Hannah86 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 So I was with this guy for about 5 months. We hung out like 4 nights/week and were really happy, but he was afraid of labels (I never brought it up) but I called it off when one night, drunkenly, he told me I was not his girlfriend. I was very upset, we talked everyday for about a week about why he would say such things, and I didn't like what he had to say. Basically, "We never talked about it!" me: "well, we're talking about it now." him: .... (silence) NC for two months, shot him a quickie email thanking him for helping me on something huge that came full circle after we broke up (like career-changing) and he sent me back a really long email, saying he wanted to hang out. I kind of blew it off, but was obviously happy to hear he missed me. Ran into him at a bar, he was super smiley, had a million questions, it was like he had new found respect for me socially (a lot of our friends have stronger loyalty to me) and because of this huge move in my career. We kept in touch as friends while I had a short relationship with another boy, my ex saw us out together and was visibly upset. Fast forward to things not working out with this new guy...the ex swoops in immediately. We've had a wonderful time, and he suggested we take it slow this time around. We've hung out a lot, he said he doesn't want to get physical, I said, "There is no way I am getting physical with you unless you and I are officially together. I am not going through that again." Saturday night, our fourth time hanging out together, we have a sleepover and we both said we'd keep out clothes on (we had done it the night before, no problem). However, we were really really drunk...I told him it was a bad idea but he stuck it in and out, in and out (all him). When i wiggled away he said I was right, I reiterated my point that I want to talk first, and he said we definitely needed to, but sober. I'm wondering--guys--does the fact that he stuck it in and out count? Sex for three seconds? I wonder if it is a mental thing, like he conquered me, and now it won't work out. We got brunch the following day and hung out the whole afternoon, didn't do so much as kiss but acted like everything was fine. Affectionate, cuddly, then I went home around 5pm to make myself some dinner.
EthanH Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 I'm not really sure what you are asking...you sound really young...why not wait until you meet someone who isn't going to mess you around before you decide you are ready for sex? If I was you, I would stay away from him, get close to someone who you can actually talk to before anything happens, and then you won't be so scared and confused.
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