skyking Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 My boyfriend recently broke up with me. I would like to give him as much space as possible, deep down I want him to miss me and try things again. I have not contacted him for almost 3 weeks and he hasn't called me, he even neglected to wish me a happy birthday yesterday. He has a key to my apartment which stupidly I didn't take back last time I saw him. He also has some things of mine, things of importance. I would like him to miss me so I have refrained from calling texting or emailing him. I have some things of his that he said he wants back and odviously I want my key back. But I don't know what to do, if I should just wait for his call which may never come, or contact him myself. Any suggestions? He's passive agressive, he's given me the silent treatment and I don't want to do anything to push him away. I just hate the fact that his stuff is taking up my space, and he has my things!
Fouts Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Have a friend take care of it for you. It sounds like you're looking for an excuse to see him. Locks can be changed, it's not very expensive or hard to do.
northstar1 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 My boyfriend recently broke up with me. I would like to give him as much space as possible, deep down I want him to miss me and try things again. I have not contacted him for almost 3 weeks and he hasn't called me, he even neglected to wish me a happy birthday yesterday. He has a key to my apartment which stupidly I didn't take back last time I saw him. He also has some things of mine, things of importance. I would like him to miss me so I have refrained from calling texting or emailing him. I have some things of his that he said he wants back and odviously I want my key back. But I don't know what to do, if I should just wait for his call which may never come, or contact him myself. Any suggestions? He's passive agressive, he's given me the silent treatment and I don't want to do anything to push him away. I just hate the fact that his stuff is taking up my space, and he has my things! This is though, and I've been in this exact spot. Good on you for not calling/texting. I know how hard that is. However, don't use the excuse of possessions to reach out to him. Unless it a safe full of cash, or a dog or that, it can wait. Put the stuff into storage or have a mutual friend drop it off. Have a friend pick up your stuff or mail it to you. Trust em, if you reach out to meet to give him the stuff, it will build up hope that you might reconcile and it can often up being painful.
Author skyking Posted April 27, 2010 Author Posted April 27, 2010 I gave up. I'm sick of it. So I called and left a very straight forward message. I need my stuff back and I have your things and I want to get rid of them. And I stated that I didn't want to call him. And if he could please call me back that would be great. If he doesn't call me I am going to call the police and have them escort me. I'm sick of being emotionally tortured and I hate the silent treatment. I gave him 2 weeks. He needs to grow up and let me move on, if that's what he asked for in the first place.
alphamale Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I just hate the fact that his stuff is taking up my space, and he has my things! wait a couple more weeks and if he hasn't called you then contact him and tell him you would like to exchange your property at a specified time and location. hold his stuff hostage until you get your 5hit back
D-Lish Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 If he doesn't call me I am going to call the police and have them escort me That seems a little extreme... I'd enlist the help of a friend to go get your stuff and drop off his things. Don't show him you are angry, it's better to appear aloof and dis-interested.
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 Have a friend take care of it for you. It sounds like you're looking for an excuse to see him. Locks can be changed, it's not very expensive or hard to do. yeah... Forget the key... If he wanted to have it copied it would have already been done and getting a key back doesn't mean they still don't have a copy
Hot Carl Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 If he doesn't call me I am going to call the police and have them escort me. I imagine the police will tell you you're on your own. They don't have time for that kind of thing.
alphamale Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I imagine the police will tell you you're on your own. They don't have time for that kind of thing. yea they are too busy eating donuts
carhill Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 Make a list of your and his *stuff*. E-mail list to ex, requesting a response and methodology of exchange. Then, execute. I think the friend idea is a good one, as long as the issue is settled before the friend executes the exchange. You don't want the friend 'in the middle'. My stbx and I have handled a number of issues this way. It works pretty well. The more we've done it (our divorce is almost final), the easier it gets. It becomes business. Stick to business. No digs, no off-topic conversation. Cold and business-like. Re-key your locks today. That's the easy part. Also, re-code your garage door opener, if you think he has one (as applicable). I'd do that anyway, regardless of whether he 'has a key' or not. Once you accept it's 'over', this will all get much easier. I hope everything works out
D-Lish Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 yea they are too busy eating donuts You made me spit out my beer with that comment:lmao: You're funny Alph.
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 , re-code your garage door opener, That was always my key that I gave a girl that I was dating.. I never asked for it back.. just recoded and hit home depot for a new one... Done in under 30 mins.
SadKitty78 Posted April 27, 2010 Posted April 27, 2010 I gave up. I'm sick of it. So I called and left a very straight forward message. I need my stuff back and I have your things and I want to get rid of them. And I stated that I didn't want to call him. And if he could please call me back that would be great. If he doesn't call me I am going to call the police and have them escort me. I'm sick of being emotionally tortured and I hate the silent treatment. I gave him 2 weeks. He needs to grow up and let me move on, if that's what he asked for in the first place. You can always arrange for a friend to contact him and arrange for pickup. If this is not possible, send him a quick email or text, requesting that he leave your items in a box in front of his door and give him a time frame of when you intend to pick it up so that the items aren’t left outside for too long. (This is if nothing is really valuable). Just dump his stuff in front of his house too! Follow that up with, “Will this work for you”? And I am REALLY CONFUSED about the police part. Why would you need the cops? Has there been any form of harassment where you've felt in danger? If not, you two can work this out as adults. Don't have law enforcement involved solely because you are angry and hate him right now!
Author skyking Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 He's making it really difficult because he hasn't returned my call simply requesting that I get my things back. I said in the call last night that I needed my things, and to return his and that I did not want to call him but I had to, and I asked that he please return my call. He has my house key and it does make me uncomfortable. He isn't physically violent, but I feel scared of verbal harassment from him, he hurt me very badly with his passive agressive behavior and I just want someone there as protection from more hurt. I think he would let this go to his ego and be really nasty to me. I don't want to contact him again and not be contacted..it's so childish. It's like he's still trying to control me, I just want to cut ties. I don't want to deal with him and be with him anymore. I'm done with his issues, I want to take care of myself only. The police being involved would just help me prove I am actually being serious...and I'm not making up some bs excuse to see him. I already have a new bow who's really nice so I'm going with that... I've just been in similar situations before, twice, with one physically violent man, and another verbally abusive..they both made my life hell just trying to get my things. And I'm so sick of the reacurrance that I just want help and I don't want to drag my friends into it. I think maybe now I should really take a true stand, not let anyone walk all over me, I really love police and their services, they gave me advice before but I didn't take an officer with me which I should have. I will give my X the benefit of the doubt. I will give him another 24 hours to contact me, and if he doesn't I don't know what I will do. I would really like to WORK THIS OUT AS ADULTS, but I'm not working with an adult. This is a 6 year old in a 33 year olds body.
northstar1 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 My boyfriend recently broke up with me. I would like to give him as much space as possible, deep down I want him to miss me and try things again. I have not contacted him for almost 3 weeks and he hasn't called me, he even neglected to wish me a happy birthday yesterday. He has a key to my apartment which stupidly I didn't take back last time I saw him. He also has some things of mine, things of importance. I would like him to miss me so I have refrained from calling texting or emailing him. I have some things of his that he said he wants back and odviously I want my key back. But I don't know what to do, if I should just wait for his call which may never come, or contact him myself. Any suggestions? He's passive agressive, he's given me the silent treatment and I don't want to do anything to push him away. I just hate the fact that his stuff is taking up my space, and he has my things! For whatever reason he's not ready to talk to you or see you. Maybe he is being passive and thinking he'll just ignore you to make a point, or perhaps he is hurting and isn't ready to have any contact. people often become immature after breakups and they dont always act as adults, or how you would expect them to act. I've tried to get in touch with my ex to meet and to exchange things, and she hasn't responded. Is it childish? Sure, but I can't force her to respond to me. Material possesions can wait. Change your locks you are worried.
Author skyking Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Along with the key he also has some important things that belonged to my dead father. And a real Jimmy Hendrix photo I bought off an auction which is worth money and sentimental value...if it weren't for those items I wouldn't care so much.
Author skyking Posted April 28, 2010 Author Posted April 28, 2010 Thankyou everyone for your advice. I will go on my dates, have my fun and live my life, I will give my x more time and then later on worry some more about my things and then contact him again... I just don't want to lose them forever, especially my father's stuff, arg!
northstar1 Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 Thankyou everyone for your advice. I will go on my dates, have my fun and live my life, I will give my x more time and then later on worry some more about my things and then contact him again... I just don't want to lose them forever, especially my father's stuff, arg! Trust me, I know how frustrating it is. That they won't even reply to a text and give you a yes/no/later message. give it a bit more time and then try again.
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