Meet up as friends but she wants to kiss?

[Fancy Her So Much]

Right this is going to be a long one so bear with me, first post too so I'm just looking from some helpful advice. I know this is really long but it took me 25 minutes to type so please read it lol.

 

Met this girl about 7 months ago, she was a fresher at university, an international student, unlike myself. I got her number on a night out.

 

We sorted a date, just a few drinks at a bar. We got on unbelievably well, I didnt try anything on though. We ended up sorting out another date because we got on so well, this time just a quick drink followed by the cinema. After the cinema she kept saying "I'm really cold" even though she had a jacket in her bag and.. well, it wasnt cold. Took this as a hint that she at least wanted a hug if not a kiss but I bottled it admittedly. Anyway, she cancels next time we were gonna meet up and instead says she was going out with friends but I was welcome to come along (already going tits up), but on the night out after some dutch courage we end up kissing, and go back to hers to fool about a bit (no sex due to 'that' time of the month).

 

After that it all went downhill really. A few days after cancelling another date to go out with friends, (I happened to see her in the same club that night by coincidence) she says mid text-conversation (we did speak on the phone sometimes too) something along the lines of "sorry for being a pussy and doing this by text but I realised last night that I only see you as a friend"... gutted. I knew immediately it was my fault, I ended up texting or talking to her too much after the 3rd time we met, obviously scared her off, although it took me a while to realise that, especially when I thought it was going so well.

 

So I said I'd stay friends if that is what she wanted (I wanted more) and we did organise to meet up a few times but if it wasn't me having university get in the way among other things then it would be her who couldnt make it. Either way, after easter I was going to a night out at the residences she lives at, which she had mentioned to me to come, but it turned out I knew lots of friends that were going anyway. It's only a small place so she came and met me and we talked a bit, not about the past just general chit chat (bare in mind this is 7 months later) we didnt talk much though, we ended up splitting up and didnt see each other the whole night after that. But she told me late that morning that she came to look for me but I was a bit busy with another girl (who I ended up going back with).

 

Anyway, the morning after I text her (not on phone-to-phone speaking terms anymore) saying something along the lines of sorry didn't get to speak to you much last night I was a bit busy. She said "no worries, we will have to meet soon", So we organised a drink for Saturday night (24th April). She made sure she told me by text before hand that it was just as friends. Fair enough.

 

Anyway, the night comes along and she is dressed better then I have ever seen her dress, she has made a REAL effort, in my opinion anyway. So we go to a bit of an older bar away from the students, quiter atmosphere and such. We were gonna have a few and go to the cinema but we decided against the cinema in the end.

 

Anyway, we are talking and she is getting quite drunk (We were doing rounds, like mates do, but she insisted on getting more rounds then me) but she says a couple of times just to re-confirm that this was JUST AS MATES. She tells me about a guy she is dating who wants to be exclusive with her, and I act like I don't care, even though 7 months later I'm still head over heels lusting after her. She even brings up were I went wrong when dating her, as long as I didnt mind hearing it, and pretty much summed up were I knew I had gone wrong anyway. This talk is all thrown in the middle of general chitter chatter, and we were getting along well regardless. We talked about when we first met, and our first dates and stuff. The she says a couple of times that she really wants to kiss me... okay, thought this was as mates? I just laughed it off the first couple of times. She asks if I could walk her home, which I oblige to (why she didnt get a taxi I dunno coz its at least 20 mins in the opposite direction of my house). But on the way home she says it again... "I want to kiss you but I don't know", so I was like "well, what is it? You do or you don't?" ... we kissed at that point. Got to her house, there was no invite up, we both agree it was fun and such.

 

When I get home she has tagged me in her facebook status saying "had a great fun random night with ******** <me. Bearing in mind she is might be exclusive with this guy (not totally sure). In the morning though, she deletes it off her page as if she regretted putting it up there. She also uploaded a couple of pictures of us from that night but only tagged me, so I tagged her but at least she didn't remove them. (probably looking too much into that)

 

OH just remembered something else she said during the night. She said she likes guys playing hard to get (giving me tips?) and that she would liked to have had casual sex with me (now? or back 7 months ago?), and that on the night I went back to hers 7 months ago she would have had sex if it wasn't that time of the month. (I've only been laid once, the girl I went back with the other day, we didnt end up having sex, GOD KNOWS WHY).

 

Another thing on the night we somehow got talking about our sexual partners and ex-BF/GF's, something I had purposely not spoke about when we were dating. She is 2 years older then me at 21 and has had like 6 sexual partners. I told her I had only had sex once before I met her, she asked how many since and I said 4. That is a lie by the way. I told her I didnt tell her about my lack of experience when dating her because it has put people off in the past, and she said that it would have put her off too because she doesn't really want to have to teach me. But still seems really interested on the way home and gets off with me? Hmmm...

 

I haven't spoke to her at all since Saturday, trying to play it cool? (<I know I'm not playing it cool to you guys, I'm insanely obsessed with her, probably the total opposite of cool, but I'm trying to play it cool to her.) I don't fancy her as much as I did back 7 months ago but seeing her the other day and some decent pictures I had with her has just brought it all flooding back.

 

So I don't really know what I am asking after all this. I think basically:

 

- Is she interested in me again?

- What about this other guy?

- What should I do now? Is this a second chance?

- Did I make a cock-up kissing her?

- Did I make a cock-up telling her about relationships and sexual partners when she brought it up?

- Does she still only want to be friends and just testing me? Was the "I want to kiss you" thing, mentioned 3 times, just to see how long I could resist?

 

Please give detailed answers, and try not to be nasty, I am blatantly obsessed but I am also quite emotional for a guy, which also is not cool but heh.

 

Edit: The lie is about the 4 times I've had sex in the last 7 months. The true part of the bit of the statement is about only having sex once.

 

Thanks to anyone who can help and has took the time to read this and reply. Girls and guys answers both welcome.

Edited April 27, 2010 by Fancy Her So Much

[D-Lish]

She's playing games, plain and simple. The mixed messages, the insistence that she wants to be friends and then telling you she wants to make out with you... She's a game player.

 

Sounds like she gets off on the attention.

 

If all you want to do is have sex with her, just act dis-interested in her. That should do the trick.

[tami-chan]

She saw you with another girl and thought "wow THAT was quick, how can he get over me that fast-must reclaim power over him!". You are being played. Move on. But that's probably not what you want to hear.

[Fancy Her So Much]

She saw you with another girl and thought "wow THAT was quick, how can he get over me that fast-must reclaim power over him!". You are being played. Move on. But that's probably not what you want to hear.

 

I know. And no it's not what I want to hear. I think you are right though. But the thing is we REALLY do get on amazingly well. And I would hate to see that go to waste, but every time I see her I just turn to putty more or less. When I'm away its just absolute agony.

 

Is she not interested then? I would be up for something casual, it's not like it can turn out bad for me because I am head over heels anyway, so any rejection from her is gut wrenching.

 

Edit: I really need some questions answering, like, shall I wait for her to contact me? If she invites me out do I agree?

Is there any chance of this ever turning into something?

Edited April 27, 2010 by Fancy Her So Much

[Fancy Her So Much]

She's playing games, plain and simple. The mixed messages, the insistence that she wants to be friends and then telling you she wants to make out with you... She's a game player.

 

Sounds like she gets off on the attention.

 

If all you want to do is have sex with her, just act dis-interested in her. That should do the trick.

 

I'm pretty sure she used to like me. And she is acting like she used to back when we were dating. It just honestly felt like it was genuine, even though at the same time I did feel like she was playing games. But I'm wondering if I take her advice and just play it cool, take things slowly, then hopefully I may get another shot. Friends say you never get a second chance but I would like to think otherwise. I just wish this other guy she is screwing would f*** off, to put it bluntly.

[Green]

I just want to congratulate you on writing one of the longest posts I've ever seen. It really is inspiring... and yes she is playing games with you so even if she does like you do u want to deal with that?

[Fancy Her So Much]

I just want to congratulate you on writing one of the longest posts I've ever seen. It really is inspiring... and yes she is playing games with you so even if she does like you do u want to deal with that?

 

I suppose not, but she knows were I stand on that. I've told her before that if two people like each other why beat around the bush playing stupid games. I think I'm just gonna see how it goes over the next couple of weeks. Play it by ear.

[Fancy Her So Much]

bump*

 

Sorry for bumping this but I really need some more answers ^especially to the ones in the first post.

 

Thanks for anyone who has helped so far.

[phineas]

I suppose not, but she knows were I stand on that. I've told her before that if two people like each other why beat around the bush playing stupid games. I think I'm just gonna see how it goes over the next couple of weeks. Play it by ear.

 

And she is still playing games.

What does that tell you?

 

She doesn't want you.

 

Just get as far away from her as you can.

 

This is a train wreck waiting to happen.