. My advice, ask her out, if she says yes, go for a date, if you still really like each other after the date talk to your other housemates and see if they are ok with the prospect of living with a couple. To be fair none of them entered a house knowing there would be a couple living there and it is massively unfair to conduct a relationship in their home, under their noses in secret. If they say they are uncomfortable with the idea then say you understand and will try your best not to let anything happen or if you have a really great feeling about this relationship find somewhere else to live in order to give the relationship a chance and not lose the friends you are now living with. Personally i wold find it too much pressure to be living with someone i was dating if a) it was short term and b) we'd only known each other 5 mins! But seriously, living with a couple is hardwork and will affect every single person in that house. Trust me!
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