pedro1 Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 I've told my story before,here's the short story, wife left march 20th she says that she doesn't love me and says she never will, found out some problems between the both of us( no comunication,living like room mates,normal stuff that happens in marriages, we just let it go to far. Im just going to write this post and update it so I can just get it off my chest. It's been alittle but over a month and she already wants to splitt everything 50/50 I told her that's fine but I said I still had feelings for her and this is hard. I've let her go and I don't call or text her anymore, it's just so hard to deal with the emotional rollercoaster.just can't believe four months ago we were in Maui having fun together then in two months time we go are seprate ways after 13 years, I'm not blaming her for the whole thing I should of said something earlyer and not waiting for it to get better on it's own. The thing I hate besides the rollercoaster is that we have the kids 50/50 when she drops them off or picks them up she *****es me out for something, like I told the kids to much or I'm not working hard anuff to sell the house,or I didn't get the boys haircuts, I mean really complanes, she never has been that way with me before the split, I just calmly tell her my reason and she leaves mad, I've never raised my voice to her, never cheated on her, never even thought about hurting her, but she treats me like it's all my fault. Impretty sure she is a WAW , with alittle bit of MLC. Im over the part of trying to get her back, I want to work on my faults and spend as much time as I can with my boys and friends. Thanks for listening to my rant.
LisaUk Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 Hi If you have made it clear to her that you would like to try and work things out and she has said no and is treating you like this you have to set some boudaries. You need to tell her that she can't speak to you that way anymore, she wanted this and she now has no right to complain at you, speak badly to you curse you out or anything else. Either she treats you with respect or she doesn't see you at all, you will arrange alternative means of dropping the children off. Like Gunny said on another post recently "I may not have your respect, but I won't stand for your disrespect"
Author pedro1 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 Thank you Lisa, that is some good advise I will try it today when she comes to pick up the boys. That little talk has made me stronger Lisa. I need to just let her go but as everyone knows that that is hard to do right now.
Author pedro1 Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 Well she showed up today, I had the boys put all there clothes and toys outside at the door since it was a nice day out waiting for her to show up. She drove into my driveway and I hugged my boys like it was the last time ( the 5 year old told me he wanted to stay another week and it pulled at my heart strings) they walked out. She came to the door and asked when we were going to talk about spliting everything up I told her next Sunday and I'll text her a time, she gave me a blank stare and left. No bitcng this time I was ready to go all Gunny on her but she just left. It sucks because I do still love her right now but I am being strong.
Gunny376 Posted April 26, 2010 Posted April 26, 2010 No bitcng this time I was ready to go all Gunny on her but she just left. It sucks because I do still love her right now but I am being strong. Not exactly sure what to make of this statement? OK I did 'go off' on the poor postal clerk when the mail carrier delivered and handed over 'certified mail' to my landlord. And I ripped some @zz with the store manager at the local WalMart. (But you can bet to this day? If you swipe your debit card and ask for cash back, that the cashier isn't going to close the drawer, turn on the flashing light waiting for a CSM for twenty minutes to insert her key, punch in her code etc.) to get your cash. And yea, back when I went through what your going through? I went "DI" on the ex and had her backed up in the corner hiding behind the curtains in tears and in fear, (Never laid a hand on her. I just knew she was cheating on me. Asked her if she wanted out and what she wanted, and she asked for 9/10ths of my total pay!)
Author pedro1 Posted April 26, 2010 Author Posted April 26, 2010 I guess by that statment Gunny I was saying that I was going to be strong to her and stand up for Me and only me and not let her complaning get to me anymore.
Author pedro1 Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Well tonights the night, she's coming over to sit down and split are things up. She's going to have a eye opening when she finds out that are house lost it's value, it's the sign of the times right now and she's still living in a Fantasyland. I just can't believe that go from being a family to two households in two and a half months.
Author pedro1 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 I got a question for you all. As I go through this rollercoaster ride each time I see my STBX I look at her and I don't think she's as attractive as I thought she was, she has her quirks. Is it that I saw her inner beauty? now that she has left me and turned into a not nice person, could it I put her up on a pedestal now she's at my level and not all that I thought she was?
just_some_guy Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I got a question for you all. As I go through this rollercoaster ride each time I see my STBX I look at her and I don't think she's as attractive as I thought she was, she has her quirks. Is it that I saw her inner beauty? now that she has left me and turned into a not nice person, could it I put her up on a pedestal now she's at my level and not all that I thought she was? I think we tend to project what we want/need to see onto our mates and spouses. At some point, the glasses get unfogged and we see what's really there. Thing is she may not have "inner beauty" she might got ugly all the way to the bone. You saw what you wanted her to be and she really isn't. I think that image we want has a lot of power in it and that's a good place to start understanding yourself and begin moving on.
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