Need someone to talk to...

[nys]

What do you girls do to get over MM? I have tried NC twice but failed. 2 days back I texted MM (we fought over something childish) but he did not reply. I am doubtful he will be even replying to my text at all...since he has been rather distant the past few weeks. If he doesn't, this is the 3rd time it will be back to NC.

 

On one hand, I am really wishing he would reply (cos I don't really have many friends), on the other, I am thinking how he can be so cruel as to just ignore me completely. At the most he could just reply saying that "it's over" or just SOMETHING.

 

I am deeply hurt/feel absolutely stupid for falling for his charms/sad to lose a friend.

 

I feel like I have no interest/energy in doing anything, I dread going to work everyday...all I do is stay at home on the PC.

 

I really wouldn't mind having someone to chat with now...seeing how I can't confide in any of my friends/family because I am so ashamed.

[secretlady76]

What do you girls do to get over MM? I have tried NC twice but failed. 2 days back I texted MM (we fought over something childish) but he did not reply. I am doubtful he will be even replying to my text at all...since he has been rather distant the past few weeks. If he doesn't, this is the 3rd time it will be back to NC.

To help you succeed; text him and tell him its over so you gain control and then delete his email and phone numbers and block his details from your PC and phone. This is your decision now get on with it.

On one hand, I am really wishing he would reply (cos I don't really have many friends), on the other, I am thinking how he can be so cruel as to just ignore me completely. At the most he could just reply saying that "it's over" or just SOMETHING.

 

He isn't a friend and you are not going to get any more friends if you are wasting time chasing after this lame excuse of a man.

 

I am deeply hurt/feel absolutely stupid for falling for his charms/sad to lose a friend.

 

You haven't lost a friend, you have lost an idiot.

 

I feel like I have no interest/energy in doing anything, I dread going to work everyday...all I do is stay at home on the PC.

 

Get off the PC and get to work and get on with your life. Trust me he is not thinking of you as much as you're thinking of him.

 

I really wouldn't mind having someone to chat with now...seeing how I can't confide in any of my friends/family because I am so ashamed.

 

This site will help you get rid of this waste of time man....most of them are.

 

Good luck, it does get better!!!!!

Edited April 25, 2010 by secretlady76

[nys]

Thanks secretlady.

 

I shall do that...text him that it's over...IF he ever contacts me again...if not i'll just leave it as that i guess...

[scatterd]

If you are already hurting just emagine the wife get rid of him you are asking for trouble it only gets worse find a single man.Get married to someone who can and make sure hes good because it slike hell to be cheated on.Good luck

[nys]

If you are already hurting just emagine the wife get rid of him you are asking for trouble it only gets worse find a single man.Get married to someone who can and make sure hes good because it slike hell to be cheated on.Good luck

 

I really hope he gets caught one day...cos I have heard that he cheated on his wife barely 1 or 2 years into their marriage. Not surprised if he started cheating on her while they were dating.

 

He even admitted to me that he has slept with an uncountable amount of women, but has only had 4 "real" relationships.

 

Why do such people even exist...

[secretlady76]

Thanks secretlady.

 

I shall do that...text him that it's over...IF he ever contacts me again...if not i'll just leave it as that i guess...

 

You don't need to wait for him to contact you before sending the text. Simply send the text and then you know where you both are. He probably won't reply and if he does well, ignore him, actually block his number and then it won't be a problem is he tries to.

 

I take it you are not married yourself judging by what you have written?

[MizzBlue72]

The hard part is you have to know what you want. Once YOU figure out what you want, this won't necessarily be easier, but you should be able to stick to it better.

 

I know how it hurts to go NC. But if you truly go NC, you need to stick to it for it to work. I tried a million times - never worked, because I never really wanted it to. I never changed my phone number, or email, etc.

 

I know you say you don't have many friends. Get out and make some! I know - not that easy, but the more you get out and get your mind moving, the easier it will be to get past this. Go see a show, go out and have copy, read a book, join a gym.

 

If you both decide to continue this, set some ground rules. You will need to be willing to accept that you will always be #2, and the W comes first. That's a tough one.

 

And yeah - I know, it seems like MM get off really really easy. They can walk in and out of our lives and they don't really understand the havoc they create. But the one thing I have learned from being on here is that I have allowed this to happen. OW can take the power back anytime they want to. It's just most of us choose not too and won't stick to it.

 

Keep posting. It will help - a LOT. You will see a lot of different opinions on here, and so many point of views. Keep reading. You will see that your story is a LOT like the rest of us.

[fooled once]

I really hope he gets caught one day...cos I have heard that he cheated on his wife barely 1 or 2 years into their marriage. Not surprised if he started cheating on her while they were dating.

 

He even admitted to me that he has slept with an uncountable amount of women, but has only had 4 "real" relationships.

 

Why do such people even exist...

 

Why do you want him if he is as bad as you say?

[joey66]

What do you girls do to get over MM? I have tried NC twice but failed. 2 days back I texted MM (we fought over something childish) but he did not reply. I am doubtful he will be even replying to my text at all...since he has been rather distant the past few weeks. If he doesn't, this is the 3rd time it will be back to NC.

 

On one hand, I am really wishing he would reply (cos I don't really have many friends), on the other, I am thinking how he can be so cruel as to just ignore me completely. At the most he could just reply saying that "it's over" or just SOMETHING.

 

I am deeply hurt/feel absolutely stupid for falling for his charms/sad to lose a friend.

 

I feel like I have no interest/energy in doing anything, I dread going to work everyday...all I do is stay at home on the PC.

 

I really wouldn't mind having someone to chat with now...seeing how I can't confide in any of my friends/family because I am so ashamed.

 

Well, I do not qualify as one of "... you girls ...", but I do completely understand your pain. I sooooo understand the bit about not wanting to go to work, not having any energy, etc. And I particularly get the part about feeling stupid. I am fairly certain I am the stupidest person alive today.

 

I don't have an insightful, clever answer for you. It hurts like hell. I do think that posting is helpful. There are others who have been there and understand.

 

 

Wishing you peace. {{{nys}}}

[nys]

Well, I do not qualify as one of "... you girls ...", but I do completely understand your pain. I sooooo understand the bit about not wanting to go to work, not having any energy, etc. And I particularly get the part about feeling stupid. I am fairly certain I am the stupidest person alive today.

 

I don't have an insightful, clever answer for you. It hurts like hell. I do think that posting is helpful. There are others who have been there and understand.

 

 

Wishing you peace. {{{nys}}}

 

Thanks joey66, at least I know I'm not the only who is having a hard time coping, and feels the same way as I do.

[nys]

Why do you want him if he is as bad as you say?

 

I have absolutely no idea...

 

maybe I am just too damn lonely (which yes I know doesn't justify what I did).

 

or maybe cos I just don't wanna believe it cos I don't have evidence...

 

the more i post the more i realise how stupid i am...lol

[her_halo_slipped]

What do you girls do to get over MM? I have tried NC twice but failed. 2 days back I texted MM (we fought over something childish) but he did not reply. I am doubtful he will be even replying to my text at all...since he has been rather distant the past few weeks. If he doesn't, this is the 3rd time it will be back to NC.

 

On one hand, I am really wishing he would reply (cos I don't really have many friends), on the other, I am thinking how he can be so cruel as to just ignore me completely. At the most he could just reply saying that "it's over" or just SOMETHING.

 

I am deeply hurt/feel absolutely stupid for falling for his charms/sad to lose a friend.

 

I feel like I have no interest/energy in doing anything, I dread going to work everyday...all I do is stay at home on the PC.

 

I really wouldn't mind having someone to chat with now...seeing how I can't confide in any of my friends/family because I am so ashamed.

Yep... they can be very cruel and ignorance is just part of the repertoire

I am afraid.

Don't beat yourself up over the two falied NC attempts. Alexander Graeme Bell and Thomas Eddison had many many failed attempts before they reached success.

Consider it third time lucky for you.

Keep posting. You will have many replies to assist you on your way.

Good luck!

[BlueeyedJonesy]

NYS, I would like to tell you it gets easier but I have no idea..i have never been in your shoes. But, You are on the right track..this site is very helpful to anyone who is in a R they need help with. Sometimes its hard to move on when the R is all you know...so I think you should try to focus some time on yourself...sounds like you might need some healing aside from the A. good luck

[nys]

Yep... they can be very cruel and ignorance is just part of the repertoire

I am afraid.

Don't beat yourself up over the two falied NC attempts. Alexander Graeme Bell and Thomas Eddison had many many failed attempts before they reached success.

Consider it third time lucky for you.

Keep posting. You will have many replies to assist you on your way.

Good luck!

 

It most definitely is! I found out some stuff which convinced me that he definitely isn't worth it. I've come to realise that such people are sociopaths. No regards for others emotions, charming as hell, and every word out of their mouths is a LIE.

 

NYS, I would like to tell you it gets easier but I have no idea..i have never been in your shoes. But, You are on the right track..this site is very helpful to anyone who is in a R they need help with. Sometimes its hard to move on when the R is all you know...so I think you should try to focus some time on yourself...sounds like you might need some healing aside from the A. good luck

 

Thanks BlueeyedJonesy...I am thinking of couselling. It hurts like hell knowing how stupid I have been.

[Heather1]

I think it takes awhile to grieve & heal. We tried NC a couple of times too, but this time we've both stuck to it & it's really helped me. He always wanted LC, and that wasn't very helpful to me.

 

It's funny how in the beginning the reason we're attracted to this OP is because of how they make us feel. In my case, that was the year (or grooming period I'm sure) before the PA. I don't think he's made me feel good for over a year with the wishy washy guilt/martyr stuff. I make him feel good! So bottom line is, he doesn't make you feel good anymore & you feel stupid. It happens to everyone..... just walk away.

[secretlady76]

I think it takes awhile to grieve & heal. We tried NC a couple of times too, but this time we've both stuck to it & it's really helped me. He always wanted LC, and that wasn't very helpful to me.

 

It's funny how in the beginning the reason we're attracted to this OP is because of how they make us feel. In my case, that was the year (or grooming period I'm sure) before the PA. I don't think he's made me feel good for over a year with the wishy washy guilt/martyr stuff. I make him feel good! So bottom line is, he doesn't make you feel good anymore & you feel stupid. It happens to everyone..... just walk away.

 

That is so so true. Wow, you get caught up in the, well for me, EA and you make eachother feel great and you fall for eachother and then BAM it's over and you then start making eachother feel not so good. What the hell is that all about?!!!! Wished I knew!!!!

[nys]

Feel so ****ty today........ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[secretlady76]

Feel so ****ty today........ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

You will get crap days. But don't try and make it better by contacting him (which is what I used to do)...because it will only make you feel worse because he'll either a) not reply or b) not say what you want to hear or c) say what you want to hear but not mean it.

 

I can assure you that with full NC, you will move on. I promise. Keep posting. Have a look at some of the threads on here about reasons to NC; they will keep you positive.

[nys]

You will get crap days. But don't try and make it better by contacting him (which is what I used to do)...because it will only make you feel worse because he'll either a) not reply or b) not say what you want to hear or c) say what you want to hear but not mean it.

 

I can assure you that with full NC, you will move on. I promise. Keep posting. Have a look at some of the threads on here about reasons to NC; they will keep you positive.

 

Thanks...I am tempted to contact him, but only to give him a thrashing. I'm really tempted to ask him to pay off a loan I have as well (he offered to many times).

 

Do I sound psychotic?

 

Oh no...