if i was such a great bf, why am i alone?

[EthanH]

you don't think the way you said it was snide? Do you think it was helping? Good for you, I'm sure you wake up every morning and feel grateful for the fact you have arms and legs, and can breathe and can walk... it's all subjective isn't it... I just don't see what you feel is achieved by saying such things...although tbh, I don't think you have ever wanted to speak to me constructively...I'm sure you get a kick out of it, do you really think I want any of this? I posted on here because I'm a mess, the last thing I need is some smug 'point-scorer' such as yourself... I'm in a really bad way at the moment, just leave me alone...

[northstar1]

grayclouds and northstar,

 

I just feel that it isn't as simple as that, she does have that capacity, but I have tried to explain how i see it on here before, I don't think any of this was logical, the series of events has left us with a situation that neither of us really want, that neither of us wanted at the start when she first broke up with me (I think she regretted it as soon as she did it, she did a similar thing the week before, but the way the second time happened, she was stuck in her decision)... I feel like... and this really isn't just wishful thinking, the events happened from both sides, and it was like an avalanche which we both couldn't stop, and now neither of us cannot go back, and we are both stuck. We had a connection, every person I know saw it, which is unlike anything else i have ever experienced, everyone always went on about how close we looked, how good we were, and now that means nothing...[/QUOTE]

 

I am sure that is true mate.

 

Once the ball starts rolling, sometimes it doesn't stop until the damage has been done.

 

I could say the same thing about my ex. Her family and friends constantly said how happy she was, and how it was her first solid relationship etc etc etc.

 

However, the bottom line is, despite that, we're both in the same spot where our ex's aren't making a move to change things.

And thats why we have to deal and move forward.

[Chochobong]

Ethan,

 

If you continue to dwell on her in any fashion, you will continue to feel down and lonely. It is a vicious cycle. CUT THE CORD Get out with friends and family. Find worth in work, hobbies and everyday activities.

 

If you must, make it clear to her one more time that you want to work things out. Short and sweet, no pleading and begging. Then, disappear and initiate NC again. Anything less than her madly wanting you back and proving it is unacceptable.

 

Shes knows how to reach you if she changes her mind. And if that occurs, take it slow and dictate the pace so you do not get hurt again. Remember actions speak louder than words, and her actions will need to be consistent and judged over a good period of time. Do not accept her back in a period of weakness where she will fly away again and you will get hurt.

[believe]

Hey man. I went through the same old thing your going through. She told me I was PERFECT. All her friends and my friends said I was perfect bf material.

 

Yet there I was; alone. And all I can think about was if all these people including my ex are saying these things, then why am I in the position I am.

 

YOU MUST NOT LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE SAY. You can not base anything on what others SAY. You must look at the results of the current situation.

 

The REALITY IS your GF broke up with you. Does not matter the reason. Doesnt matter she said ur perfect. Doesnt matter what others think of you. SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU.

 

Once this realization hits u, all the other things go out the window. You must not dwell on the words of ur ex or others. Look at where you are currently at. Only then can u figure out where to go from here.