freckles3131 Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 As a man... When upset,hurt or angry with something your significant other is doing (LTR) or something she has said to you that causes you to feel hurt/angry/sad/exhausted Do you usually: a)Keep things to yourself, never speaking up about it and drop "hints" that you are unhappy,mad, sad etc... or b) Spit it out/say how her behavior makes you feel, put it on the table and hash it out even if you are afraid of confrontation/stirring the pot/rocking the boat
linwood Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 b) Spit it out/say how her behavior makes you feel, put it on the table and hash it out even if you are afraid of confrontation/stirring the pot/rocking the boat This one........
just_some_guy Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I have a tendency to do the first, keep it bottled up. I don't drop hints too much. But when I catch myself doing it, I try to correct and speak up about what's bothering me. When I was kid there was no complaining, or you got smacked with a belt or slapped across the face. So I learned at an early age to shut up, tough it out and man up. Doesn't help a lot in an adult relationship.
tnttim Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 (edited) be a man take a stand I used to bottle it up, then I would complain about everything when I filled up. Let it out My wife respects me even more now that she knows where I stand. My employees as well, I take way more control and it earns me respect. In control, not controlling Edited April 25, 2010 by tnttim
Blindsidedagainalive Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 My significant other is an "A" woman. This is a common 'match up' and can lead to problems.
You Go Girl Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 Well I'm a spit and vinegar razor tongue woman. But the reason I'm commenting on the thread is this--we don't always understand or 'get' your little hints. You really need to speak up, guys. Just do it when you're cool headed.
shadowofman Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 I bottle up feeling where I feel like I have no rational complaint. Doesn't change the fact that I am bothered. I spit out anything where I feel real, arguable protest is warranted, often to such an extreme analytical degree that all parties feel completely confused on the matter.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 I try to assess the long-term implications if I do b), so it is a), unless of course I can't help it do b) and then live with the consequences:o...
lexhappy Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 My husband never tells me when something is bothering him. He just says passive/aggressive comments that really doesn't help me to figure out what exactly the problem is.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I do 'B' when the time is right for it, and when I know he'll be receptive to what I'm saying.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 A, all the way down to the 'hints' being actual full-blown strawman arguments. Sheesh, guys, just spit it out already! Who was the moron who thought up the whole, "If I get her really mad about *this*, maybe she'll stop doing *that*"????
TechDude Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 My wife has severe depression ... b) is not an option. Even a) is only half right. I have to be careful not to drop any hints.
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