Cantcope Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 I feel like I have to contact him NOW. On day 4 of NC, so does it matter at this point? I had to see him in a meeting this morning and he looks horrible. He kept dozing off. I don't think he's sleeping either. The rational part of me says the obvious: he needs to miss me. I hope he'll realize he does and come back. And how wonderful it will feel to have him do that. The crazed part of me NEEDS for him to know that I miss him, and I'm thinking about him and I want to make things work. HELP....PLEASE! I just took something for the anxiety, but I can't keep medicating myself. Knowing he is in the next room is MURDER! I have no PTO left, so I can't even take a few days off of work. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ilovecake Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 I assume he's the one who broke up with you? I’m going to be honest and to the point with you. It's no longer your business or responsibility to worry about his sleeping habits. For all you know he might not be sleeping because he's busy doing something or someone else at night. If he is not speaking to you at work where you see him face to face what makes you think he wants to speak to you on the phone or email or however you plan on contacting him? What do you expect to get out of contacting him? I can assure you unless it's more heart break you're on the wrong track. If you're doing it to make yourself feel better it won't because he's most likely not going to run into your arms and beg for your forgiveness just because you made a phone call. He knows you miss him you don’t need to tell him. I think if he wanted to get back together with you he would say something when he sees you. If you do make contact you will only feel worse after wards and your anxiety with be multiplied which means you will have to medicate yourself. Just think about how embarrassing and horrible it will be to see him at work after you called him, groveled and he rejected you. Stay strong. You will survive and keep your dignity if you don’t talk to him.
collegemommy Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 First of all breathe! Everything is going to be fine...you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine whether or not you work things out with your ex so remember that the pain you're going through now is the price to pay for a better relationship later (whether that be with this guy or not). All of this is making you a stronger person... I must say, you're a stronger person than I am. I want to go no contact with my ex but just don't have the strength. In fact I told my ex last night that we should stop contacting each other unless it pertains to our daughter. He agreed but not before he yelled at me for it. Guess what? I've already talked to him this morning.... So keep in mind that some people aren't as strong as you and you should be proud of yourself for standing strong.
Author Cantcope Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 I just want to say "is this really over"? Although I know that I don't want to hear "no". I just have the same fear as everyone else.....that the more time goes by, instead of missing me, he'll move on. I can already hear most of you and what you will say. "Good, if he doesn't love you, he should move on, and so should you", but I'm damn addicted to this guy and I want to effing be with him! Holy sh*t this is driving me MAD!
collegemommy Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Cantcope, I can totally relate. How long have you guys been split up? A couple of days? I just broke off my engagement. I have a kid with this guy and grew attached to kids from his previous relationship. I have known him my whole freaking life. I felt like I was going to DIE from the pain. Here I am 3 weeks out and I'm slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe I read in one of your other posts that you guys have broken up in the past and work it out. It's part of your relationship cycle. Same here. We have split up so many times and we always come crashing back together. This time it doesn't look like that's going to be the case in my situation. You know what though? I want someone who wouldn't have let me go to begin with. Probably not what you want to hear but it's the truth... I know this isn't simple and surely isn't easy but you have to move forward whether he is by your side or not.
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