expa1 Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 So I'm sat here not thinking should I pack my bags and leave our home. Me and girlfriend have been together for nearly 3 years and we lived together for 1 year. The problem is that after I moved in i started to be less interested in sex. Then eventually I barely want to have sex and I don't know why. I still kiss and hug her but I never want to make love but I still see her as my soul mate in life! I read something about the madonna whore complex and that got me thinking but I'm not sure because I don't go looking for the ''whore'' I thought i was depressed but when i had a good day and i didn't feel depressed i still didn't want sex!!! My girlfriend told me she feels depressed and sick, she's crying and looks like she's dying inside and it makes me so sad. I feel guilty and I'm writing this to see what you guys think. Do I do her a favor and leave her so she does not suffer anymore? Please help me.
LonelyTiger Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Get yourself checked out by a doctor. If it turns out not to be physical he should be able to refer you to a therapist. If your sex drive has disappeared and it's upsetting both you and your girlfriend you need to get it sorted. Running away will not solve anything.
Author expa1 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 The thing is I want to go and see someone to see what the cause is, but this will take time and i cannot bare to see her like this.
LonelyTiger Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 The thing is I want to go and see someone to see what the cause is, but this will take time and i cannot bare to see her like this. Go to the doctor with your girlfriend. She needs to know what's going on. The very fact that you have recognised the problem, that you care enough to share it with her and you are doing what you can to sort it will make it much, much easier for her to deal with. Yes, it make take time to sort but if you love each other surely it's worth the effort? If you walk out because you can't stand to see her suffering you are being completely selfish. A relationship involves two people. If there's a problem you need to discuss it and sort it together.
Author expa1 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 Thanks for the advise! My girlfriend just came home and said she cannot do it anymore and this problem has gone on too long now. She suggested maybe we call it a day and start new lives. But she is confused as to what we should do. One side of me says yeah okay I'll become a bachelor again but the other side tells me she is the best for me. I've decided I will go to therapy and start the gym again asap! I wish I could understand why I have a 'sex block'! Do people have any theories? But I still don't know what to do with my girlfriend!
LonelyTiger Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 But I still don't know what to do with my girlfriend! Talk to your girlfriend and work it out between you. Maybe you should split up, maybe not but you have to communicate and be honest with one another. It doesn't matter what 'theories' anybody here has. You haven't really given enough information about your situation or your background. Your libido could have disappeared for many reasons. You still need to get help from a professional - this problem is not going to magically disappear unless you do something. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
Author expa1 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 Well I went to see a therapist yesterday and it helped a little bit, then I went out with my girlfriend. It was a good night I explained how I'm going to try and feel better with the gym etc. The next morning she says she cannot see a ''solution to the problem'' and spends the morning crying saying ''its too late'' and ''I don't know anymore''. I realised last night that it's only since we moved in with each other. Before we spent nearly two years spending one weekend in a month with each other. Because we lived in different countries Now we spend nearly everyday with each other. My theory was when she nagged me it reminded me of my mother so this could be a reason why I went ''floppy'' Maybe someone can give me some tips? Maybe someone experienced this and then found a solution?
LonelyTiger Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Have you been to see a doctor yet? You need to discount any physical causes before coming up with any other theories.
D-Lish Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 My theory was when she nagged me it reminded me of my mother so this could be a reason why I went ''floppy'' I can see how that might have created an internal struggle for you. I dated a man with a very low sex drive, and it was so painful to be in that relationship. By the end, I just resented him so much, the damage couldn't be repaired.
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