simple_city_girl Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 What can one do in this situation. I am married for over 1 year but I am still in love with the older married man who was my best friend before marriage. After I got married, he made it clear that he cannot be friends with me because that would be unfair towards my husband. I was reluctant to give up our friendship and tried persuading him for many months but he was firm and that hurt like hell. my husband is a lovely man, he is young, tall, good-looking, has a wonderful job and is also quite cute. He loves me a lot. but I yearn secretly everyday for my friend. We haven't seen each other for many months but I think of him everyday. I don't know whats happening in his life, I don't want to know. I have no contact with him but I think about our friendship and affection everyday. I feel my life is not good because I am not appreciating my husband. But it just cant be helped. My feelings, thoughts, dreams are always my friend and the past. How long will this go....I am tired of living this secret life (though all in my thoughts). My husband has no idea but because of this situation I am not living my life well and still dwelling in my past. Please help.
sao2 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 We dwell for as long as we make the decision to dwell. I have been dwelling for 3 years. I have friends that have been dwelling on the past for up to ten years. They appear to have moved on, as you have, as I have. But in our moments alone we hold on. Sometimes a relationship just isn't meant to happen. Sometimes it is meant to live in our memory as a reminder or a lesson. Maybe we all need counseling, maybe we just need to know they have moved forward without regret. Whatever it is we need I wish I had your answer.
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