randeye Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I'm 40, been in a few LTRs, but I can't ever find what I'm looking for. I am a unique individual who happily lives freed from the bonds of fear and religion. I don't have a taste for mainstream society when it comes to my daily personal life. So, a pseudo-feminist that bounces back and forth from Country music to Rap while spouting popular religious colloquialisms in the car isn't going to cut it for me. I wish I could come up with a "compatibility list" of QandA that could "pre-screen" certain personality types. I see a lot of people as a result of my career, and I've found that most (certainly NOT ALL) women today fall into three main categories: 1. Status-quo maintainers You know these types; same radio station every day, diet soda by the gallon, still wears clothes from 18 years ago, one favorite thing only in life, activity, or type entertainment 2. He-Woman Man Haters These are the independent working women, or the married dissatisfied women who run around "finding" men who are "gay and don't know it". They think men are worthless and stupid with no real place in the world except sexual service and manual labor. These women use sex as a strategy, a motivator, and a weapon in their search for self-gratification. 3. Party Girls Doesn't really need an explanation; drugs and booze over all else, which is to say totally self-involved and self-serving. Sex is a drug, a weapon, and a social tool, nothing else. SO, my question is, how do I find women outside of these areas? I mean, the definition of a broken heart for me would be that I meet a woman and there is mutual attraction, then one day I have a problem or feel bad or whatever, and she spouts off with, "God is in control of all things, don't worry", or "Why do you worry about crap like that? Aren't you supposed to be cleaning out the gutters?", or, "Here, take one of these, you won't worry about it anymore". UGH. Now, say I do find someone who doesn't hit any of the above, then what are the chances that we will both reciprocate interest? I really don't know what to do here...I think I came up with enough volatile material that some debates should start, or at least someone will call me names! hehe Seriously, what do you think? BE HONEST!!
ADF Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 To be perfectly honest, your post makes you sound like a bit of a jerk. I am not saying you are, just that you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder. You consider yourself a "unique" individual, so special, and you look down on "convential" society. You clearly have some beef with feminists. You sound rather judgemental and harsh. I wonder if women sense this about you and stay away.
Author randeye Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 I agree totally, it does make me sound like a jerk!! I am a bit emotionally charged right now, and that is coming through in my words... I am not an uncaring person. I do my best to provide whatever help I can give to the people around me: I have good listening skills, and when it comes to day-to-day causal interaction, I try to not be mean or selfish, etc. But that is "Out in the World" so to speak. My mate, ideally, well, we will spend most times not working together, so yes, my level of acceptance is a bit less when it comes to my personal life. I don't really mean to sound like I have a superiority complex or anything, it's just that I fix computer hardware and software problems for people for a career, and I need a life that is a counterpoint to all that I encounter during the day. Too many times I have "put my best foot forward" or so I thought, and ended up miserable and either she or I initiated a rather swift ending to the relationship. I really wanted to portray myself as Outside the mainstream, not Above All That I Survey. I'm just frustrated!!!!!! I've just recognized that there is a sort of "pre-planned" life that you can have, regardless of what country or culture that you are in, one that doesn't require much thought and allows you to just Go with the Flow... I've never liked that, or people who are overly concerned with making and enforcing rules, or individuals who just aren't lucid. I just wonder how to go about finding a suitable mate since mathematically the odds are NOT in my favor!!! I mean, I'm taking a hang gliding vacation this summer, so there is bound to at least be Opportunity there to meet some like-minded people, but that's two weeks out of my life. It is reasonable to assume that I'll have to try more than one isolated attempt before I can expect any level of success. (considering of course that maybe I will find Her on vacation...) Where else would I go? What else could I do? Life is a boring prospect...I need someone who can surprise me!!! I apologize for sounding so Holier-than-Thou earlier; but like I said, I'm FRUSTRATED with this thought process!!!
Green Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 women are every where, they are at the line infront of you at the bank. You will see them when shopping for food. You will meet single women in clubs. If your friends throw a party you might also meet a single woman not to mention asking them to hook you up. You can also try the many free and pay internet dating options.
D-Lish Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I don't fit into any of the catagories you listed. I am non-religious, fashion forward, educated, have a good career and make my own money. A lot of the women I surround myself with are very similar.
Author randeye Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 a-HA! Now we're getting somewhere... I am/was certain that someone would see what I was saying and speak up... So I have to ask, from you and your friends' perspective, where do you go to meet people? Do you think the actual geographic area where you live allowed you to find like-minded friends, or ??? Where do you girls hang out? I don't mean exactly where but what types of things would you do if you were looking to meet new people? Where are the rest of you like this lady and why can't I find you? hehehe
RobM Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I'm married so I'm not out looking for women, but I find them anyway while living my life, while doing the things I love, playing tennis, biking, snowboarding, photography classes. Everywhere I am doing things I love I run into women doing similar things. Of course that said, it's 10 times easier to meet people when you're not trying to, mostly because they know you're married and don't have an agenda to meet them.
Green Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I'm married so I'm not out looking for women, but I find them anyway while living my life, while doing the things I love, playing tennis, biking, snowboarding, photography classes. Everywhere I am doing things I love I run into women doing similar things. Of course that said, it's 10 times easier to meet people when you're not trying to, mostly because they know you're married and don't have an agenda to meet them. yes that is the true trick to meeting women, have a woman already. The same goes for looking for jobs, having a job already helps in finding more job offers
shunter Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 It is so easy to find women. most men are wimps and losers with no social grace and thats good for me because that leaves the ratios very good for me to find girls. first, do not try to find a girl when you are drunk or at a bar or club or anything like that. second, the library and social events are a waste of your time. get out of the house and go to a restaurant or go shopping or do something. find someone you are absolutely attracted to. that girl you take a double-take on and then get some balls and go talk to her. just say "hello" and you will know in 1.2 seconds based on her response whether you have a chance. if it looks positive, engage in some small talk for 3-8 minutes and then see if you can throw some feelers to ask her out and if they are promising then do it. IT IS SO SIMPLE, there are no secrets, and your success ratio should be good if you a good catch -- 50% or more should be positive responses if you get a good indication after the "hello". so survival of the fittest -- are you man enough to breed?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I wish I could come up with a "compatibility list" of QandA that could "pre-screen" certain personality types. Seriously, what do you think? BE HONEST!! Try EHarmony lol... no seriously tho your thinking to much finding some one isn't rocket science just go out look around be confident and talk to people best of luck
butterflysil Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 i get the impression that you feel that a specific type of females gather at specific locations. the type of person you are looking for could be anywhere. i understand you have a very specific type but don't let great catchs pass you up because they may not meet full criteria.
Yamaha Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I think 40 is the age you join society and stop being the outcast.
Peaceful Guy Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I wish I could come up with a "compatibility list" of QandA that could "pre-screen" certain personality types. casual conversation.. ..I've found that most (certainly NOT ALL) women today fall into three main categories: that's actually an illusion caused by the circuitry of the brain.. you see the mind is physically divided into three sections.. front, left, and topwise.. connected by a series of tubes that carry information from one part to the other.. each side has its own distinct opinion and therefore everything is divided into groups of three.. for example, one sandwich is composed of bread, cheese, and other.. 1. Status-quo maintainers You know these types; same radio station every day, diet soda by the gallon, still wears clothes from 18 years ago, one favorite thing only in life, activity, or type entertainment ohhhh, yeah.. this ones me! 2. He-Woman Man Haters These are the independent working women, or the married dissatisfied women who run around "finding" men who are "gay and don't know it". They think men are worthless and stupid with no real place in the world except sexual service and manual labor. These women use sex as a strategy, a motivator, and a weapon in their search for self-gratification. no.. wait.. can i change my answer? 3. Party Girls Doesn't really need an explanation; drugs and booze over all else, which is to say totally self-involved and self-serving. Sex is a drug, a weapon, and a social tool, nothing else. shhlighten up and have a litttllllle fuun.. mmm. SO, my question is, how do I find women outside of these areas? intellectual activities.. the arts.. definitely indie rock shows.. art exhibits and live painting shows.. wine tasting.. philosophy groups.. poetry readings.. Now, say I do find someone who doesn't hit any of the above, then what are the chances that we will both reciprocate interest? great! but please, when you do find love, don't sit around around talking with snookie about how much better you are than the norms! :laugh:
Samari Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Perhaps you need to change your perception on people. Stop placing women into categories based on stereotypes. Everyone is unique and has their own individuality. If you have the mindset that this woman is a "so and so" then you're never going to find what you're looking for. There are interesting women everywhere a guy goes throughout the day: the grocery store, the bank, school, work, and even the city streets. It's really not that difficult to find an interesting woman. It seems like you're making some of the easy aspects of life actually difficult.
Recommended Posts