AriaIncognito Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Just posted a reply to another thread which led me to think about the fact that 2 out of the past 3 serious relationships I've had (4 years and 1.5 years respectively) have ended with the guy finding "the one" within 1 month of our breakup (one met "the one" when we were still together....cheated and the other I believe met his online the month or 2 following our final breakup). I wonder, is there something that those of us have done that have made these others "ready", and why they weren't ready with us? I guess it's like the saying always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Anyone else have this happen to you? Or, have any interesting insight as to why this happens? Is it really all massive coincidence, or do some of us really play the role of fixing people up for the next person to take them lol. I'm just curious.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Yeah, it sorta happened to me. She was with me, cheated on my with an ex, after he dumped her... She met some dude and married him, good riddance! lol. it wasnt the end of the world. i think she did me a favor.
sagetalk Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Happened to a male family member. He treated this girl like a queen, did everything you could possibly do for a girl, yet she still cheated on him. She married the other guy fast to make it worse. The guy she ran off with was vastly inferior in every way. It is unbelievable how dumb some people are when it comes to dating. Fortunately he recovered and married an awesome girl (way better than the girl I mentioned above), so it worked out well for him.
Romance Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 This keeps happening to my mother! Her past 3 long term boyfriends have all gotten married to the woman they dated immediately after
tigressA Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 My first boyfriend--dated him when I was 19 for nearly 4 months--got married to the girl after me, last August. He was always very commitment-minded. If I hadn't been a mere rebound from his ex who he'd been totally crazy about (she left him for his best friend), he probably would've proposed to me. It wouldn't have worked out between us though; we were pretty incompatible.
tkgirl Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 um yeah... twice! both times of them were LTRs and things were getting serious and they were starting to talk marriage... I was the one that wasn't ready though but I guess they were! needless to say things ended... I have to say that I wasn't really hurt either time... or surprised... except for that guy #2 ended up marrying a girl with the same first name as me!
Author AriaIncognito Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 In both of my cases I'd say I'm better off as well. With the one, we just turned into friends and were more like best friends than lovers. With the other, he didn't treat me well enough to have me marry him anyway, so I suppose I am better off. But it still leaves you wondering why it happens LOL
Left in a Lurch Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 It happened to me twice when I was younger. I think it was more a matter of the girl really wanted to settle down and I was not even close to thinking about marriage. So when we went our separate ways I think they both just found someone else looking to get married. Basically I dated women that were looking to get hitched and because they wanted to get married and I didn't, a break up was inevitable. As a result of the break up I think they learned to identify ready to get married and that is who they dated next. I never thought it was fate or coincidence, just a natural path when a relationship has one person ready to get married and another that isn't.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Yes, the last two people I was in a serious relationship with. One said "I just don't have it in me to feel that way about anyone" and the other said "I really don't believe in marriage." Both are well on their way to being married. No biggie really. I'm happy where I am. I have to say I'm thankful actually that they cut me loose to find the man I'm with now. :love:
phineas Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 I had a GF Cheat on me / dump me for a complete dirt-bag & end up marrying him like right away. But I was young & hanging out in the bars hitting on chicks. SO WAS HE! LOL! She called me up like 6 months later but I don't know why. I never called her back.
Crazy Magnet Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Story of my life! I've had quite a few get married to the next girl. Many of them brought up marriage to me over and over, and because I wasn't ready, I ended the relationships so I can't say it's a big surprise. I have no problems with it though b/c they simply weren't right for me. Let's take a head count. 1....2.....3.....4.....I think #5 could be in the works right now! lol He seems pretty serious about his new GF. They didn't always start dating right away though. Guy #1 took a several year break from dating after me. He knew who he wanted to marry right away, but she told him she didn't want to date him until she finished college, so he waited, asked her out, and they got married a year later. Guy #2...that girl had been after him forever. She swooped in about three days after we broke up and sunk her little claws in. From what I have heard they are really happy, so good for them! Guy #3...the exH. He just sucks. I feel bad for her. Guy #4...within 2 months he met someone new, moved her in by about 4 or 5 months, and popped the question. After 2 years with the guy I realized he was desperate to marry whoever he was with and that just wasn't for me. She was totally on the prowl for a new daddy for her kid though. I can't say he'd be my first choice for that role, but I guess it's working for them. I hear it's a high drama relationship which is what he always had with me too. I'm just not cut out for all that drama.
janie423 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Yes. Once. I think what happens is we stay in relationships that are not a good fit but there are aspects that are satisfying, and we actually do prepare them in some cases for the next person. We stay in the relationship, or fantasy, way too long and we build up the other person's confidence and then they find who they really want. Ultimately though we dodged a bullet by not marrying them; we will realize that retrospectively at some point.
make me believe Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 The last guy that I dated is engaged to the girl he started dating after me. But they moved in together and got "engaged" two weeks after meeting and have a really dysfunctional relationship, so...good luck to them. lol. Oh, actually it's happened two other times too! My first serious bf married the girl he started dating after me (and the whole time we were together, I knew she had a thing for my bf...), and the guy I dated after him is also now married to the girl he met after me! None of this really bothers me, though.
123BeachFan Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 It happened to me twice in my lifetime, the guy I was seeing dumped me for another woman, and eventually married the other woman. Both cases, though, were not real contenders for LTR for me. So, all's well that ends well. Except that one of those two guys is now divorced
sally4sara Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 I've not had this happen for me, but I guess two of my exes have had this happen for them with our break ups being that the next person I got with, I ended up married to. I do remember my ex-husband saying it probably made things easier for the guy before him to get over it seeing as how it wasn't a frivolous move. I would think it would depend on how in the exes face the new relationship was. I've never called up an ex to rub their face in my married status. I'm finding it pretty callous of their ex for the posters who have dealt with this.
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