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Is this a red flag?


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Posted

The other week I made a connection with someone online. He's 42, divorced and has one child per the ad. He had called / texted a few times saying that he wanted to get to know me (once he had given me his phone number first), we had arranged to have a get together on Sunday. He called / texted nearly four times on Friday, I returned one of the calls later that day after replying to one of his texts saying I was busy and unable to talk / text right then. He had to cancel on this Sunday, because he had some things to do plus he wanted to watch an upcoming basketball game. I said that was fine with me, I wouldn't want to interrupt him if that's what he wanted to do.

 

He asked me to send him some more photos of me. I asked why, he said he couldn't tell what I looked like online. I thought that was a bit odd, I have yet to send him another photo. Today (Saturday) he sent me three or four texts saying he wanted to see a photo. Then I noticed he took down his photo from the website where we connected.

 

Is this weird? I am very uneasy about this. Or am I being overly cautious here?

Posted
The other week I made a connection with someone online. He's 42, divorced and has one child per the ad. He had called / texted a few times saying that he wanted to get to know me (once he had given me his phone number first), we had arranged to have a get together on Sunday. He called / texted nearly four times on Friday, I returned one of the calls later that day after replying to one of his texts saying I was busy and unable to talk / text right then. He had to cancel on this Sunday, because he had some things to do plus he wanted to watch an upcoming basketball game. I said that was fine with me, I wouldn't want to interrupt him if that's what he wanted to do.

 

He asked me to send him some more photos of me. I asked why, he said he couldn't tell what I looked like online. I thought that was a bit odd, I have yet to send him another photo. Today (Saturday) he sent me three or four texts saying he wanted to see a photo. Then I noticed he took down his photo from the website where we connected.

 

Is this weird? I am very uneasy about this. Or am I being overly cautious here?

Some of what you described to me in my opinion seemed odd. Especially the multiple texting (I'm assuming he sent you texts over and over with none of your replies in between).

 

If you don't feel comfortable about the situation, move on. Plain and simple.

Posted

Is this weird? I am very uneasy about this.

 

Listen to that instinct. Plain and simple, if something seems off, it probably is off.

Posted (edited)

Stay away from this man. Based on what you described, I think there are two possibilities, neither of which is good:

 

1) He is obsessed with your physical appearance. Guys like that are never satisfied. Even if, after seeing more pics, you met in person, there's a good chance he'd find some nitwit reason to decide you're not attractive enough for him.

 

2) He is a creep who just gets a charge out of women sending him pics. Guys like that have no intention of ever meeting. They just get as many pics as they can--hopefully some revealing ones--and move on to the next person.

 

Stay away.

Edited by ADF
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Posted

Well, I finally sent him a photo of me. It was not provocative in any way, it was me right after I got a haircut. I sent it yesterday (Monday), he sent a text back saying "Thanks for the photo". And then nothing since.

 

Whether or not this guy is a creep I have no idea, but I am just going to let it stand. I find this odd because after all that badgering for a photo to suddenly not have any contact with me. I kind of doubt I will ever hear from him again. Still, it's what it is I guess. Not going to give him the time of day anymore.

Posted

I'd drop him because he strikes me as being flaky.

 

I have my own personal rule. If someone cancels an early date (#1 - 3) without a good reason and without rescheduling right then and there, they get dropped.

 

Plus, the whole obsession with more photos (and yet he doesn't see it important to maintain a photo on his profile himself) is just weird.

Posted
Is this weird? I am very uneasy about this. Or am I being overly cautious here?

yea hes probably married

Posted

Definite creep, shouldn't have sent that photo at all.

Posted
Definite creep, shouldn't have sent that photo at all.

indeed .

Posted

Low-confidence/ possible BBD male. Smart choice. Unfortunately, online dating can be like that.

 

The male who is more interested in your appearance and personality *in person* and moves to that venue expeditiously is a healthier potential, IMO. Good luck :)

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Posted

Never heard anything from him again once I sent the photo. C'est la vie, I guess, who knows...

Posted
Never heard anything from him again once I sent the photo. C'est la vie, I guess, who knows...

 

He was probably hoping for something revealing...

 

Good riddance to him.

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