acarls20 Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 I believe my relationship with this guy I started seeing is based entirely on sex. I'm happy with the situation but I feel like I'm doing things wrong. We're both trying to get to know each other but it seems to be failing (into bed). We've already had the talk two weeks into seeing each other. He and I agree not to see anyone else but he's afraid of the boyfriend word. At this point, I said we are just dating which feels foolish to say. He comes over and stays the night. I'll come over rent movies, and order dinner together. We'll go out together. He and I both know the reason we are just saying that we are just dating. We have no spark left. There was a massive spark the first three dates but the minute we got in the sack. It dwindled. He's perfect and I know he's perfect. How can I make things different for us? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky555 Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 maybe its the lack of his "commitment" to you? I would feel very afraid to let myself fall for the guy in your position. Usually guys don't want the boyfriend title because they are not wanting to be too involved. I have dealt with a guy that you speak of..no sex involved but it seemed that it was going to be based on sex. I was very confused because i really thought two mature adults who both wanted relationships would become boyfriend and girlfriend with no issues. However, this is not the case with commitment-phobic men. you can't change the guy. All you can do is state what you want and find out if he wants the same things. I can see how there would be a lack of spark because there is no "couple" factor. I think you want a relationship and this guy doesn't. HUGE turn off. I think after a while it becomes boring and the bonding isn't there. People who want relationships want more. (walks on the beach, making plans to go to the movies or deciding on a hike adventure.) To me this is what would make build a strong bond and sex is the plus. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 He's perfect and I know he's perfect. How can I make things different for us? Simple. Don't have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 acarls, guys like that are a dime-a-dozen. If you want something beyond an FWB, he's not the guy to give it to you. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ReadyforLove Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Suggest that you do something outside of the house. Go bowling, hiking, sightseeing, ANYTHING besides going to each other's homes at night time! That will usually lead to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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