brainygirl Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I've been lurking for a while, and finally signed up to post. Here's the issue. I am not a person that opens up or meets people easily. At the moment I am sort of seeing this guy I met online. Aside from good sex (not great, but good) there isn't much about him that I am into. I'm a nerd girl, he watches sitcoms and reality TV. I teach science, he's a fundamental Christian (who makes booty calls). I don't see a future with him, but I also like having someone around for the moment. I'm a single mom, a grad student, and I work full time. 90% of the guys I meet in person can't get past one or all of those facts about me and I never hear from them again. So, the question. Would you folks stop seeing the guy who doesn't do much for you in the hopes of being a little more open to a better relationship, or would you stay in the dead end relationship for the companionship?
Lakeside_runner Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I'm a single mom, a grad student, and I work full time. 90% of the guys I meet in person can't get past one or all of those facts about me and I never hear from them again. If these were meant as negatives - the second cracked me up! Yes, we graduate students are people of a lesser category... So, the question. Would you folks stop seeing the guy who doesn't do much for you in the hopes of being a little more open to a better relationship, or would you stay in the dead end relationship for the companionship? I think this is the answer you're looking for. Why not put some effort in finding a guy whom you're genuinely into and who's more compatible? Go out there! Have some fun! (I know it's hard given the above)
Romance Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 You can have your fun time with him you know but I wouldn't waste your time. I mean once you have your fun, go out and look for a more serious dude!
Author brainygirl Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 The grad student thing is a negative because I live in a conservative rural area and it seems like guys around here want a woman to be a size two, want to be a stay at home mom, and think that nothing is more fun than "fishin, huntin, and watchin Bill O'reily". It is very hard for me to find someone who doesn't look at me and say "what does that mean" when I talk to them, and no, I don't use huge or obscure vocabulary.
Lakeside_runner Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Well, it all depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking just for fun then noting stops you from continuing the relationship and just having fun. So: ask yourself what are you looking for - a long term relationship or a bunch of flings just to keep that part of your life fun and enjoyable.
tkgirl Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 The grad student thing is a negative because I live in a conservative rural area and it seems like guys around here want a woman to be a size two, want to be a stay at home mom, and think that nothing is more fun than "fishin, huntin, and watchin Bill O'reily". It is very hard for me to find someone who doesn't look at me and say "what does that mean" when I talk to them, and no, I don't use huge or obscure vocabulary. I think you need to move!
Author brainygirl Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 Thought about it . . . even had sort of started a long distance thing with a guy who got me, my humor, my interests, my kids, and then he emailed and informed me that he liked me and I was wonderful and blah blah blah but he felt that the distance was too much work and his kids and all that. And its just very disheartening that the only person who's come close to being my "match" says I am too far away and the only person close who is remotely interested in me is honestly not worth my time.
RobM Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Nothing wrong with enjoying who you're with even if you don't see a long term future with him. Keep him around and keep looking.
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