carrie3107 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 (edited) Why cant a dumper be honest with u and just say its finish it. I dont have mind reading skills. Being seeing a lad for 5 months and they have been good times. (he lives round the corner from me, goes in the same pubs, has the same friends as me). So now that he has confirmed that we have broke up I have to go NC from him, but still see him on the weekend and be civil but bloke all emoitions. We split up because something drunkenly. When i said "am i staying at yours tonight" he said "you've got 10 mins to get round mine". I went and the door was locked and his phone was off. That was a month a go and things havent been the same since a couple of arguements etc, but he cant forgive me. It was a mistake and hes pulled away. Saying hes got a lot of stress from work etc. If he had been honest with me and said lets finish then it would have caused less worry. Phone number deleted, email address deleted, as soon as i can bloke him again from facebook (as i bloked him last week and then unbloked). To try to get as much NC from him as possible and crack on with my life. Just unhappy at the mo and discussed it with my friends but dont want to attention seek. Is there such a thing as a relationship phobia ? Is it just the way things are now meet someone, become close and develop the relationship and then like a bunny in headlights run for the hills. Thank you for reading x Edited April 26, 2010 by carrie3107
EthanH Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 um, I don't really know what to say. You both sound young. He doesn't sound like he treated you with much respect. I mean, he messed you around the night you have quoted from... he asked you to come running, and when you did, he shut off... so... it should have been him who apologised to you! It sounds to me like it was very much him in control in the relationship. He hasn't got relationship 'phobia', he pretty much sounds like the norm for most people of your age... he doesn't want to settle down yet, he doesn't know what he wants, so to expect him to be able to feel something he doesn't yet, is just wrong. It's like looking at a 5 year old kid and asking them about politics, they are incapable of knowing what they think, as they haven't got the capacity to know what they want/think yet. But it isn't their fault. If you want something serious, date someone who knows what they want. Don't doubt yourself.
Author carrie3107 Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 (edited) Thank u for your response and much appreciate the reference to the age thing u made me smile He's 48 (divorcee) and im 38 but u have put a smile on my face and thank you for the complimentx At the time i decided when we were talking about what had happened i didnt want to argue with him so i took the rap for it. Agree with doesnt know what he wants he's very much in the routine of a single person and even when hes seeing someone he makes time for them during the week but during the weekend its boys club.(we saw each other twice a week, which i was happy with cause i had rushed into a previous relationship and was living with someone two weeks after meeting him). What i meant by the realtionship phobia is me. Been hurt a number of times so when i met someone so expect it to fail before it starts. Thats my fault and im trying to change my thinking. Edited April 26, 2010 by carrie3107
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