Nikki Sahagin Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 What a rollercoaster this year has been. After a year of NC, LC, NC, sex, a rebound and hitting some of the most daunting lows I have ever experienced, I am still not over my ex. I thought I was for a point and at times the emotions/thoughts seem to fade/disapear. Nonetheless I think of him every day and I know deep down I am holding onto some hope that he will come back and regret his decision to leave me. Other guys have shown interest me and I had a short rebound relationship, but I don't really want a relationship with anyone else but him. Its strange because, things have gone back to how they were BEFORE we knew each other, but even before then I felt drawn to him, connected to him in some way. I remember the day I first walked past him, and I felt a strange feeling like 'that guy will be important to me someday', then a few months later we met. So even though things have 'reset' as it were, to before our relationship, that draw, connection, magnetism, whatever the hell it is, I have NO idea, is still with me. I have not experienced that before with anyone else. I had a really hard last few days where I cried and missed him terribly, like I did in the first few months. I dreamnt of him, I just wanted him there. I wanted to break NC but didn't and I had the strongest feeling he was thinking of me and regretting things. That might have been wishful thinking, but its what I felt and sometimes I think I intuitively pick up his feelings because its happened many times before. Its really hard at the moment. I just wanted to share and say, it can be a long journey, because you fall in love, but you have to crawl back out of it. Somedays, even after all this time, I still think its too hard to do it. Its like climbing a mountain and looking back at them from a great height, but they are still there, maybe smaller, and the more you focus, the more they come back. Sometimes I just want to tell him, it doesn't matter that you hurt me or left or were horrible, I just want you to know, need you to know, that I love you.
monkeymaid Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 nikki yo u are not alone here. im kind the same. its only been 2 months, but we were apart for 4 months at one time, and were friends before that for 6 years. our relationship lasted 2 years. she got grass is greener syndrome and i let her go. there is always tension, always that "something". it was there the day we broke up, it is there when im listening to someone talk to her on the phone. i know when she is at her parents house. ..i can just feel it. i can feel the days when she is over me and i can feel when she is thinkign about me. im not sure i believe in metaphysics, but at times my mind wonders if we were actually something to eachother before this. i also wonder why we are so drawn to eachother, yet cannot make it work. timing? i doint believe in that bs. ...you want somone you make **** happen. i dont know what this all is, but i know that i have never been more attracted, and never felt so connected to any other person in my life. i wonder if she feels the same way despite all of this, you have to do whats best for you! what is best for you nikki?
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way too. Its a shame we can love someone so much but they just want to explore all of their other options. I think connections are so rare and amazing, they can't be thrown away on meaningless trysts with other people. Maybe they will realise that someday. Whats best for me? I don't really know. I suppose to keep going. I want to find that kind of love again!
teanoranges Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 right there with you girl. almost a year broken up and 6 months nc.. thought I was over it, but cried like a crazy woman the other day. I don't know if I miss him or just want him to be completely jealous and regret leaving me. haha. EGO! I like myself a lot and I am fine on my own, I'm so used to it... just kind of miss having that person around you could say anything to (guess not though, since he trashed me because of the things I said) When does it go away? Hopefully soon.
Toki Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Thought I'd never get over my ex... but I did, and you will too.
EmperorR Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Took me like two years to get over my ex fiancé but I did.the person you loved and cherished is dead. Let go move on
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