cnfusd84 Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 My ex and I broke up over a year ago. We moved in together. He started drinking ALOT, dabbling in drugs, staying out all night and day and in the end began dating other people. He was the first guy I ever trusted with everything so yeah the break up was bad. It took some time but I recovered! I am a strong believer of the NC policy and enforced in to the max after the break up. Well after months of NC (on my part). He tried to friend me on facebook. I accepted mostly because I didn't want to be childish about it and didn't care either way and decided I would continue my NC. Well of course he FB chats me and I do talk to him not really about anything in my life but he does tell me how his "friend" (aka new gf that he's living with) is taking him to a baseball game and cancun for his B-Day. I basically tell him he's going to have a blast and to have a fun trip. Days before his trip he contacts me again via FB chat. Talking about how excited he is that he's going on this trip with his "friend". But, this time he also starts to talk about how he loves the pic I have on my profile and how my body is amazing and yada yada yada. I choose not to really play into this behavior and once again tell him to have a great trip and discontinue the conversation. Yesterday, again FB chat, this time it's about a movie I said I was watching and he's suggesting others I should see. Blah blah blah. tells me how he past weekend was rough 'cause he tried some drug called "molly" and it made him depressed and he basically spent an entire day in a ball crying and depressed. I tell him he really needs to try to take care of himself. He tells me he is and that he isn't drinking as much as he use to and he that he was kinda a "lost 'cause" when he moved out. I pretty much choose to ignore any mention of our break up from him. It is in the past. It hurt like hell and I don't see any point in bringing it up. I'm not sure if I want to even be friend with him right now, but I do feel like he's up to something. Any thoughts???
callalilly Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Delete him from your Facebook immediately! By accepting him as a facebook friend, you ended NC, yet you said you were going to continue NC! Do you see the problem here?
Author cnfusd84 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 I should really delete him if I have no feelings for him anymore?? We broke up in Oct of 2008. I decided long ago that bacuase of the way things ended he would never have another shot with me as long as he lives. Being his FB friend doesn't really matter either way, but I don't want to seem petty and delete him. The last few talks we've had have just reinstated the fact that he is not what I want in my life and I am truly over him.
USMCHokie Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 NC stopped the moment you accepted him as a friend on FB. There is nothing childish about not accepting a friend request on FB. You owe him nothing. I don't understand why you think it's so petty to block him on FB. Don't just delete. BLOCK. Done. Move on with your life like you have. You have no right to complain about this. You did it to yourself.
Author cnfusd84 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 First off, I am not complaining. I just think it's weird. I did block him on facebook when we first broke up then unblocked him. De-friended each other. But like I said that was forever ago. I am friends with other exs also that I might talk to once or twice a year. I don't consider him to be an actual friend anymore but FB friends are not very personal. I have close friends that I talk to on there as well as in person and on the phone and I have people that I've met once at some random party and we've decided that we wanted to be FB friends after belting out Journey with each other. I don't believe in completely blocking someone from your life forever especially since I don't view him that way anymore. Which poses another question....should you never accept any form of contact from an ex after a break up? and why?
USMCHokie Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Which poses another question....should you never accept any form of contact from an ex after a break up? and why? Depends on who the dumper was.
yume Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Which poses another question....should you never accept any form of contact from an ex after a break up? and why? I think if a significant amount of time has gone by then why not? There isn't much chance of you becoming close again so...there's nothing wrong with being friendly, especially if the feelings are all gone and you've moved on in your life. The only problem with this is if someone "relapses" and the other has to shut them down. So.....my advice would be to advance with caution... *shrug*
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