DenverBachelor Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 The restraining order is officially nullified as of a week ago. I am a free man so to speak with all the rights and privileges of such. It has now been over a half a year since the breakup and I can honestly say that all those things at the beginning that tore my heart in half are now the things that have made it a lot stronger. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what drew me towards her and my own motivations for getting into the relationship. I figured out a lot of the mistakes made on both sides and realized that, in the end, we're both only human. Animosity isn't productive -- but I juggled it for so long during the past six months. I've found peace within myself and with the circumstances of the breakup. Pointing a finger at someone else is futile and besides, when you point a finger at someone, three are pointed right back at you. I can honestly look back at the relationship and see it for what it was without any ulterior emotions welling up inside of me to distort the past. It was what it was -- a long relationship with a best friend. Taking all the good and all the bad times, all the laughter and all the tears and all the fighting and all the cuddling and reassurances -- it was what it was. It was just a learning experience -- a growing experience for the soul (for both of us, really). Even after nuking Japan, the United States and Japan eventually learned to move on but never forget. Salted Earth eventually will run clean again and bridges burned and destroyed lay way for bigger and better ones in the future -- even if they lead to entirely new places. No matter how earth shattering the experiences, the Earth itself keeps on spinning and keeps on orbiting the sun. The most basic of things continue to march forward into the future. Some things always change. Some things seldom change. But everything does change. Everything will change. It is the way of being a mortal soul in a seemingly eternal world. Too many roads to explore and too little time to go down them all. But entirely too little time to spend so much time on the side of one road wondering, "why?"
Ilovecake Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I don't know man. A restraining order is pretty serious business, I will not ask what you did, none of my business but the fact that you are celebrating it being nullified and still writing rants on the internet about your ex is a big red flag that there is still some serious fixation left there. Just an observation.
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 (edited) Ilovecake, I hear what you're saying. But if I could suggest, have a look at DB's previous threads though. His EX-wife is a psycho, whereas DB is simply the kind of guy who posts like he's writing a diary. I guess this is just a brand new 'Dear diary' page. Hey, DB. Nice to have you back. How's things, Buddy? (Apart from the 'Dear Diary' entry above, that is....! ) Edited April 28, 2010 by TaraMaiden correction - wife to Ex-wife
Author DenverBachelor Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 I don't know man. A restraining order is pretty serious business, I will not ask what you did, none of my business but the fact that you are celebrating it being nullified and still writing rants on the internet about your ex is a big red flag that there is still some serious fixation left there. Just an observation. I won't rehash what lead up to it again, but basically the restraining order was unwarranted and she had made up lies in her accusations. Other than that, I think you're reading a little too much into my post. It is a post about moving on, not living in the past. Try reading it again.
Ilovecake Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Ilovecake, I hear what you're saying. But if I could suggest, have a look at DB's previous threads though. His EX-wife is a psycho, whereas DB is simply the kind of guy who posts like he's writing a diary. I guess this is just a brand new 'Dear diary' page. Hey, DB. Nice to have you back. How's things, Buddy? (Apart from the 'Dear Diary' entry above, that is....! ) I get that DB is a pretty level headed guy. I've seen the advice he's given people on here. Like I said none of my business what happened and I hope that he's cool but it just seems like the post had a lot of though put into it which means his ex still holds a lot of significance. I was just wondering if maybe he doesn't realize that and might be putting his heeling process in jeopardy. I was thrown by the "I'm a free man" comment mostly because lifting the order only means the only freedom he's obtained is to contact the ex.
carhill Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Verbalizing acceptance of the past is IMO a different dynamic than living in the past. It's a process. Glad to hear things worked out DB. Great foundation for a positive move forward. Good luck
donnamaybe Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 I was thrown by the "I'm a free man" comment mostly because lifting the order only means the only freedom he's obtained is to contact the ex. Not true. He's now free to go where he wants when he wants without worrying that she might be shopping there first; having a beer there first, etc.
Art_Critic Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 DB.. Good Luck to you in your new life without all the drama from her.. You deserve a break
Author DenverBachelor Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Ok cool - time to get her back man! LOL!!! Thanks for the good laugh!
Author DenverBachelor Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Not true. He's now free to go where he wants when he wants without worrying that she might be shopping there first; having a beer there first, etc. This is exactly right. It isn't about the freedom to contact her since I have no desire at all to do so. She doesn't play into my life anymore. But what Donna said is spot on -- you're always a bit afraid the ex will walk into a bar, department store, etc. and then suddenly you have to say, "check please!" and hustle out of there. It's like Duck Duck Goose except your always the Goose walking around town.
Author DenverBachelor Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 DB.. Good Luck to you in your new life without all the drama from her.. You deserve a break Thanks! I appreciate that.
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