Living together has ruined my sex life

[WhenIrishEyesSmile]

Over the last month I've basically been living with my b/f at his place. My routine is like this:

• Wake up early to walk/feed/poop the dog
  
• Get ready for work
  
• Commute 1 hr to work
  
• Work 8 hours + 1 hr lunch = 9 hr day
  
• Commute an hour home
  
• Take out the dog
  
• Pick up a room or do a cleaning chore (clean bathroom, wash windows, etc.)
  
• Make dinner and feed the dog
  
• Relax/free time til bed
  

 

My b/f's schedule is like this:

• Wake up late, get ready for work, commute 10 minutes to work
  
• Work an 8 hour day with several long breaks, during which he'll go for a run with the dog, run errands, fool around, etc.
  
• Commute 10 minutes home
  
• Wash the dinner dishes
  
• Hang out
  

 

In this timeframe, we've had sex 4 times (the entire month!!!); the last time being over a week ago.

 

He says he's too tired for sex, but honestly he doesn't DO anything, and after all the crap I DO for him, I think the least he can do is **** me!!

 

Finally, I just asked him if he's still attracted to me. He said that he is, and that he's crazy about me, even if he hasn't been acting on it.

 

This isn't working out. I'm glad I found this out now.

[spookie]

what was your sex life like before you moved in together?

[WhenIrishEyesSmile]

Amazingly fantastic. We had sex all the time.

[spookie]

how often did you see each other?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Your lifestyles/work has quite a disparity. Do you outwardly show resentment about it?

[WhenIrishEyesSmile]

We saw each other Fri-Sun every week, plus 3-4 days during the week. Basically 6 days a week or every day.

 

I don't resent our different lifestyles; I resent that I clean his house and cook him dinner every night (even though I have the heavier schedule) and he won't even have sex with me. It leaves me wondering what I'm getting out of the relationship, while thinking that I'm getting nothing and he's getting everything.

 

I don't think my resentment shows, except possibly when we had a (unproductive) conversation about it.

[D-Lish]

If he's not willing to talk about it, or he doesn't see it as a problem, it's time to pack your bags and get out while you can.

 

If you've only been there a month and he's exhibiting this kind of lazy and selfish behaviour... I only see it getting worse.

 

Move closer to your job and buy yourself a vibrator!

[CLC2008]

I think since you both have work schedules, your bf should try to be more self-sufficient versus overly dependent on you. As such, you should try not to make sex a chore reliant upon doing his chores.