Confused Lady Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I have recently found out that I am #6 on exAP's affair list. Yes, that's right. #6 and I'm sure my mutual friend is #7. Can you say serial cheater? I'm all set. All done. I hope he has a wonderful life. No new hurts for me. To all you other OM/OW: Do you think you are the only one? Be careful.
TaraMaiden Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Stern warning, straight from the horse's mouth. (I apologise for comparing you to an equine creature. Not saying you're a mare....) If he's lying to his wife, it's a simple small step to lie to 'you' too... A cheater is lying to the very person they promised to be faithful to, in public, in front of witnesses. If a cheater can be so bold as to turn that vow into a lie - why would he not do this to somebody hidden away, and to whom he gave no such promise....?
2sunny Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I have recently found out that I am #6 on exAP's affair list. Yes, that's right. #6 and I'm sure my mutual friend is #7. Can you say serial cheater? I'm all set. All done. I hope he has a wonderful life. No new hurts for me. To all you other OM/OW: Do you think you are the only one? Be careful. how did you find out this info? either way - good for you! what steps have you taken to insure your happiness in the future? do you have a plan for the next time he contacts you? best to be prepared. move forward - for your best interest. hugs.
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I have recently found out that I am #6 on exAP's affair list. Yes, that's right. #6 and I'm sure my mutual friend is #7. Can you say serial cheater? I'm all set. All done. I hope he has a wonderful life. No new hurts for me. To all you other OM/OW: Do you think you are the only one? Be careful. Atleast now you know and can go on with your life without him in it. Best revenge is to pick yourself up, live happily and don't shed a tear for him, he's not worth it.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Confused Lady, Really, I think this is more often the case than not. Its rarely talked about, but there is a type of man who considers affairing somewhat of a sport. The more powerful his charm the more trophies under his belt. Sorry you are going through this, atleast you know 6 other women (7 if you include the bs) fell for it also.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Did you really think he was gonna be faithful, He was cheating on his wife with you! So why are you so mad? the dilussion in your head broke huh?
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 And I think this is why many OW/OM wait so long to push the issue of the WS choosing between them and the BS. They know deep down that their MM/MW would simply choose the BS and then find another OW/OM to fill their spot.
Hazyhead Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 And I think this is why many OW/OM wait so long to push the issue of the WS choosing between them and the BS. They know deep down that their MM/MW would simply choose the BS and then find another OW/OM to fill their spot. I don't know how this even relates to the original post; wasn't it that he chose every other woman too, or, none at all? How has he chosen his wife, here?!? The only person he's choosing is himself.
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I don't know how this even relates to the original post; wasn't it that he chose every other woman too, or, none at all? How has he chosen his wife, here?!? The only person he's choosing is himself. My point is that for the type of person you described above, and they are NUMEROUS, an OW/OM is interchangable. So, yes. It very much relates directly to the OP.
herenow Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Confused Lady, Really, I think this is more often the case than not. Its rarely talked about, but there is a type of man who considers affairing somewhat of a sport. The more powerful his charm the more trophies under his belt. Sorry you are going through this, atleast you know 6 other women (7 if you include the bs) fell for it also. I agree with this. There is something missing in the man who betrays his wife. There are many men who are able to get a divorce or be honest with their wives before moving on to an OW. What makes these men different? IMO, until they figure out what it is that is missing in themselves, they will not be able to commit to anyone.
Spark1111 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I have recently found out that I am #6 on exAP's affair list. Yes, that's right. #6 and I'm sure my mutual friend is #7. Can you say serial cheater? I'm all set. All done. I hope he has a wonderful life. No new hurts for me. To all you other OM/OW: Do you think you are the only one? Be careful. I am so sorry you have discovered this. When my DDAY hit, I discovered flirtatious emails to old high school girlfriends, women met through work, etc. My husband was trawling the waters for a new OW, I believe now. My heart broke for the OW he had been in a 1.5 year affair with. I would never tell her about all the other discoveries I made, when I had discovered her existence. He began to realize she wasn't "the one," but did not know how to tell her that, did not know how to end it, described it as something "that had gone to far and he didn't know how to get out of it". What a prince he was during his mid-life confusion.
Hazyhead Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I wasn't debating the point about the interchangable OP; I was referring to your point that he has chosen he BS - for this guy, his BS comes last, otherwise he would not treat her the way he does.
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I wasn't debating the point about the interchangable OP; I was referring to your point that he has chosen he BS - for this guy, his BS comes last, otherwise he would not treat her the way he does. And for those who simply want to screw around behind their spouse's back and would switch OW/OM at the drop of a hat, they put their BS IN FRONT of the AP just as this guy does who has numerous OW at the same time. He's married to his wife. The OW are just play toys in both cases, whether they be one OW he refuses to leave the M for or many at the same time. No further debate is necessary. If you have missed my point, you have missed my point.
Hazyhead Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 And for those who simply want to screw around behind their spouse's back and would switch OW/OM at the drop of a hat, they put their BS IN FRONT of the AP just as this guy does who has numerous OW at the same time. He's married to his wife. The OW are just play toys in both cases, whether they be one OW he refuses to leave the M for or many at the same time. No further debate is necessary. If you have missed my point, you have missed my point. Hilarious! No further debate is necessary because there is no debate in he first place as you cannot actually debate with a person whom refuses to see any other opinion (as you are generalising massively here) but their own. Furthermore I wouldn't waste my time debating with you only to hijack somebody's thread, post after post, as you consistently do, only to come out of the argument with... oh wait... the very same opinion you started off with. Sorry for the tj Confused, you're so much better off out of this situation!
herenow Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I wasn't debating the point about the interchangable OP; I was referring to your point that he has chosen he BS - for this guy, his BS comes last, otherwise he would not treat her the way he does. Well, he certainly isn't putting his BW before his own desires, but she isn't necessarily last. If she were last, he wouldn't go home to her. If she were last, he would probably leave. For some reason he chooses to stay married. IMO, guys who have many OW and stay married have their own issues. Most of the time the affairs have nothing to do with the BW or the OW and everything to do with the MM. We know who is first, the MM, but no way to tell who is actually "last".
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I made my point succinctly. I'm sorry you fail to grasp the concept. HILARIOUS! There was no contest intended. I was simply pointing out that some MP are only looking to f around, whether it be with numerous OW/OM or one at a time. OP, you are so lucky to have found this out. It makes it easier to hate them when you're PO'd, doesn't it?
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Well, he certainly isn't putting his BW before his own desires, but she isn't necessarily last. If she were last, he wouldn't go home to her. If she were last, he would probably leave. For some reason he chooses to stay married. IMO, guys who have many OW and stay married have their own issues. Most of the time the affairs have nothing to do with the BW or the OW and everything to do with the MM. We know who is first, the MM, but no way to tell who is actually "last". I can see you understood my point, HN. Always spot on.
Lizzie60 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I have recently found out that I am #6 on exAP's affair list. Yes, that's right. #6 and I'm sure my mutual friend is #7. Can you say serial cheater? I'm all set. All done. I hope he has a wonderful life. No new hurts for me. To all you other OM/OW: Do you think you are the only one? Be careful. Those cases are extremely rare... IMO... MOST MM have only one OW... unless they really don't care if their W catch them.. My MMs don't have other OWs... I very much doubt it.. they are extremely busy guys.. and more than one OW could seriously put them in shyte to be discovered... they wouldn't take that chance. As far as I'm concerned though.. I wouldn't give a schnut if they had more than me.. I have more than them... Plus .. what I don't know don't hurt..
Hazyhead Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I made my point succinctly. I'm sorry you fail to grasp the concept. HILARIOUS! There was no contest intended. I was simply pointing out that some MP are only looking to f around, whether it be with numerous OW/OM or one at a time. OP, you are so lucky to have found this out. It makes it easier to hate them when you're PO'd, doesn't it? I understood your point (it's not exactly rocket science); I just didn't agree with it. I also said I agreed that he chooses whomever he likes to fulfil his needs. I was simply saying that in no way does this man 'choose' his wife, he goes home to her, because that also suits his needs, I merely said that the only person he chooses is himself.
herenow Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I understood your point (it's not exactly rocket science); I just didn't agree with it. I also said I agreed that he chooses whomever he likes to fulfil his needs. I was simply saying that in no way does this man 'choose' his wife, he goes home to her, because that also suits his needs, I merely said that the only person he chooses is himself. No, you said he puts his wife last. But, that isn't even important. What is important is that Confused is putting herself first. This is a thread about a woman who has taken her life back from a serial cheater with some real problems. Good for you Confused, now you can change your name.
donnamaybe Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 No, you said he puts his wife last. But, that isn't even important. What is important is that Confused is putting herself first. This is a thread about a woman who has taken her life back from a serial cheater with some real problems. Good for you Confused, now you can change your name. And that is what we LOVE to see! A strong woman who takes charge of her life! Cheers CL!!!
Hazyhead Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 On this new day I am crawling back on to this thread with my head dragging under my chin to apologise for the way I spoke yesterday, especially to you, Donna. It was all a little close to the bone for me upon Reading your opinion and although I still don't entirely agree, I understand and respect your position. Confused, I hope you are still doing well
donnamaybe Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Hey, I've had my moments on this forum that I'm not proud of! I won't change my opinion, though. I'm just WAAAYYYY too old for that. I hope you have a wonderful Friday!!!
Hazyhead Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Hey, I've had my moments on this forum that I'm not proud of! I won't change my opinion, though. I'm just WAAAYYYY too old for that. I hope you have a wonderful Friday!!! Haha! Good for you (To be honest I wouldn't want you to) I sooo retract everything I said that was personal. God, the shame!
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