rob90 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 ok i might be overthinking this way too much but i just had to get some opinions because i've never felt this way about a girl before. i'm 19 now and i've been dating girls since i was 14. i've had 3 "serious" relationships that all lasted about a year. i've also had a bunch of flings when i wasn't dating. now to the story. i randomly met this girl through friends almost a year ago. we saw each other and talked every week or two but never hung out or anything. i liked her from the start because i could be 100% myself around her and there was just something about her. a month or two ago, we started to talk more and i was liking her more and more. some of my girl friends thought she liked me too. a few weeks ago we were talking even more and started to hang out. i had the most amazing time with her. we texted all day long and tried to see each other whenever we could(we both have school and jobs). i really didn't want to mess anything up so i was taking things very slow. I wanted to be sure. about a week ago I was sure. I felt such a big connection with her. more than with any other girl ever. she also really liked me. so I asked her out. that's when things got a little weird. she said yes but she wanted to take it slow(which made sense and was fine with me). Then she said she wanted to have like a test period to see how this would work out(also fine with me). And then she said since we're testing it out, don't expect too much from me. This is what really threw me off. I had no idea what that meant. what was i supposed to expect? Anyways, we hung out a few times and it was awesome. then one night i wanted to tell her how much she meant to me but she couldn't talk on the phone and asked me to text. i didn't want to text everything so i just thanked her for giving me a chance and told her some more. she was happy and told me some things. but then at the end she said just don't expect much from me since we're still trying to see how it will go. to me that sounded like she wasn't expecting this to work out but i just told myself she's being carefull. then the next couple days got awkward randomly. we didn't text much and every time i tried to hang out she had some excuse. i knew she was busy but we've made time to see each other on even busier days before. we made a few plans but she always cancelled them right before. then randomly in the middle of the night she texted me and said she can't take it anymore and she just can't like me more than a friend. and she said she wasn't really ready to date. i know it hasn't been long at all so i might be overthinking it but i've seriously never felt this way before. i've had good relationships and really bad break ups but this is different. i've never met a girl that liked so many things that I do and i don't even know how to explain it. it felt more than perfect with her. I don't think i did anything wrong. i'm gonna try to meet up with her to talk about it. I just don't see how she can't like me more than just a friend when we have been more than just friends for a few weeks. could she have just changed her mind or something? I talked to one of my girl friends about this and she said that maybe she was doing this to see if i would try to go after her and get her back or just move on. because i'm willing to do anything for this girl. but she also said that she might have just stopped liking me and moved on. can that happen this quick? I'm not sure if i should move on or try to get her back. i want to try at least a little bit and tell her how much she really meant to me and ask her to explain. is there a chance i'll change her mind? not by begging or anything but by always being there for her and supporting her in everything and just showing that i really care about her. I also think that she might have thought that i didn't really like her and wanted to hook up or something. she knew i've been with a lot of girls but she's only had 2 guys and it was nothing serious. we never hooked up or anything past cuddling and hugging and stuff. sorry for all this writing and it might be a little crazy since we weren't together for that long but i just don't want to give up that easily on her.
EthanH Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 The thing that struck me first about your post was... slow down... you are 19 and you have already had 3 serious things? Why can't you be happy being single? Why not just chill for a bit? Why the rush to get into 'a relationship'? This girl isn't the one, you barely know her, you barely know yourself, just allow yourself to enjoy life a bit. You still have a lot of time to be serious about someone. And if you can't just have fun, you have to ask yourself why that is...and my answer is that you are needy. I don't mean that in a horrible way, but I think you need to be aware of it. She isn't going to be sure, as if you are 19, she is going to be less (I'm presuming?)... so if she has doubts now, she is going to be uncertain, and if you are this bothered now by all of this stuff... what is it going to be like if you are with her for a year? You will want to marry her or something. The age thing is a massive issue here. You need to back off and not rush things. I know you think you have never connected with anyone as you have with her, but then again... how many girls have you really known well? You are changing so dramatically in these years, stop fighting it, just go with it, go out and have fun, live your life rather than worrying about a girl who is unsure about things... why waste your time?
USMCHokie Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 RUN. FAR AWAY. AND FAST. This girl was never interested to begin with. How the heck can "things be perfect" when you hardly know this girl? It's only been a few weeks, my friend. Don't talk to her anymore. Don't hang out with her anymore. Find someone who's actually interested in dating you. Do not "fight for her," because you'll be fighting for nothing. You won't change her mind. Pick up your balls and move on. Next, please.
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