Am I moving on?

[Tamia78]

Over the last couple of weeks, I have had a few dreams about my ex. Most of them reiterate the sense of loss I had when we split up for good. One of them was about him completely ignoring me, while trying to pay attention to another girl. They always make me feel like crying when I wake up, but it's not the same sense of depression that I felt during the whole breakup time.

 

I've begun seeing someone with whom I've been completely honest so far since we've been dating. We've only seen each other a couple of times, so we haven't had "The Talk" yet. Otherwise, he has seen manifestations of my self-esteem issues........yet he still likes me, lol. Either way, I have optimistic hopes for this guy, and I hope we end up working out.

 

Last night I had another dream about my ex while this current guy spent the night with me. I'm a little confused. I'm trying to get over my ex, and start over with the new guy. I don't want my ex back, period. I know it's over, and I don't want anything to do with him. I hope he lives his life, and is okay, and of course I will always have feelings for him. I do like this new guy, tho, and don't want these annoying issues to get in the way of me being able to completely heal and move forward with a new positive attitude for myself, a better self-esteem that won't allow me to push people away (it's definitely happened before), and new people skills that will enable me to at least have a new friend if the relationship part of it doesn't work out.

 

I'm so ready to break out of this shell that I've built for myself over the years.

 

Anyways, do you ever stop thinking about the one who hurt you, even if you're happy and feel that you're moving on? I know some married people who still think about the "one who got away". Does it ever end? Am I really moving on, or am I fooling myself?

 

--T

[You Go Girl]

You never stop thinking about the people who have touched your life. It's what makes you human.

Accept that, and you will see that others also carry some pain from their relationships.

Knowing this, kindness goes a long way in helping to improve humanity.

[mickleb]

Hi Tamia.

 

Nothing you've said with regard to your thoughts of your ex, worries me that you're not healing 'properly'.

 

Maybe you just need to take things slowly with new guy, though?

 

x

[thepulse27]

The fact that you are this honest with the new man, and more importantly, the fact that you are this honest with yourself, says that you are not fooling yourself. The situation is exactly the way you think it is; you like this man, which means it's worth pursuing, but if it's the first serious thing since your ex then of course you haven't forgotten him. I wouldn't worry about dreams for a second. They don't matter. If they do to you, then look at it like this - either your subconcious is letting things out now that it couldn't while the pain was fresh, or the feeling of a new romance is making your subconcious remember the last time you felt this way. Either way it's perfectly natural, and it sounds like you are moving forward with your life in exactly the right way: congratulations - you are exactly where I want to be soon!