Nelly swipes a credit card down the backside of a woman?

[marsle85]

 

The link I provided is the introduction to a documentary called "Dreamworlds 3". I found it extremely enlightening, and slightly shocking. Everyone is aware of how women are portrayed in music videos, it seems like old news. After watching this documentary, and seeing flashes of women over and over again- I was taken aback, and kind of disgusted. There were some excerpts of videos where I literally laughed out loud at the craziness of it all. In fact, an exclusively African American women's college boycotted a visit by Nelly because of his music video, "Tip Drill" where Nelly swipes a credit card through the backside of a woman. What's more alarming than Nelly feeling comfortable enough to release a VIDEO of this behavior, is how numb we are to it.

 

If you would, take 30 minutes and watch Dreamworlds 3- I posted the first link that will lead you to the intro, and youtube should provide the further links (for parts 2,3,4,5 and conclusion).

 

This documentary's primary focus is women, but also delves into the "rapper" and how we construct our views of masculinity.

 

I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

I PROMISE you will relate to this in some way.

[Pfiend101]

It's a music video.... I think its a stretch to say Nelly is a womanizer. It said in the intro that 1 in 5 Women in college are victims of attempted rape. I don't believe that for 5 seconds. Bad stuff happens in the world yes. Is everyone out to treat women like pieces of meat? NO

[sweetjasmine]

It said in the intro that 1 in 5 Women in college are victims of attempted rape. I don't believe that for 5 seconds.

 

Uh, why don't you believe it? Because it's icky?

[Pfiend101]

First let me say I believe rape does actually happen and that I am very sorry for anyone who it has happened to. Whoever did it to them should die.

 

I think alot of women in college get drunk and hook up with a guy who is just as drunk as they are. Then someone finds out about it and they might be embarrassed or for whatever reason they call it "rape". Do you really believe 1 out of 5 women are raped/attempted to be raped?

[sweetjasmine]

Do you really believe 1 out of 5 women are raped/attempted to be raped?

 

Yes, I believe the studies and surveys I've read by several different credible organizations like the National Institute of Justice and CDC which indicate that the number really is that high. I don't dismiss studies that contradict my preconceived notions about crime rates.

[Pfiend101]

You will find stats are often leaned to whatever direction the person making the video wants them. If they are including the false rape accusations I'm sure it is 1 out of 5.

[Rorschach]

Uh, why don't you believe it? Because it's icky?

 

I'd be willing to be money their definition of attempted rape is extremely broad, and thats how they get the statistic so high. Most documentaries know that if they show the quote unquote 'real' statistics that most people are not going to be moved to action. So they use the most one sided extreme examples they can find. It's not wrong, it's just the way it works.

 

And every documentary works like that, it's easy to see from documentaries and counter-documentaries. Supersize me and Fat Head (I encourage everybody to watch BOTH documentaries and decide which one is more truthful).

[sweetjasmine]

I'd be willing to be money their definition of attempted rape is extremely broad, and thats how they get the statistic so high.

 

The NIJ/CDC study used the following questions for rape victimization:

 

|[Female respondents only] Has a man or boy ever made you have sex by using force or threatening to harm you or someone close to you? Just so there is no mistake, by sex we mean putting a penis in your vagina.

 

l Has anyone, male or female, ever made you have oral sex by using force or threat of force? Just so there is no mistake, by oral sex we mean that a man or boy put his penis in your mouth or someone, male or female, penetrated your vagina or anus with their mouth.

 

l Has anyone ever made you have anal sex by using force or threat of harm? Just so there is no mistake, by anal sex we mean that a man or boy put his penis in your anus.

 

l Has anyone, male or female, ever put fingers or objects in your vagina or anus against your will or by using force or threats?

 

l Has anyone, male or female, ever attempted to make you have vaginal, oral, or anal sex against your will, but intercourse or penetration did not occur?

So what's the CDC's bias?

 

Can anyone show me how the CDC is using extreme examples to push some kind of agenda?

 

Or are you guys just being overly skeptical because the fact that women have to live with this sh-t every day is an ugly truth you don't want to accept?

 

And this isn't even touching the issue of under-reporting.

[Pfiend101]

You make it sound like women are walking around afraid that some guy is going to jump out of an alley grab them and rape them. Im sure it happens but I doubt to 20% of women. I could go out right now and talk to five girls I know asking them if they have been raped/almost raped. I am willing to bet that all of them would say no.

[kdark]

The NIJ/CDC study used the following questions for rape victimization:

So what's the CDC's bias?

 

Can anyone show me how the CDC is using extreme examples to push some kind of agenda?

 

Or are you guys just being overly skeptical because the fact that women have to live with this sh-t every day is an ugly truth you don't want to accept?

 

And this isn't even touching the issue of under-reporting.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. I knew a lot of girls who were raped or it almost happened to them, while I was in college. It happened to one of my exes while she was at a party without me.

 

Their are too many sleaze bag guys out there who give the rest of us a bad name.

[kdark]

You make it sound like women are walking around afraid that some guy is going to jump out of an alley grab them and rape them. Im sure it happens but I doubt to 20% of women. I could go out right now and talk to five girls I know asking them if they have been raped/almost raped. I am willing to bet that all of them would say no.

 

I'll bet you'll be surprised with what you find.

 

And good luck getting someone to admit this to you. It's a pretty personal detail.

[sweetjasmine]

You make it sound like women are walking around afraid that some guy is going to jump out of an alley grab them and rape them.

 

No, but it is a real concern. If you read through those studies, you'll also see that you're much, much more likely to be sexually assaulted or raped by someone you know, not some random guy on the street who drags you into an alley. And those numbers match up with my personal observations - all the women I know who have been raped or have been victims of attempted rape were raped/attacked by men they knew.

 

I could go out right now and talk to five girls I know asking them if they have been raped/almost raped. I am willing to bet that all of them would say no.

 

And that wouldn't be a sound survey, statistically, for a number of reasons. You wouldn't be getting a random sample if you talked to people you know, and five is by far too small a sample to be of any statistical significance.

[Woggle]

His career has gone down the tubes so I guess he got what was coming to him.

[MrNate]

His career has gone down the tubes so I guess he got what was coming to him.

 

Yep. Many rappers like these lose fans over time.

[MrNate]

 

The link I provided is the introduction to a documentary called "Dreamworlds 3". I found it extremely enlightening, and slightly shocking. Everyone is aware of how women are portrayed in music videos, it seems like old news. After watching this documentary, and seeing flashes of women over and over again- I was taken aback, and kind of disgusted. There were some excerpts of videos where I literally laughed out loud at the craziness of it all. In fact, an exclusively African American women's college boycotted a visit by Nelly because of his music video, "Tip Drill" where Nelly swipes a credit card through the backside of a woman. What's more alarming than Nelly feeling comfortable enough to release a VIDEO of this behavior, is how numb we are to it.

 

If you would, take 30 minutes and watch Dreamworlds 3- I posted the first link that will lead you to the intro, and youtube should provide the further links (for parts 2,3,4,5 and conclusion).

 

This documentary's primary focus is women, but also delves into the "rapper" and how we construct our views of masculinity.

 

I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

I PROMISE you will relate to this in some way.

 

Well this has a lot to say specifically about nelly. Not every man objectifies women.

 

I forecast this thread slowly turning into another battle of the sexes.

[aerogurl87]

Ya'll are late, that video is like 3 years old and it's from a song called Trip drill or something like that, anyway, everyone knows 99% of rappers objectify women in their videos and/or music. It's a sad reality that often helps promote the idea that women are only sex objects. But then when you have young women walking around looking like borderline hookers, it's hard to teach our younger generations otherwise.

[Mutant Debutante]

1. Please show me where, in the OP, Marsle says that EVERY man objectifies women. She doesn't.

 

2. Yes, at least 20% of the women I know, more, have been sexually assaulted or raped. If you don't know about it, it's very possible it's because they're not comfortable talking about it with you. Most of the women I know who this has happened to including me only talk about it with close women friends or serious boyfriends.

[MrNate]

1. Please show me where, in the OP, Marsle says that EVERY man objectifies women. She doesn't.

 

2. Yes, at least 20% of the women I know, more, have been sexually assaulted or raped. If you don't know about it, it's very possible it's because they're not comfortable talking about it with you. Most of the women I know who this has happened to including me only talk about it with close women friends or serious boyfriends.

 

No one is saying she did. It's just a vibe. I think threads like these are what start extensive pages of debating.

 

Definitely. These things happen to men as well, they just go unreported. There's a lot of sick people out there.

[MrNate]

Ya'll are late, that video is like 3 years old and it's from a song called Trip drill or something like that, anyway, everyone knows 99% of rappers objectify women in their videos and/or music. It's a sad reality that often helps promote the idea that women are only sex objects. But then when you have young women walking around looking like borderline hookers, it's hard to teach our younger generations otherwise.

 

Yeah, nothing new there. It especially doesn't help when the women in those videos willingly agree to be in them.

[Mr White]

It's a music video.... I think its a stretch to say Nelly is a womanizer. It said in the intro that 1 in 5 Women in college are victims of attempted rape. I don't believe that for 5 seconds. Bad stuff happens in the world yes. Is everyone out to treat women like pieces of meat? NO

 

Yep, this is one of the most ridiculous "statistics" I've ever seen - whoever uses it deliberately misleads the public. Here's a link to the actual report:

http://ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/182369.pdf

 

and a summary of the results:

 

"As shown, 2.8 percent of the sample had experienced either a completed rape (1.7 percent) or an attempted rape incident (1.1 percent). The victimization rate was 27.7 rapes per 1,000 female students."

 

It is clear that horrible stuff happens, but to insist on a cooked number of "1 in 5" is just a thinly veiled attempt to paint every other man as a criminal.

[marsle85]

No one is saying she did. It's just a vibe. I think threads like these are what start extensive pages of debating.

 

 

I'm not looking for this to turn into a battle of the sexes. I used the Nelly example because it was only ONE excerpt of the MANY discriminatory videos shown in the link I provided. My concern ISN'T about Nelly, but the BIG picture... because no one is innocent here.

 

Women are absolutely victims to the media, but it doesn't stop there. Our expectations of men and women (while different) are ultimately dangerous to both genders. This was HONESTLY intended to be PROACTIVE. What upsets me about the current trend of this thread is how reactive posters are being to one another... try to learn from one another. Drop your preconceived notions and open your minds.

 

My intention was for posters to view the video and share their opinions... and to halt any ongoing gender-debates, I'm going to state this again:

 

Watch the video... and more than just Part 1 (about 5 minutes).

[sagetalk]

In defense of the music videos, this behavior is part of our culture (I'm sorry to say). Men who have multiple women draped around them are considered desirable by women. Kindness, honesty, humility, faithfulness, sweetness, are a mocked behavior in males and show a sign of weakness to many females.

 

If being a sweet guy that loved only his girlfriend got rappers/"bad guys" the hottest girls, they would do it in an instant. All they care about is sex, they don't care how they get it. The reason they don't respect women is because it gives them the appearance of being powerful. If they showed women respect. their female options would dwindle (quantity not quality).

 

The problems are everywhere. It's not just men, it's not just women, the whole system is broken. Men treat women as mere sexual objects because it makes them seem/feel powerful, which attracts more women. Women are attracted to these men and think they need to act in this manner so the guy will pick them. It's just sad all around.

Edited April 23, 2010 by sagetalk

[Chrome Barracuda]

 

The link I provided is the introduction to a documentary called "Dreamworlds 3". I found it extremely enlightening, and slightly shocking. Everyone is aware of how women are portrayed in music videos, it seems like old news. After watching this documentary, and seeing flashes of women over and over again- I was taken aback, and kind of disgusted. There were some excerpts of videos where I literally laughed out loud at the craziness of it all. In fact, an exclusively African American women's college boycotted a visit by Nelly because of his music video, "Tip Drill" where Nelly swipes a credit card through the backside of a woman. What's more alarming than Nelly feeling comfortable enough to release a VIDEO of this behavior, is how numb we are to it.

 

If you would, take 30 minutes and watch Dreamworlds 3- I posted the first link that will lead you to the intro, and youtube should provide the further links (for parts 2,3,4,5 and conclusion).

 

This documentary's primary focus is women, but also delves into the "rapper" and how we construct our views of masculinity.

 

I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

I PROMISE you will relate to this in some way.

 

The whole nelly tip drill video problem was like a year and change ago. The girl said it herself she didnt feel disrespected. Even though it was a disrespectful act.. She got compensated for it. I mean come on we got paris hilton making sex tapes and the next day acts like nothing ever happened. God forbid one little rap video with a rapper sliding a credit card down the crack of a woman's ass. Oh the humanity.

 

It's over. move on. it's old news.

[Mr White]

 

2. Yes, at least 20% of the women I know, more, have been sexually assaulted or raped. If you don't know about it, it's very possible it's because they're not comfortable talking about it with you. Most of the women I know who this has happened to including me only talk about it with close women friends or serious boyfriends.

 

EVERY woman I know (and I bet - all that I don't know) has been a subject to inappropriate sexual conduct/advances, and if you take this to the extreme, you could easily claim that 100% of women have been "sexually assaulted." - especially if you include all the dumb things with sexual undertones some men merely SAY (no touching...)

 

You just can't lump into the same category an actual rape (which had happened to an ex-gf) and an instance when somebody inapprioriately - and clearly sexually - held my current gf's hand. While neither is acceptable, equating the two is the same as saying that every trespasser on your property should be shot, no questions asked (yes, I am aware that many people actually believe that).

Edited April 23, 2010 by Mr White

[Kamille]

Yes. Every woman I know has been subjected to inappropriate sexual conduct and it's about a lot more thant holdign hands (How do you hold hands sexually anyway???). Which is precisely why the footage of women getting harassed in Central Park is so disturbing.

 

There's a difference between harassment and assault which most of us recognize, or else we couldn't function as a society. So get off the horse. You're not being victimized here.

 

But I don't understand why people on here are trying to twist this in a gender war agenda. Portrayals of violent men and passive women in the media are a problem for us all.

Edited April 23, 2010 by Kamille