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Contact with old flame...now what?


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Posted

My new job led me to calling up her work to talk business with another

employee. I had to call the general office line and didn’t think for

an instant that she would be the one to answer the phone. I announced

who I was and there was a split second pause, then she said who she

was. I didn’t even recognize her voice.

 

Brief background, we dated a couple of years ago and I made the

mistake of breaking up with her for my own selfish reasons. I tried to

get her back but it didn’t work. Over the past couple of years we’ve

talked on occasion only because we have a similar social circle, but

nothing more, other than a Birthday wish. This was a problem because I

couldn't stop thinking about her. So about 6 months ago I decided that

I needed to forget about her. I needed to forget about her COMPLETELY.

Deleted her from FB, phone #s, email….all that stuff so that I could

heal and move on. At the time, I honestly didn’t want anything to do

with her ever again.

 

Anyway, when I heard her name I was very surprised to hear it was her,

but glad it was. I tried to get a brief chat going but she quickly got

off the phone. I have thought about her from time to time, but never

have had any breakdowns and reached out to her or anything like that.

She didn’t exist as far as I was concerned.

 

I know that I can continue down this road of not caring, not calling

or texting her for the rest of time, but after hearing her voice I

realized that even though I don’t NEED her in my life I would still

like her to be. However, I have no clue as to what she thinks of me.

She has never told me to leave her alone, or that she doesn’t want to

hear from me, I just did it because I had too.

 

Her birthday is coming up next week and before today I had absolutely

no intentions of saying anything to her, she didn’t exist, but now I’m

thinking I might phone her up and see if a friendship is possible

again. BUT at the same time I have a feeling all she is going to do is

think I want her back, especially if she has a new BF. *I don’t know

if she does and it doesn’t even matter. My head is saying, DON’T DO

ANYTHING! Let it go, but my heart still has a place for her.

 

Anyone out there have/had a similar situation? What did you do, or

didn’t do? what was the outcome?

 

Thanks for your input.

Posted
*I don’t know

if she does and it doesn’t even matter. My head is saying, DON’T DO

ANYTHING! Let it go, but my heart still has a place for her.

 

This quote sounds like you are caring more than you would about a friend.

If that is so you are truly looking for torture in trying to have a friendship - that is providing she said yes she does want a friendship too. And the fact she got off the phone so fast doesn't indicate that.

Posted

Read the link is my signature. I don't know that you called without some intent to actually talk to her. It's been a long time -- at some point you have to "pull chocks" and let go of her. If she meant to be she'd have been with you.

 

And -- if she wanted to be with you she'd be talking to you, not getting off the phone quickly.

 

Let her go.

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