stacy411 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 There is this guy (he's 27, I'm 24) that I started to hang out with about a year ago. We became really good friends, but ended up hooking up (just making out) 4 months into the friendship. I wasn't too serious at first, and we would spend most weekends just hanging out, and occasionally fooling around. We would go out to lunch and dinner at times, occasionally go shopping, whatnot. We had awesome conversations, and he would always tell me he rarely finds girls who he can talk to like he does with me. He also told his best friends about me as well (I've never met them because they live in a different state, but I have talked to them on the phone before). Well, we all know what happens. I started developing feelings for him... and I ended up sleeping with him recently. I had all these emotions bottled up inside for almost half a year, and I finally got the courage to tell him I liked him. He told me that he would rather stay best friends than be my boyfriend, and while he wasn't sure what we were until now, he thinks that we are not dating. He asked if everything was okay between us (which I assured him that it is), and ever since then, I can tell that he's trying to be friendlier than he usually is when he talks to me. I've distanced myself from him, while staying cordial and friendly. I don't talk to him unless he does, and nor do I plan on hanging out with him as much as I used to. But my question is, has anyone ever had a FWB turn into a relationship? And if so, how? I do understand it's rare, but I'm hoping for the best... Meanwhile, I'm doing my own thing and keeping my options open.
norajane Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 He knows you well enough to know if he wanted to date. He doesn't. He probably knew that right away. It's almost impossible to turn fwb into a relationship, because he's already gotten everything from you without having to be your bf. At best, you have to stop the sex, distance yourself and start dating someone else. Maybe then he might think about dating, but odds are, he won't. He can date you now, and doesn't want to because he doesn't feel that way about you. He's waiting for a girl who makes him feel like he has to have her...he's already had you and doesn't feel that yearning to be with you.
Author stacy411 Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 What confuses me though, is that he has used the term "dating" to define our relationship before. Very rarely, but he would just casually comment about it. Also, after he said no to being my boyfriend, I asked him if that meant if he didn't care I dated other people. His reply was that he would rather not know if I was, since he's very overprotective of his friends, and doesn't want to see me dating douchebags.
norajane Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 There's no point in being confused and trying to interpret what he said before or what you think he might mean. You'll just tie yourself into knots for no gain. He's told you straight up that he doesn't want to be your bf. He has no reason not to be your bf right now if he wanted to be. You really are better off moving on than trying to read something into it that isn't there.
Romance Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 My friend is in kinda the same situation. She's fwb with one of our best guy friends. However, they do go out to eat he pays for her they were listed as married on fb and they get mad if another boy/girl talks to them and wants to hang out..even say they love each other. they've only had sex like 3 times..it's more like boyfriend and girlfriend! but they will not 'date' each other or call each other bf/gf.
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